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Parent moving abroad.

D_G Avatar
banned6y, 4w agoPosted 6 years, 4 weeks ago
My friends mum wants to move to Australia with her chap, leaving him and his 16 year old sister behind.. is this right? she claims it is fair and she has seen them until they are old enough and she now wants to move away, she has offered for them to go to but they dont want to.

Their now moving in with their grandparents.. they arent happy and arent speaking with the mother. i see both sides of the coin. Is she really in the wrong?
D_G Avatar
banned6y, 4w agoPosted 6 years, 4 weeks ago
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#1
she wana get her freak on down under!
banned#2
Where is their father?
banned#3
DLM
Where is their father?


dead
#4
I feel sorry for the 16 yr old.
9 Likes #5
seriously though, i know ppl say u got ur kids till 18 bla bla...but i think u got ur kids for life and if they arent happy and want u around then u kinda gotta cater for that or find some middle ground. i see she wants to get on with her life but a mum is crucial esp for a 16 yr old girl..... might not be a popular opinion but u think she is being selfish (the mum).....lovers come and go but family should come first.
[mod] 4 Likes #6
I wouldn't do it to my kids but everyone is different.
4 Likes #7
Under 18 = wrong IMO. She should wait until they are adults.
1 Like #8
jellybaby22
i agree with MB.. your not just a parent until they are grown up
( whenever you consider that to be ) its a job for life.. and I would always put my children before what I wanted....

hi5 to my clique buddy! (btw u forgot to like me) :p
banned#9
DangerGod
DLM
Where is their father?
dead

I went to live with my dad when I was 16 beacause my mum moved away with her bf.

How old is your friend?
3 Likes #10
if you have kids they should always come first
#11
Babbabooey
Under 18 = wrong IMO. She should wait until they are adults.


when u hit 18 life doesnt magically change....i think its all down to individuals and parents should really put their kids desires first esp if their father has passed away as well. when they settle down and have their own families u know they arent so dependent on u...and then u can do whatever...till then enjoy being a parent and all...its a tough job but those blessed with kids also know how rewarding it is!
1 Like #12
Syzable
I wouldn't do it to my kids but everyone is different.

same here, especially Australia oO........mightnt be as bad if it was only spain or somewhere were its only a couple of hours flight away !....but the other side of the world , .....nah couldnt do it !
#13
hmm tricky one. His mam deserves to be happy, and your friend shouldnt relay on his mam all the time, he needs to stand on his own two feet.

but, his mam shouldnt be leaving him to go to the other side of the world!

tough one...

personally i wouldnt and couldnt!

Edited By: nono2522 on Nov 10, 2010 17:40
#14
They have the choice wether to go or not, so whats the problem? the parent isnt leaving them, they are choosing to be left behind.......
Who would choose to live in the UK over moving to Oz?
banned#15
Well i do agree your kids come first thats for sure, her brother (my friend) is 20 and his sister is close to 17 and in sixth form + started a course. i know she has had it hard in the past with the passing of their father at a young age and now just wants to get away from it all.. like i say she has said they can go.

i kind of see her point, but like i say.. i see both sides.
#16
Australia or UK..
Hmm, tough choice oO
1 Like #17
What a COW!!! oO
banned#18
PraxxtorCruel
What a COW!!! oO


i think thats slightly harsh.
#19
the kids are a bit too young imo, my parents may be off to new zeland next year and if so me and my sister will certainly be staying here, im 19 and she is 21 though so its quite different X)

Edited By: micoo on Nov 10, 2010 17:46
1 Like #20
micoo
the kids are a bit too young imo, my parents may be off to new zeland next year and if so me and my sister will certainly be staying here, im 19 and she is 21 though so its quite different X)

You've been 19 for the past 2 years oO....




:D
#21
Life does magically change at 18, you become an adult in the eyes of the law. There is a huge difference in fending for yourself at 16 or 18.

Parents are allowed to have lives too, they are not just there to look after their kids until they die. 18 is plenty old enough for them to make their own decisions in life.
#22
Babbabooey
Life does magically change at 18, you become an adult in the eyes of the law. There is a huge difference in fending for yourself at 16 or 18.Parents are allowed to have lives too, they are not just there to look after their kids until they die. 18 is plenty old enough for them to make their own decisions in life.

Yeah what was I thinking, I forgot she needed her smexy time.
banned#23
DangerGod
Well i do agree your kids come first thats for sure, her brother (my friend) is 20 and his sister is close to 17 and in sixth form + started a course. i know she has had it hard in the past with the passing of their father at a young age and now just wants to get away from it all.. like i say she has said they can go.i kind of see her point, but like i say.. i see both sides.

I left home when I was 18 to live with my cousin because she was having a baby.

Do they not get on with their grand-parents?
#24
16 I think is a little young.

I have always said to hubby I want to Emigrate to Canada where the majority of my family are, But I have said I wont do that till my kids have grown up, moved out and I know are happy. Plus they would have the option to come with me. But then if grandkids came in the question I could see me staying in the UK as kids always come first.

I feel she has to do what it best for her AND her children, But I feel she needs to wait a couple more years before going out forever.
#25
Is the mum actually going to Australia or just saying that she is? Does she have the immigration all sorted out? The belongings in the UK sold? etc....because if not it may all be pie in the sky. Australia have really clamped down on letting people in.

I cannot imagine how any mum could leave her16 year old. Perhaps she is thinking that daughter is bound to want to come in the end?

Two sides of the coin, as you say DG.

Any which way, they need to talk!!
#26
My mum kicked me out when i was 1, sounds like she's had it easy for too long tbh.
1 Like #27
bad mum off 2 oz with the new bloke and says what about me am i not allowed a life ? yes of course you are but do you really want one without your kids ? happens way to often sign of the times im afraid and i include dads in this 2 probs be back in six months saying it didnt work out and she will be back on the net looking for another one lol jaded me nooooooooo lol
#28
I dont see what the mum is doing wrong here, she's not abandoning then,they can go with her.
#29
PraxxtorCruel
micoo
the kids are a bit too young imo, my parents may be off to new zeland next year and if so me and my sister will certainly be staying here, im 19 and she is 21 though so its quite different X)


You've been 19 for the past 2 years oO....




:D


ive been 19 since february :p
#30
why is she leaving the country?

dont tell me...sick of the immigrants?

oooohh the irony

besides its no wonder this country is in a mess if everyone is running away scared sh*t

our ancestors must be rolling in their graves

Edited By: sedd33 on Nov 10, 2010 18:38
#31
To be fairto her it may be that they have to go now due to their age otherwise they might not get accepted down the line. Awful situation to be in. Really wish the 16 year old would go it could open. So many new opportunities. The fact that they can stop with grandparents shows it is probably a very loving family
banned#32
chesso
Is the mum actually going to Australia or just saying that she is? Does she have the immigration all sorted out? The belongings in the UK sold? etc....because if not it may all be pie in the sky. Australia have really clamped down on letting people in.

I cannot imagine how any mum could leave her16 year old. Perhaps she is thinking that daughter is bound to want to come in the end?

Two sides of the coin, as you say DG.

Any which way, they need to talk!!


its most certainly going to happen, its not just hot air.. i believe papers etc have all been accepted etc, the guy shes with now is originally from Oz, but he moved here to be with her a few years ago. She wasnt willing to move out there then but now she sees it as the right time with both kids having left school etc.. they arent happy shes going ,im sure they will come around. i dont think its selfish, like i say.. i see both sides.

Edited By: DangerGod on Nov 10, 2010 18:50
suspended#33
pinkleponkle
I dont see what the mum is doing wrong here, she's not abandoning then,they can go with her.


Are u for real?

Sedd33: I think u've gone of topic just a little bit there....

16 is still young she will still need help and guidance from the mum, especially with the dad not being around any more.
There's a lot of stuff to be said but personally, and being honest, I think the mum is selfish. She had child an now thinks the responsibility of taking care of a child stop at the age of when they reach 16... come on now.
#34
I know someone in a similar situation (I think... haven't heard/can't remember all the details as I don't see them much).

Would be funny if it was the same person :p

Edited By: oldmanhouse on Nov 10, 2010 18:53
#35
I think everyone is overlooking the Grandparents role in all this and how that relates, I wonder how the Grandparents feel about their daughter moving and leaving the kids behind?

Regardless of perceived selfish motives of the mother, if the childen do not want to move and the Grandparents are supportive of looking after the children, and are supportive of their daughters move in life then it may not change the situation of the childrens unhappiness, but it says a lot about the communication lines that we cannot read between knowing little about the situation to judge one way or the other.
#36
PraxxtorCruel
What a COW!!! oO


i agree, some mother hey, makes you wonder why some people even have kids:)

leave my child never in a million years, nothing could even tear me away, even when they well past there 40's onwards i will still be there ever day,bugging them. prob get took to go away in some form or another, but hey, iam always a mother first.
#37
She shouldnt have given a 16 year old the choice just should have told her "We're moving"
1 Like #38
Stupid women she had the kids now she doesnt wanna take care of them. Disgrace. Shows how much love she has for them to move half way across the world without a second thought. :|
#39
tinkerbell28
Randa1
She shouldnt have given a 16 year old the choice just should have told her "We're moving"
Or if she were a considerate, decent parent, let her finifsh her 2 years at college which is arguably quite an important time.Then ask, 2 years is nothing to wait for your children.

well maybe if she's an inconsiderate, bad parent, the daughter would be better off with her gone and to be in the care of her grandparents.
#40
sedd33
why is she leaving the country?

dont tell me...sick of the immigrants?

oooohh the irony

besides its no wonder this country is in a mess if everyone is running away scared sh*t

our ancestors must be rolling in their graves


From what I have heard, Australia has a fair share of immigrants too (non-UK I mean). I would run to Australia to get away from the daily (insert explicit here) poor weather. Pay is better there generally too!

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