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One Liners

7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty

and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.

She turned out to be an undercover detective.

How cool is that at her age?


I just saw that Harry Potter film.

A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends????


A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and

thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and said ...

"Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."


I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.

He was chuffed to bits.


When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
Took her out with one punch.


My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

"It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me.


A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are

bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"


I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.

I said "Morning."

He replied, "No, just having a ****."


Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.


I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?


I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago

All Comments

(11) Jump to unreadPost a comment
couple of good uns there
thank you, i can always do with summin to make me smile x x x
First one was best lol
sickipedia is a great site aint it :thumbsup:
Sickipedia is the best joke site apart from the servers not being very good.
sickipedia is a great site aint it :thumbsup:
Couldn't say I get these sent to me by a friend EVERY day:roll:
One Liners

You sure.
You sure.
Yes but it's a very long line:whistling:

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