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Hi All Been reading on here for quite a while and noting how if someone needs general help you all try and do your best. My son was being bullied not at school always out of school and its really st… Read More
andreamurray Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
Hi All
Been reading on here for quite a while and noting how if someone needs general help you all try and do your best.
My son was being bullied not at school always out of school and its really starting to upset him.
So i told him as I'm sure most mums have told their kids to hit the kid back but even harder so he will think twice about laying into him again, He is only 10 and he went out and did this.
Lo and behold what happens next but the police are coming around at 2pm today to talk to me about my son!!!!
Was i really that wrong to tell my kid to fight back??
what is the world coming to when police get involved between a pair of kids fighting when they dont even bother coming out when i report a break in to my car, i'm tearing my hair out at the moment.
I may have even posted this in the wrong area you can see how new i am.
andreamurray Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
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#1
explain to the police how upset you have been with the bullying of your son.....I assume the parents of the other child involved have contacted the police and as a case of assault they have to get involved, whereas car crime generally needs just a crime number for insurance purposes. I would think that the police would like to get both children and parents involved and sit them down and talk about why the bullying is happening.
#2
if he was physically bullied then you where right for telling him to hit back imo.
#3
No not a wind up!!!
Do you have kids?
Have your kids ever been bullied?
From your reply you will probably be answering NO to both my questions!
Schools wont help as its not been in school.
what are we supposed to do
#4
tinkerbell28
You told your child to hit him back twice as hard to teach him a lesson :shock: is this a wind up?


Ohhhh this could be a classic thread.

"awaits a lot of male replies agreeing" lol
#5
andreamurray
No not a wind up!!!
Do you have kids?
Have your kids ever been bullied?
From your reply you will probably be answering NO to both my questions!
Schools wont help as its not been in school.
what are we supposed to do


could you have approached the parents of the other child?......not always an option I know
#6
Thankyou Kungfu and Bitseylango
#7
If your child was "attacked" by one or more kids you should have contacted the Police yourself.
#8
agre with ^^^^
#9
im sure the police will listen to your side and probably will be secretly thinking good on him...especially if the other kids are a bit notorious in the area.
my nephew was in a similar situation several years ago & i started taking him to tae kwon do lessons :w00t:
#10
andreamurray
No not a wind up!!!
Do you have kids?
Have your kids ever been bullied?
From your reply you will probably be answering NO to both my questions!
Schools wont help as its not been in school.
[COLOR="Red"]what are we supposed to do[/COLOR]


There's a difference between 'defending yourself' and 'hitting someone twice as hard to teach them a lesson' though. :?
#11
police involved with a few 10 year olds sorting out who is the hardest with a little fight = ridiculous
#12
andreamurray
No not a wind up!!!
Do you have kids?
Have your kids ever been bullied?
From your reply you will probably be answering NO to both my questions!
Schools wont help as its not been in school.
what are we supposed to do


If it is out of school then where did your son come across the bully? i don't believe in fighting violence with violence but i guess it's too late now. I personally would have told my son to stay away from the bully.
#13
I have also had this happen to my 10 year old son. I went with him and confronted the other children who promptly ran off. You don't think to call the police because usually they wouldn't get involved in anything like this, I'm surprised they did this time!! I was always told as a child that if someone hits you, then you hit them back and I also tell my son this (I tell him to tell an adult first and if the bullying doesn't stop after adult intervention, then yes fight back!!!)
1 Like #14
I did start jujitsu lessons but he gave up after a few weeks cos he didnt like sensai shouting!! 'He is such a timid lad' I should have done what deb8z suggested but to be honest gettin police involved at that age when i thought it would all sort itself out seemed daft but looking back i know i probably should have done that
#15
I'd have told my son to do the same thing as you. But now looking at whats happened to you I think in the future I'll ring the police and therefore I won't be in the same situation. I know thats no help to you. But just put it into prospective its not a major crime its a child sticking up for themselves. Explain to the police they didn't just attack the other child they were just defending themselves. Your in my thoughts PLEASE let us know how you get on. :)
#16
I'll let you know how i get on.
Thanx for all the advice everyone, this is a pretty good site and i will be logging in more regular.
#17
kungfu
police involved with a few 10 year olds sorting out who is the hardest with a little fight = ridiculous


I find it very hard to believe that police would get involved
#18
queenlush
I find it very hard to believe that police would get involved


that would depend on how bad the assault was on the other child
#19
bitseylango
that would depend on how bad the assault was on the other child


Then i would be worried that my "Timid" 10 year old had such a temper
#20
How bad! that makes my son sound awful, He was attacked the gang walked off he got up off the floor and he went for him from behind pushing the kid to the ground, i dont think thats bad, and absolutely ridiculous for the police to be involved. one girl i know was a witness so she is hopefully going to back up my sons story to police if they need one.
No punches, kicks hair pulling (lol) just pushed him over onto the ground.
#21
This Morning on tv now is talking about bullying
suspended#22
andreamurray
How bad! that makes my son sound awful, He was attacked the gang walked off he got up off the floor and he went for him from behind pushing the kid to the ground, i dont think thats bad, and absolutely ridiculous for the police to be involved. one girl i know was a witness so she is hopefully going to back up my sons story to police if they need one.
No punches, kicks hair pulling (lol) just pushed him over onto the ground.


Tell your son well done from me
#23
andreamurray
How bad! that makes my son sound awful, He was attacked the gang walked off he got up off the floor and he went for him from behind pushing the kid to the ground, i dont think thats bad, and absolutely ridiculous for the police to be involved. one girl i know was a witness so she is hopefully going to back up my sons story to police if they need one.
No punches, kicks hair pulling (lol) just pushed him over onto the ground.


It's a bit sneaky to attack from behind... :whistling:
#24
What you told your son to do an what he did was totally right! If he hadn't have stood up for himsel he would have ended up being a victim all of his school life and probably beyond.

As long as he is educated to that fact that this is only a form of defence.
#25
Flodd
It's a bit sneaky to attack from behind... :whistling:


Bol***s the child was mad and pushed them
#26
From what you have said i don't think you have to worry about the police. I would suggest that you don't let your son play out where the bullys can pick on him, why not take him to a soccer club or cubs where he can make new friends, or some kind of activity that will give him confidence.
#27
eland59
Bol***s the child was mad and pushed them


He clearly had a strategy...

"i'll let them rough me up a bit and once their backs are turned... BAM!... i'm in there dude..."
#28
tinkerbell28
Yeah there is probably more to this I would say, if true.

You can tell Jeremy Kyle has finished with all the calls of "good on ya son" good god what a sad state of affairs.


lol :-D i just wouldn't let my son get into the repeated situation of being around bullies if not necessary i.e. school ( meaning he has to go to school but doesn't have to play out near the bullies)
#29
eland59
Bol***s the child was mad and pushed them


If the 'bully' was walking away and the OP's son ran up and pushed them over no wonder they're the one's who've gotten in trouble for it. Any witness to this would have seen a child with their back turned being attacked, giving them no chance to defend themself.

I've always told my kids that if someone hits you, the first thing you shoudl do is try and walk away. If they then hit you again (while you are walking away, with your back turned) you now have reason to defend yourself.

To tell your child to hit the 'bully' back twice as hard to teach them a lesson makes your child just as bad imho. What if your child then thinks they can go around teaching other kids a lesson :?
suspended 1 Like #30
Tinkerbell telling people doesnt help in most cases
#31
In all seriousness - I wouldn't worry too much about it, he's hardly going to have a criminal record and in this day and age a vist from the rozzers has probably upped his street cred.
#32
i don't believe that telling a child that violence is ok, in the end your making them the same as the bullies. i'd go through the proper channels to sort it out.
#33
midlandscomics
If the 'bully' was walking away and the OP's son ran up and pushed them over no wonder they're the one's who've gotten in trouble for it. Any witness to this would have seen a child with their back turned being attacked, giving them no chance to defend themself.

I've always told my kids that if someone hits you, the first thing you shoudl do is try and walk away. If they then hit you again (while you are walking away, with your back turned) you now have reason to defend yourself.

To tell your child to hit the 'bully' back twice as hard to teach them a lesson makes your child just as bad imho. What if your child then thinks they can go around teaching other kids a lesson :?


Im glad someone thinks like me :thumbsup:
#34
tinkerbell28


You can tell Jeremy Kyle has finished with all the calls of "good on ya son" good god what a sad state of affairs.


lol well done for your own e-bullying there , strong contradiction :thumbsup:
suspended#35
tinkerbell28
The reason we have so much violence in this country is beacause it's "acceptable" parents telling their kids to teach people a lesson with violence only back that theory up.

Pushing a child to the ground from behind whilst walking away does warrant a police call, the op's child if sensible should of walked away and phoned the police for the original attack or months ago when it started, 6 of one half a dozen of the other, violence solves nothing.


When i was being picked on i reported it every time, normally i would of left it but this kid was a few years older. When youre younger that makes a big difference.

Police would log it and do nothing, meanwhile every chance the guy had he would start.

One time i hit him back and knocked him to the floor, it didnt help next time he just started again.

Its only once the guy hit 17/18 that the police started to care and he got a 2 year suspended sentence.

I must of logged about 10 times with the police, it doesnt help. If i would of punched him in the face first time round it would of solved it there an then.

Im not a violent person and i hate the way this country is with thugs on the streets but in this instance i think the OP is correct as i have experience
#36
so your son took your advice and "hit the bullys back" twice as hard, easy to make mistakes
but boy needs to learn that a person "walking away" isn't bullying him, a subtle but true difference
[mod][Moderator]#37
My sister tried to do the right thing when her daughter was being bullied out of school, approached the school who said their hands were tied, approached the parents and got a mouthful of horrible abuse, eventually she actually witnessed her daughter on the floor being kicked in the side by another girl being egged on by others, so she ran over and pulled the girl off whilst her friend called the police, the result, bully got told off and her parents tried to get my sister arrested for assault for pulling their "lovely" daughter off her victim, luckily the police/cps had more sense than to do that.
The bullying didn't stop and she ended up moving her family 20 miles away.
#38
tinkerbell28
it's quite tragic so many parents around during the day think violence is ok .


It's not that violence is okay tinkerbell, it's just that some us don't live in little villages where bullying and violence can be dealt with by 'talking about our problems' and 'anger management' some of share our streets with scumbags and often the only alternative is fight fire with fire...

As Jesus Jones sang in the early 90's 'Two wrongs don't make a right but there's a Gulf where they just might'
#39
tinkerbell28
Not e-bullying just how I see it, it's quite tragic so many parents around during the day think violence is ok , and can't see the difference between attacking a child walking away and self defense, so I made a guess :) It's really quite sad.


No, what you did was imply that everyone opposing your view was a 'jeremy kyle viewer' singling them out as someone unworthy of an opinion, itself a form of bullying, well done :thumbsup:
#40
andreamurray
I'll let you know how i get on.
Thanx for all the advice everyone, this is a pretty good site and i will be logging in more regular.


no worries...u can tk part in the hukd comp now as well!:thumbsup::thumbsup:

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