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mothers day

toratown Avatar
8y, 10m agoPosted 8 years, 10 months ago
what to do when you no longer have a mum and everywhere you look is mothers day stuff!
problem is, i am a mum so cant spoil it for the kids! not their falt is it?
toratown Avatar
8y, 10m agoPosted 8 years, 10 months ago
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#1
I don't think there is anything you can do, just be grateful for the time you had with your mum. There are those who never had a mother or father to look after them. Just think of those poor kids in Jersey and what they went through. Why don't you dig out a picture of your mum and tell your kids about your favourite memory of your mum.
#2
Hi tora
if you repost this in the Miscellaneous forum then you will get some feedback.

I do know how you feel and empathise with you :)
#3
Hey you are a mum you take charge of mothers day and do fun things that you like.. go for a walk , feed the ducks. get out a colouring book and colour together... it is YOUR day have fun as a MUM!!!! I know I willXX:friends:
#4
thats a really heart felt reply, thank-you I will do that.
you are right, there are always people who are worse off.
love your picture by the way!
thanks.
[admin]#5
Moved this to misc for you :)
#6
thanks i'm new at this! as you can see. lol you are all soooo kind. xx
#7
hi toratown i am the same my mother passed away many years ago and i wish she could still be here so i could still spoil her !!!! She was ill for a long time and so she came and lived with me for 2 years before she died so that was even worse and i had to move away from that house because everytime i came home i expected her to be there ! It gets easier with every year that pasts have you not got a close aunt that you treat as a mum say like your mums sister if she had one ?.....thats what i do now !!
#8
toratown
thats a really heart felt reply, thank-you I will do that.
you are right, there are always people who are worse off.
love your picture by the way!
thanks.


The others are right of course Tora, that's the way it's always been and always will be.

I'm sure your Mum is looking over you and willing you to do what's best for your kids and her grandchildren.
I'm sure she would want you to think of her and smile rather than be sad.

Why don't you buy a little plant or a shrub or tree and get the kids to help you plant it on Mother's Day in memory of your Mum and their Granny.
That can be a joy filled time, doesn't have to be sad and may help you get through the day in a much more positive way.

Take care Tora and best wishes to you and yours :)
#9
thanks mstiny, that does help. it's nice to know that you are not alone after all.
my mum's sister is 10 years older 85! she has a very large family of her own, and although i phone and talk to her regularly (she sounds just like my mum!) she is busy with her 3 children 9 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren! wow what a lot! i only have one brother and we lost our mum a year ago, it is hard but like you say it does get better day by day.
thanks again.
#10
toratown
thats a really heart felt reply, thank-you I will do that.
you are right, there are always people who are worse off.
love your picture by the way!
thanks.


Take care loads of love XXXX:roll:
#11
I'm thinking that your mum died 'before her time' and that's got to be really hard to take. My mum died very suddenly when she was 73 and it was a huge shock to us - because she was in hospital for a very routine operation. Everyone copes in their own way ... but, to my way of thinking, it's really absolutely OK to have a whole range of feelings AND to express them . If you end up having a bit of a cry on mothers day, just tell your kids why. It would be strange to them if you didn't love your mum as much as they love you. My thoughts!!:friends:
#12
toratown
thanks mstiny, that does help. it's nice to know that you are not alone after all.
my mum's sister is 10 years older 85! she has a very large family of her own, and although i phone and talk to her regularly (she sounds just like my mum!) she is busy with her 3 children 9 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren! wow what a lot! i only have one brother and we lost our mum a year ago, it is hard but like you say it does get better day by day.
thanks again.


gosh your mums sister has got her hands full ! I have 4 daughters just wonder how many grandchildren they will give me !!! just as long as they are in no rush none of them are married yet ,all teenagers !
banned#13
Sadly mothers day and fathers day bring alot of happiness to some, and very much sadness to others, although i personally see no pint in them at all its just another day hyped up to sell as much as they can, you dont need a special day to remember those you love whoever and wherever they may be xxx
#14
my mum died when she was 28 (i was nearly 11) and i do get all sad, especially as I have to buy OHs card for his mum. but now I have 2 littlies and its not so bad.

hugs though!! she is looking down at you, feeling extremley proud. my mum was there at both my labours, i know as 1hour before and 1 hour after the birth it had stopped chucking it down and it was sunny!!

HUGE HUGS!!!
#15
yeah she was taken from me and she was only 74, it hurts because she didn't see me reach 40, or see my kids grow up! not fair is it? she had cancer but "they" said it was ok. she went in for a look and that was that. your right because the shock of it still hurts very much, like who do "they " think they are doing this to our family? I will cry of course but, will try very hard not to be consumed by grief. thanks chesso. best to you and yours.xx
#16
thanks so much,PAULSLISA* You have had it bad! heres me bitchin about me not reaching 40 and you were only 11! how sad. I beleive in the after life too though and things that cannot be answered do happen at strange times! I wake up at 4am and can smell my mum, I even go looking for her downstairs!
I dont buy hubbys mum a card, thats his job, It's not a lot to ask for is it? mind you we now have something in common, she lost her mum 12 years ago, and now I understand her a little better. hugs to yours. xx
#17
toratown
yeah she was taken from me and she was only 74, it hurts because she didn't see me reach 40, or see my kids grow up! not fair is it? she had cancer but "they" said it was ok. she went in for a look and that was that. your right because the shock of it still hurts very much, like who do "they " think they are doing this to our family? I will cry of course but, will try very hard not to be consumed by grief. thanks chesso. best to you and yours.xx


It's OK pet. Human feelings make us human - sounds like trite rubbish but it's the way it is. Do the grief because from what I read you've not actually done that yet. A damn good cry leaves you looking like a pomegranite and feeling worse but it's good for you in the long run. To my way of thinking it's good for kids to know that their parents are emotional. But then. I'm Welsh - cry at the drop of a hat,:):friends:
#18
juliet_bravo
Moved this to misc for you :)


thanks your tooo kind. i am not very good at this!:oops:
#19
chesso
It's OK pet. Human feelings make us human - sounds like trite rubbish but it's the way it is. Do the grief because from what I read you've not actually done that yet. A damn good cry leaves you looking like a pomegranite and feeling worse but it's good for you in the long run. To my way of thinking it's good for kids to know that their parents are emotional. But then. I'm Welsh - cry at the drop of a hat,:):friends:


well i'm irish decent and a cry easy too! nout wrong with that though! looking like a pomegranite might also be an improvement! your right though, i am still in angry mode. i wonder how long that will last? it doesnt help when you dont talk about it so this is good, thanks mate.:friends:
#20
My mum passed away 4 yrs ago at xmas,i miss her every day,she was only 66 and on sunday i will meet my 2 brothers,3 sisters and their families at cemetary with flowers, then we all go for a coffee and it helps that we are all together
#21
ettam123
My mum passed away 4 yrs ago at xmas,i miss her every day,she was only 66 and on sunday i will meet my 2 brothers,3 sisters and their families at cemetary with flowers, then we all go for a coffee and it helps that we are all together


that was young wasn't it? 66 is not old enough! you are lucky by the sound of it that you have a lovely family who all share your feelings. hold on to them. i have 3 brothers and 2 sisters and i am only friends with one brother now.,since my mum passed they all need "space!!" I dont understand what that means? I am the youngest, so feel very let down now. wonder what my mum would have said, because her proudest moments were when we were all together.
who knows how grief treats different people? luv to you.xx
#22
My nan is dead (65), and mum finds mothers day hard when dad is going to see his mum, but not when we give her cards and stuff.

She just treats the day as HER day and gets spoilt rotten! She doesnt go to the grave or anything. Doesnt go and see dads mum though, that would be too difficult. She also doesnt buy the card for dads mum or wrap a present or anything
#23
These particular days must be so very hard for some people, just like Christmas.

When it is my hubbys parents birthday (he lost his Dad when he was only 12 and his Mum 13 years ago) we always buy flowers and have them in our house for them.

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