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My Joke for Today

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A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: 'Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?' And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, an…
oldmankensey Avatar
8y, 1w agoPosted 8 years, 1 week ago
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: 'Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?'

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: 'Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?'

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: 'I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit.'
oldmankensey Avatar
8y, 1w agoPosted 8 years, 1 week ago
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#1
http://www.audioeditions.com/audio-book-images/Hey-Thats-Funny-C2X891L.jpg
#2
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman:
"Can I have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie please?"
The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.
The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie.
The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed; in walks the rabbit and says "A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman."
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down then walks out.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub; coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending; the barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year.
In walks the rabbit and says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.", smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses.

The barman says, "I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties."
The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie"

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it"?
The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says, "Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends? I know you'll love it!"

"Ok" says the rabbit, " I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie"

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie, he then waves to the crowd and leaves.

NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his own) calls time.
When he is cleaning down the now empty bar he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, "Who are you?"

To which he is answered, "I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house"
The barman says, "I remember you, you made me famous; you would come in every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous."

The rabbit says, "Yes I know."

The barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead."

The rabbit said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it."

The barman said "You never came back, after that fateful night, what happened?"

"I DIED!", said the Rabbit.
"Blimey! " said the barman,"What from?"


After a short pause...







(keep scrolling)






















.or possibly a long pause







































The rabbit said... "Mixing me toasties "
#3
http://soccernet-att.espn.go.com/design05/images/PH2/HenryG.jpg
#4
i don't get it spod :oops:
1 Like #5
lyndsbowes
i don't get it spod :oops:


Myxomatosis
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Myxomatosis (commonly called 'myxo') is a disease which affects rabbits. It is caused by the Myxoma virus. First observed in Uruguay in the late 1800s, it was deliberately introduced into Australia in 1950 in an attempt to control rabbit infestation and population there :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
#6
michelleleemoo
Myxomatosis
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Myxomatosis (commonly called 'myxo') is a disease which affects rabbits. It is caused by the Myxoma virus. First observed in Uruguay in the late 1800s, it was deliberately introduced into Australia in 1950 in an attempt to control rabbit infestation and population there :thumbsup: :thumbsup:


:oops: oohhhhhhh thx :thumbsup:
#7
killed it lol
#8
lyndsbowes
i don't get it spod :oops:


You are blonde, aren't you Lynds:-D

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