Two old duffers are sitting on the pier together, when one turns to the other and asks: "I'm going to get an ice cream - would you like one?"
"Thanks," says his friend. "I'll have a cone with hundreds and thousands. Oh, and a Flake... and raspberry sauce."
The first old gent wanders off, repeating the order to himself: "A cone, with a Flake and hundreds and thousands and raspberry sauce"
After a few hours, he returns carrying two steak and kidney pies. His friend looks at him, frowns and says: "You complete idiot - where are my chips?"