Oldie and funny - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HotUKDeals, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HotUKDeals app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Oldie and funny

£0.00 @
The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Paddy shows up with his solicitor. The a…
skusey Avatar
8y, 1w agoPosted 8 years, 1 week ago
The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Paddy shows up with his solicitor.

The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Paddy. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. You're on!'

Paddy says, 'I'll bet you a thousand pound that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'No way! It's a bet.'
Paddy removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.

Paddy says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand pound that I can bite my other eye.'

The auditor can tell Paddy isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Paddy removes his dentures and bites his good eye.. The stunned auditor now realises he has bet and lost three thousand quid, with Paddy's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Would you like to go double or nothing?' Paddy asks. 'I'll bet
You six thousand pound that I can stand on one side of your desk and p*** into that rubbish bin on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way Paddy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Paddy stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he strains for all his worth , he can't make the stream reach the bin on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a big win. But Paddy's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Paddy told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me £20,000 that he could come in here and p*** all over your desk - and that you'd be happy about it.'
skusey Avatar
8y, 1w agoPosted 8 years, 1 week ago
Options

All Comments

(9) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
Rofl!
#2
starsparkle2311
Old, for sure, funny............I'll get back to you on that!!!!!!!!!!!


Banana79
[SIZE="7"]Rofl[/SIZE]!
#3
starsparkle2311
Old, for sure, funny............I'll get back to you on that!!!!!!!!!!!


in the grand old year 0f 73 it was funny, now its pffffffft so what.
#4
new for me!!! funny!
#5
starsparkle2311
reported for ageism


how can I be ageist some of my best friends just happen to be over 89 of your earth years old, reported right back at ya for being ageist against ageists.
#6
ants97
how can I be ageist some of my best friends just happen to be over 89 of your earth years old, reported right back at ya for being ageist against ageists.


tell their parents
#7
starsparkle2311
quite funny skusey, I am impressed...............


my job is done:thumbsup:
#8
skusey
tell their parents


i would but they died of indifference whilst looking at one of your "joke" threads.

RIP
#9
Still funny in the year 2009.

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Looking for Twitter login?
Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!