Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on insufficient funds when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an S in the word lisp?
How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think Ill squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?
Who was the first person to say, See that chicken there Im gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but dont point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why isnt phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
When dog food has a new and improved taste, who tastes it?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
You know the little indestructible black box that's used on aeroplanes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same stuff?
What do you call a male ladybird?