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Opinions Please???

dmh77 Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
OK, so I have been stewing on this all day.... and decided to get a cross section of views on here! It goes like this...

My 12 year old daughter went swimming with her cousin yesterday. Some bloke is in the pool, trying to do laps. My daughter is in his way, so he says "outa my way fatty!" Daughter moves and carries on. My niece is disgusted by this, so reports the guy to a lifeguard, who then goes and has a word.
So far OK.
When the lifeguard is done he then wanders back to all the other lifeguards, turns and points at my daughter... laughing and chatting with his buds....!!!???

Now my girl is a little overweight.... that is why she was there!!!
She is trying, but to come up against such carp and humiliation beggars belief to me?

What do you think/ would you do??

Thanks!
dmh77 Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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1 Like #1
I think you should complain about the lifeguard. Thats not acceptable and he shouldnt be allowed to get away with it. I feel for your little girl and if it was mine it happened to i would be after blood
1 Like #2
I dont know if there is much that can be done for that... i'm no expert. I would never go to that place again but also phone the manager of the swimming pool to say your disgust at the way their employees acted.

Hope your daughter is ok and it is totally wrong what she was subjected to. Hopefully it will never happen again.
1 Like #3
ring up the leisure centre and tell them what you experienced, hopefully the person will lose his job, he should do for that.
#4
Could it be that there was a misinterpretation in what either your daughter or her cousin saw?

Lifeguards see overweight people everyday, so although possible, I would think it's unlikely that it happened as you were told.
#5
Completely unacceptable, the person trying to do laps was downright rude and was quite right to be reported. However the lifeguard's behaviour was even worse, I would write to the swimming pool to complain as that's an awful way to treat your daughter.

John
banned#6
the best think you can do is explain to your daughter that through her life she will meet the likes of this kinda person, and they are no more important than anyone else no matter how hard they pretend to be
#7
black gerbil1
ring up the leisure centre and tell them what you experienced, hopefully the person will lose his job, he should do for that.

Been trying that, no answer all weekend!!!! They had better answer tomorrow, or Im going in!!! :x
The lifeguard in question should be easy enough to locate... according to my niece [COLOR="Red"]HE[/COLOR] was wearing foundation!!!!!! :?
banned 1 Like #8
black gerbil1;2571004
ring up the leisure centre and tell them what you experienced, hopefully the person will lose his job, he should do for that.


sassie;2571014
the best think you can do is explain to your daughter that through her life she will meet the likes of this kinda person, and they are no more important than anyone else no matter how hard they pretend to be

Agree...do both of these....these sort of morons tend to belittle others just to make themselves feel better, so though BG's point shoud be done, Sassie's will hopefully sort the biggest problem out, your daughter getting hurt
#9
sassie
the best think you can do is explain to your daughter that through her life she will meet the likes of this kinda person, and they are no more important than anyone else no matter how hard they pretend to be


I think that is why I was slow to respond... I have put up with this rubbish all my life, and I am kinda worried that I have taught her to be the same!:cry:
But thinking about it now... why should she have to put up with that kind of treatment???
She just took it on the chin!! I only heard about the lifeguard bit of the story when my brother and the kids came round today!!!
banned#10
sassie
the best think you can do is explain to your daughter that through her life she will meet the likes of this kinda person, and they are no more important than anyone else no matter how hard they pretend to be


Probably the wisest route to take.
banned 1 Like #11
dmh77
I think that is why I was slow to respond... I have put up with this rubbish all my life, and I am kinda worried that I have taught her to be the same!:cry:
But thinking about it now... why should she have to put up with that kind of treatment???
She just took it on the chin!! I only heard about the lifeguard bit of the story when my brother and the kids came round today!!!


You put up with things when they bother you, children have to grow up and relaise the good and the bad, you will never rid the planet of people that behave like this, To be honest you can phone up the centre and have a word but do you really think the guy is gonna say he was taking the mick out fo your daughter, no of course not, and to be honest if he was far enough away that your daughter couldnt hear how do 100% know what they where discussing, maybe it was about the miserable git that had had a go at your daughter and how he played the big macho lifeguad and had a go at the weasle that had had a go at that little girl over there (pointing to her)
#12
sassie
You put up with things when they bother you, children have to grow up and relaise the good and the bad, you will never rid the planet of people that behave like this, To be honest you can phone up the centre and have a word but do you really think the guy is gonna say he was taking the mick out fo your daughter, no of course not, and to be honest if he was far enough away that your daughter couldnt hear how do 100% know what they where discussing, maybe it was about the miserable git that had had a go at your daughter and how he played the big macho lifeguad and had a go at the weasle that had had a go at that little girl over there (pointing to her)


Thanks... you just validated my response to my daughter! That was pretty much what I said to her! I just worry that I am teaching her to be a doormat!:-(
Lets face it, as adults, we probably know what they were saying.
banned#13
dmh77
Thanks... you just validated my response to my daughter! That was pretty much what I said to her! I just worry that I am teaching her to be a doormat!:-(
Lets face it, as adults, we probably know what they were saying.


No o think you are teaching her that sometimes things may not be as they appear, and if they are then its really not worth responding to people who behave like that, there are plenty of people out there who deserve your daughters attention
banned 1 Like #14
This is the state of how much lack of respect and thoughtlessness there is in the uk these days.

Unfortunately there is not a lot of action you can take that will make any effect. So concentrate on your daughters feelings, and tell her how much more strength and courage she showed in the situation. Also its irrelevant what she looks like on the outside, as her beauty clearly shone through.
#15
Thanks to everyone that replied, it is very much appreciated! :thumbsup:
#16
The lifeguard in question should be easy enough to locate... according to my niece HE was wearing foundation!!!!!!

^ This is good indication of the kind of people you are dealing with :)

My tip would be dont go swimming for the wrong reasons, weak minded people respond to our already learnt insecurities and holes in the perceptions of ourselves. Most likely those people spend alot of time in the swiming pool and gym. LOL The truth is they wont ever feel better about themselves because they dont even realize they do it :P you on the other hand just said you might let your insecurity rub off on her so you can change that cos you just caught it and your lovely :) not to be cliche but you are the better people !
#17
i agree that IF he was taking the mick out of your daughter then he shouldnt be but i'd personally think he was taking the mick at the fact that a grown man would stoop to such low levels as to call a child fatty.

as was said before they sit fat people, thin people, disbaled people, all sorts of people everyday in there job, they see men, women and children in embarerasing pool situations everyday, unless it was their first ever day i'm sure theyd become immune to a child thats overweight.

alternatively they couldve been laughing at your neice, not cos she was with your daughter but because she stood up for your daughter, maybe it was a giggle at the thing kids do, u know ahh bless that little girl sticking up for her cousin. titter titter how cute.

i dunno but i think that maybe your daughter didnt say anything because she didnt feel like they were taking the mick, and your neice is maybe the one who feels like everyone is staring at her cousin cos she is aware of the weight issue and is being overprotective. when i was younger i was very protective of my cousins that have marphines, and made them very tall and gangly, always jumping in when everything completely innocent.
#18
dmh77
Been trying that, no answer all weekend!!!! They had better answer tomorrow, or Im going in!!! :x
The lifeguard in question should be easy enough to locate... according to my niece [COLOR="Red"]HE[/COLOR] was wearing foundation!!!!!! :?


oh and i think saying this like this is a bit pot kettle black situation.

so a man wears foundation, but ok to judge that but a child is overweight and we cant make an issue. maybe he has a skin condition, who knows, just shouldnt judge, if your saying your daughter shouldnt be judged:whistling:
#19
people like that are so small. they are usually lacking in confidence themselves if they're like that.

Hence the foundation i guess!
#20
mummyspam1985
oh and i think saying this like this is a bit pot kettle black situation.

so a man wears foundation, but ok to judge that but a child is overweight and we cant make an issue. maybe he has a skin condition, who knows, just shouldnt judge, if your saying your daughter shouldnt be judged:whistling:


:oops: You are right, I know it, but I was really mad.The situation came about while I wasn't there to do anything about it!
#21
Perhaps if the lifeguard had a skin condition that necessitated wearing foundation, he shouldn't be a lifeguard, all that chlorine can't be good for his skin!

PS I really feel for you daughter, makes me very cross that adults behave in such a way. I would write to the sports centre, always find that putting things in writing makes a difference.
#22
stevey_p7
I dont know if there is much that can be done for that... i'm no expert. I would never go to that place again but also phone the manager of the swimming pool to say your disgust at the way their employees acted.

Hope your daughter is ok and it is totally wrong what she was subjected to. Hopefully it will never happen again.


I agree. I dont dont think anything can be done. except ignore people like that and just keep going on as if she never heard anyone. :thumbsup:

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