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mums and dads - im i right to feel annoyed

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I will keep this brief. Basically my son got told off in class ( fair enough ) and was put on a time out chair ( still fair enough ) however I have been told that my son was then given a girls doll a… Read More
pcnutta Avatar
7y, 6d agoPosted 7 years, 6 days ago
I will keep this brief. Basically my son got told off in class ( fair enough ) and was put on a time out chair ( still fair enough ) however I have been told that my son was then given a girls doll and made to hold it on the chair. Now i might be over reacting but I am not happy my son was made to hold this girls doll infront of the entire class.
I dont feel humilliation is an acceptable method of punishment.

what would you do and would you feel the same as me ?

It was a helper teacher who did this, not my sons regular teacher.
pcnutta Avatar
7y, 6d agoPosted 7 years, 6 days ago
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#1
knock out the teacher... then stick the doll up his ar$e -

did i go too far??
#2
a little
#3
^^^ i'd have said the same lol

seriously, i would be annoyed... punishment yeah, humiliation and i'd kick the teachers head in lol
#4
Maybe if your kid was not naughty it would not be a problem in the 1st place?
#5
If it was clearly done as a punishment,and the purpose of the doll was to "humiliate" your child then I would complain.

However,this would need to be clear intent-after all,in our pc world,there is no such thing as a GIRLS doll-they may claim they just gave him a toy to hold.

If the intent was to humiliate in front of classmates,completely unnacceptable!
#6
I tried talking to my son about it who was so embarassed i knew about the holding the doll incident that he didnt want to talk about it. ( i got told by someone else )

I tried to find out of the punishment suited the crime type of thing.. ie did he pull the dolls hair or something but it had nothing to do with this doll! I will speak to the head tomorrow. This isnt sitting very comfortable with me at all.
#7
I'm not sure why he was given a doll in the first place? For him to be humiliated? How old is he?

By the way, dolls aren't just for girls.
#8
Was the activity that led to the punishment linked to the doll?

BFN,

fp.

[EDIT]: Just seen your last response.

I would write to the Headteacher & ask for an explanation.
#9
the__mayster
Maybe if your kid was not naughty it would not be a problem in the 1st place?


thats a little unfair. you done know what they did or anthing about what happened...

OP i think your right to be ****** off about the doll. go have a word with the headteacher.
#10
the__mayster
Maybe if your kid was not naughty it would not be a problem in the 1st place?


My son is not a * naughty boy * I dont think he did that much to warrant going on the naughty chair. However i will over look that as we all have bad days..
#11
op-what is a "helper teacher?" like a classroom assistant? ie,non qualified? or actually a teacher?
banned#12
pcnutta
My son is not a * naughty boy * I dont think he did that much to warrant going on the naughty chair. However i will over look that as we all have bad days..


do mothers ever admit if their child is naughty
#13
whatsThePoint
do mothers ever admit if their child is naughty


No lol :)
#14
whatsThePoint
do mothers ever admit if their child is naughty


Mine are.
#15
whatsThePoint
do mothers ever admit if their child is naughty


Mine is awful but hopefully just his age!
#16
pcnutta
I tried talking to my son about it who was so embarassed i knew about the holding the doll incident that he didnt want to talk about it. ( i got told by someone else )

I tried to find out of the punishment suited the crime type of thing.. ie did he pull the dolls hair or something but it had nothing to do with this doll! I will speak to the head tomorrow. This isnt sitting very comfortable with me at all.


Not to mention the emotional distress caused to your son that must be worth something to the local newspaper :)

Seriously, though, it does sound like some form of humiliation tactic from what you have said, but I appreciate that you do not know, or do not wish, to go into all the details in this thread.

As I mentioned above, write to the Headteacher then he/she has to act & respond in writing. If there is a similar occurrence in the future you can draw reference to the letter you received as a reply.

It may also lead to a formal warning rather than just a "chat" between the Headteacher & the party reprimanding your son.

BFN,

fp.
#17
Yep he can be a little monkey... drives me insane sometimes but what i ment was in school his reports always say how good he is, polite, etc hes not one of the naughty boys in school... just at home! haha
#18
I'm guessing your son is in Primary, no matter what he did I don't feel it was right that he was made to hold the doll, children will tease and bully over the smallest thing and surely giving a little boy a doll to hold is just adding fuel to the fire, I would not be amused over this and would be into the school to ask why, but can you trust the person who told you about the holding of the doll?
#19
maybe he asked to hold the doll, does he try to wear dresses?
#20
Will do, i will go in tomorrow. Its hard sometimes having feelings on certain things but getting a happy medium on whether its maternal , motherly protection kicking in or if as in this case a situation which should not have happened. I am more than happy to hear the teachers side.. Im very much innocent until proven guilty so will go with an open mind on the circumstances but will remain solid in my disqust of humiliation being used. Thank you all
#21
dataload
maybe he asked to hold the doll, does he try to wear dresses?


is that how it started with you?
#22
fanpages
Not to mention the emotional distress caused to your son that must be worth something to the local newspaper :)

Seriously, though, it does sound like some form of humiliation tactic from what you have said, but I appreciate that you do not know, or do not wish, to go into all the details in this thread.

As I mentioned above, write to the Headteacher then he/she has to act & respond in writing. If there is a similar occurrence in the future you can draw reference to the letter you received as a reply.

It may also lead to a formal warning rather than just a "chat" between the Headteacher & the party reprimanding your son.

BFN,

fp.


If I had absolute proof that a teacher had deliberately humiliated one of my children in front of the class,I would insist that they never went near my child again-no reprimands,no written warnings,nothing.Completely unnacceptable for an adult to behave that way and a complete disregard of their duty of care.

Its all about being absolutely certain tho.
#23
AshleyRFC
I'm guessing your son is in Primary, no matter what he did I don't feel it was right that he was made to hold the doll, children will tease and bully over the smallest thing and surely giving a little boy a doll to hold is just adding fuel to the fire, I would not be amused over this and would be into the school to ask why, but can you trust the person who told you about the holding of the doll?


Hi

Yes I totally trust the person who told me and yeah hes in Primary School :)
#24
bitseylango
is that how it started with you?

yeah that's how I ended up being straight, got it in one. brb telling the girlfriend
banned#25
well it looks like humiliation is out as a punishment, so can i take it we are all for giving the little brats 6 of the best with the cane or slipper?
#26
barky
If I had absolute proof that a teacher had deliberately humiliated one of my children in front of the class,I would insist that they never went near my child again-no reprimands,no written warnings,nothing.Completely unnacceptable for an adult to behave that way and a complete disregard of their duty of care.

Its all about being absolutely certain tho.


I agree. The definition of a girl's doll could be a doll typically played with by a female child, or a toy owned by a girl (that may well be an Action Man for all we know).

The request to hold the "doll" may well have been the party just trying to give the child something to do so he didn't get into any more mischief. It may have just been the first item to hand; no malice intended.

pcnutta:
Do you know if the party causing the distress is actually employed by the school & isn't a parent-helper (or similar)?

BFN,

fp.
#27
For God's sake get a life. Humility and embarrassment are all that is left to hand out as punishment. What he really needed was a good smack but that isn't allowed.
Teach your kids to behave properly and this would not be an issue.
Judging by the responses on here so far it would seem this site is overun by the single teenage mum brigade who themselves don't know right from wrong, and mindless thugs who should be removed from society.
#28
059
For God's sake get a life. Humility and embarrassment are all that is left to hand out as punishment. What he really needed was a good smack but that isn't allowed.
Teach your kids to behave properly and this would not be an issue.
Judging by the responses on here so far it would seem this site is overun by the single teenage mum brigade who themselves don't know right from wrong, and mindless thugs who should be removed from society.


(and me)

BFN,

fp.
banned#29
dataload;8636965
maybe he asked to hold the doll, does he try to wear dresses?


dataload, at least the OP has sense to ignore your comment. Provocative to say the least, cut out the nonsense.
#30
Wow, such a fuss about nothing. It was a toy for god sake. I could understand if it was used toilet paper or junkies needles.

Your kid was an annoying brat, and the teacher obviously taught him a lesson
#31
fanpages
I agree. The definition of a girl's doll could be a doll typically played with by a female child, or a toy owned by a girl (that may well be an Action Man for all we know).

The request to hold the "doll" may well have been the party just trying to give the child something to do so he didn't get into any more mischief. It may have just been the first item to hand; no malice intended.

pcnutta:
Do you know if the party causing the distress is actually employed by the school & isn't a parent-helper (or similar)?

BFN,

fp.




Its a paid helper who moves around classrooms i think.
After my sons incident there were 2 more boys who had to sit on time out chairs but they wasnt given a doll or anything to hold.
#32
matt3454
Wow, such a fuss about nothing. It was a toy for god sake. I could understand if it was used toilet paper or junkies needles.

Your kid was an annoying brat, and the teacher obviously taught him a lesson


Not a very constructive comment or helpful imput to this thread.

My son is not an annoying brat in school at all, if you had read previous posts.

His reports and behaviour is flawless in school.
#33
059
For God's sake get a life. Humility and embarrassment are all that is left to hand out as punishment. What he really needed was a good smack but that isn't allowed.
Teach your kids to behave properly and this would not be an issue.
Judging by the responses on here so far it would seem this site is overun by the single teenage mum brigade who themselves don't know right from wrong, and mindless thugs who should be removed from society.


of dearie me! any adult who considers it acceptable to humiliate children has some serious self esteem issues. an adult hitting a child is just as pathetic.

and no,I am not in any "single mum brigade"-I am a father of 5 children,and it concerns me more that there are people in the world with YOUR attitude than the "mindless thugs who should be removed from society"
#34
well he wasnt put in the naughty chair for no reason.
#35
059
For God's sake get a life. Humility and embarrassment are all that is left to hand out as punishment. What he really needed was a good smack but that isn't allowed.
Teach your kids to behave properly and this would not be an issue.
Judging by the responses on here so far it would seem this site is overun by the single teenage mum brigade who themselves don't know right from wrong, and mindless thugs who should be removed from society.


What a moronic, doltish reply :whistling:
#36
pcnutta
Its a paid helper who moves around classrooms i think.
After my sons incident there were 2 more boys who had to sit on time out chairs but they wasnt given a doll or anything to hold.


Maybe the said helper had time to reflect on the "mistake", or perhaps the other children were not restless & did not need something to occupy them.

Alternatively, perhaps the helper genuinely did not believe they had caused any offence. Some cultures do not have a hang-up about gender-specific toys & may not be mindful of those that do.

Many different outcomes or reasons are possible; so go into the school with an open mind but be clear what you want to happen if the 'explanation' is not to your liking.

BFN,

fp.
#37
matt3454
well he wasnt put in the naughty chair for no reason.


Agreed, he waved his hands in the air punching the air. Maybe he thought he was Rocky, i dont know:whistling:
#38
So so far a story from a child who misbehaved maybe they don't want to tell the whole story as they know what they did leading upto it was bad possibly? Then chinese whispers from someone else.

First thing is first, before you go in guns a blazing, my child is never naughty, I want to deck the teacher style which will help no-one especially not your child, find out the facts first, speak to the school calmly and get to the bottom of it.

You may not be in the full picture and maybe over reacting.
banned#39
059
For God's sake get a life. Humility and embarrassment are all that is left to hand out as punishment. What he really needed was a good smack but that isn't allowed.
Teach your kids to behave properly and this would not be an issue.
Judging by the responses on here so far it would seem this site is overun by the single teenage mum brigade who themselves don't know right from wrong, and mindless thugs who should be removed from society.


I don't think many are teenagers:whistling::whistling:
banned#40
pcnutta
Agreed, he waved his hands in the air punching the air. Maybe he thought he was Rocky, i dont know:whistling:


Did your kid or the teacher tell you this?

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