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My Word!

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
My Word!
.
.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.
snowtiger Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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#1
My Word!
.
.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.
#2
Q: Why does a blonde have curtains on her PC?
A: To open windows.


---


Q: Why did the blonde crash her plane when landing?
A: Because the runway was only 25 ft long, but a mile wide.


---


A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer aks her a few questions.
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm...4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm...10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.
The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"


---


Q: What have a blonde and a computer got in common?
A: You don't realize how much you miss them until they go down on you!


---


A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire.
They ask her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."

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