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Passport Application Letter

taasda Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!

I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.
taasda Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
"who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN..."

Good up until then but the signatory declares they've known you for 2 years on the form so he wouldn't be eligible anyway.
banned#2
nice one a good rant lol hope you get your passport
#3
NIce 1, agree totally with all BS that you got to jump through.
[helper]#4
The counter signing by a "profession" (eg lawyer, doctor, policeman, clergy) really rankles. It sort of implies "they" are more trustworthy than the rest of us and harks back to the old class system.........
BTW - I'm saying this as someone who CAN countersign passport applications!
banned#5
lol are you saying the government should be aware of all the videos you have rented and everything!? People complain when the government pries into their personal life and you seem to think they should know everything about you to make your life easier. If they already do have information on you then its only more secure if someone writes in for a new passport and they can CONFIRM it all so they know that you are who you claim to be, if someone stole your identity you would probably whine about how easy it was for them to do. You don't have a leg to stand on.
#6
Proximo
lol are you saying the government should be aware of all the videos you have rented and everything!? People complain when the government pries into their personal life and you seem to think they should know everything about you to make your life easier. If they already do have information on you then its only more secure if someone writes in for a new passport and they can CONFIRM it all so they know that you are who you claim to be, if someone stole your identity you would probably whine about how easy it was for them to do. You don't have a leg to stand on.


I didn't write it - honest:-D
banned#7
lol well either way thats my point of view about the whole thing in case anyone else reads it
#8
Proximo
lol are you saying the government should be aware of all the videos you have rented and everything!? People complain when the government pries into their personal life and you seem to think they should know everything about you to make your life easier. If they already do have information on you then its only more secure if someone writes in for a new passport and they can CONFIRM it all so they know that you are who you claim to be, if someone stole your identity you would probably whine about how easy it was for them to do. You don't have a leg to stand on.


No i think hes saying that the guy can remember every single video hes had for 10 years so why cant the government just remember his birthdate
banned#9
31 December 2007

Identity and Passport Service
Customer Services
Third Floor
Milburn Gate House 1L
Durham
DH1 5ZL

To whom it may concern,
Please find enclosed my passport which contains the the following errors:
[COLOR="Red"]NAME: “XXXXXX XXXXXXX”
D.O.B: MAY 47[/COLOR]
This information should be amended accordingly:
[COLOR="SeaGreen"]NAME: “XXXXXX XXXXXXX”
D.O.B: MAY 87[/COLOR]
Please find enclosed my birth certificate and relevant documentation.

PS: Holy #### how do you guys make such mistakes when the form was filled out with one character per box, also no form of quality control? Because alarm bells would ring for anyone who looked at the passport for more than three seconds. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely yours,

XXXXXX XXXXXXX



lol I had a new (correctly made) passport within 24 hours (it said i was 65 or something when I am 20 and they spelt my name wrong)
banned#10
matt3454
No i think hes saying that the guy can remember every single video hes had for 10 years so why cant the government just remember his birthdate


I think they could if they had to, the point is however that whoever is applying for a passport needs to confirm that they are who they say they are by providing these details, the more the better

esp since the passport is such a heavy duty piece of ID you can open up new bank accounts etc with someone elses
#11
Signing by profession isn't so much to do with trustworthiness. Quite the reverse. It's all to do with whether someone can be traced and verified as bona fide.

Passport applications are trivial. If you REALLY want a thorough security clearance, that goes to developed vetting. An acquaintance didn't know for sure who his biological father was, he only had - maybe - a first name. He needed to get cleared and didn't make any attempt to disguise his background.

Several months later his clearance came through. He asked whether the uncertainty over his father had been a problem. He got the reply "He's OK. We found him".

Now THATs scary.
#12
It's going to get worse for first time applications, plus they'll thrown in an identity card soon. personally I'm all for making it difficult, if you're entitled then you'll get one, if you've nothing to hide then it's a hassle but remember there are people that have things to hide.

Once yu have your first passport it's so easy to renew. I used to be able to sign applications for people but not now. To be honest, I'm rather pleased I can't as it's a pain.
#13
Rather too close to the truth! Not quite a police state more an information state.

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