A man named Ralph appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St.Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Brecon Beacons in South Wales, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, yelling "Now, back off or I'll kick the hell out of all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago".