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more kids funnies.

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A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered th…
fizziebabes Avatar
9y, 11m agoPosted 9 years, 11 months ago
A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move"



A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?"


One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."
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fizziebabes Avatar
9y, 11m agoPosted 9 years, 11 months ago
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#1
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT="]It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron."


[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT="]When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mummy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your bum?"





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1 Like #2
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT="]A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mum."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."


[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT="]A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?


all sent via e.mail to me from a friend.
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banned#3
awww the innocence of kids :giggle: :giggle:

just what i needed, thanks:thumbsup:
[mod]#4
lol! Thanks fizziebabes ... kids are soo funny! :giggle:
#5
I went out to lunch with parents at weekend with my two boys. They were in the play area when the eldest (6) came running over and said "grandma a big boy just stratched my brother (who is three)" my mum said did you tell him to say sorry and got the reply "no I just kneed him in the balls"!

Mum didn't find it quite as funny as I did.
banned#6
ROFL fireheaven, i dont think grandmas/nannies do see the funny side
#7
fireheaven
I went out to lunch with parents at weekend with my two boys. They were in the play area when the eldest (6) came running over and said "grandma a big boy just stratched my brother (who is three)" my mum said did you tell him to say sorry and got the reply "no I just kneed him in the balls"!

Mum didn't find it quite as funny as I did.


:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
#8
This is supposed to be a teenage angst point of view, their jokes and sarcastic humours according to any misunderstood parent.

http://www.gistudios.com/images/Rift/characters/julie_ryan.jpg

Julie Ryan | The Student
Julie is strong willed, intelligent and as 'average' as possible up against all the weird things happening around her. She is a Psychology Major from Boston. More specifically she's from an area called Charlestown, MA. Julie is supposed to the girl next door (only hotter).
If you have any teenagers who dislike parents can relate to this picture of....:? (apologies for the Americanisms).

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