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Rant on parenting!!

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Hi, Ok well this just a general rant on how things have changed when it comes to being a parent/having a baby. I am due to have my 3rd child in 6 weeks and posted a thread for crib bedding wanted as… Read More
oriental*lilly Avatar
9y, 3m agoPosted 9 years, 3 months ago
Hi,
Ok well this just a general rant on how things have changed when it comes to being a parent/having a baby. I am due to have my 3rd child in 6 weeks and posted a thread for crib bedding wanted as i am having trouble finding a nice set in pink but have now managed so no worries there, however one of the responses was someone saying how new findings blah blah blah advise those grobag things to avoid cot death etc. However i am one of 7 children and my mother used blankets and bumpers as did her Mother. Cot death is a terrible thing but it is sadly just one of those things that happen and making us scared on putting our kids to bed at night does not help one bit!
Another example now is my midwife recently told me how they discourage making bottles up in advance and refridgerating them for reasons of bacteria can form etc etc.. well i did for my other 2 children as have all my sisters and her mother, How on earth are we supposed to ever go out if we have to have bottles made fresh for every feed? Its just stupid and makes me so angry!
Ok rant over phewwww
oriental*lilly Avatar
9y, 3m agoPosted 9 years, 3 months ago
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#1
God they bring new things time after time. I personally used a gro bag with my last son but that was coz he kept kicking covers off all the time, getting cold and waking up, my other boys i used blankets and thank god they are here to live the tale as is my last son. I would ignore comments on the cot death if its meant to be its meant to be and it will happen regardless, my theory is everything happens for a reason.

As for bottles another way round it is....put water in put lids on then when your wanting bottles just add the powder and its at room temp!! Cheating but a handy way, hv thought this was ok.

At the end of the day if YOUR happy with how you do things as i was and your children arent at serious danger (which you wouldnt do!) then do it YOUR way!!
#2
I use grobags for my 2 but thats only because they tend to shuffle out of their covers at night and wake up cold. As for bottles, i make up sterilised bottles with cooled boiled water then just add the powder when ready to feed. I agree though on the conflicting advice. My mum was babysitting my brothers 6 month old the other day and she phoned me up to see if i thought she should put weetabix in his night bottle of milk to make him sleep:w00t: Errr no mum!
#3
I have an 18 month old, we tried following the health visitors advice and reccomendations to the letter but a lot of it is simply not suitable or not practical. The best advice I could give is to 'Do whats best for you and you baby'.

Making fresh bottles up at 4AM is simply not practical, we tried it for something like two nights then kicked it into touch. We make up bottles under 24 hours in advance with boiled water in sterile bottles (up to 12 months) allow them to cool naurally then make up the formula and refrigerate them - no problems!
#4
amcol
God they bring new things time after time. I personally used a gro bag with my last son but that was coz he kept kicking covers off all the time, getting cold and waking up, my other boys i used blankets and thank god they are here to live the tale as is my last son. I would ignore comments on the cot death if its meant to be its meant to be and it will happen regardless, my theory is everything happens for a reason.

As for bottles another way round it is....put water in put lids on then when your wanting bottles just add the powder and its at room temp!! Cheating but a handy way, hv thought this was ok.

At the end of the day if YOUR happy with how you do things as i was and your children arent at serious danger (which you wouldnt do!) then do it YOUR way!!



Lol, nearly word for word! Great minds think alike:thumbsup:
#5
the products we use have changed, therefore the warnings have changed.
You can't compare the lifestyle we had in the past to the one we lead today:
- The milk is produced from cows which don't have the same composition that they did in the past... we don't use the same water that we did in the past, thier composition has definately changed with all the chemicals.
We don't live in the same enviroment as we did in the past: global warming is not something new to anyone today, and doesn't seem to bother anyone either (scary!!)
(just a tip: about going out - you have the disposable sealed cartons with ready made milk: which are protected against bactaria)

... it is as obvious as all new diseases that are discovered on a daily basis, or new types of problems our world is faced with due to human evolution...
its genetics! we evolve on a daily basis... we mutate....
otherwise we'd all still be hanging on tree's...

so you have to accept it: the good with the bad
#6
My daughter is 7 months old now, and we a make fresh bottle for every feed, its quite simple; for the tommy tippee bottles you can buy these little 'pots' fill them up with the required formula (1 scoop per ounce) and put the pot in the bottle, then in the fridge done. Just add the pre-measured formula when needed, its not that bad.

But it is a contrived nightmare with this influx of paranoia inducing baby products, monitors, heat beat and breathing monitors, bath thermometers, sterilizers, etc!!! Its crazy!

The Americans may have one thing right they don't sterilize everything like we do.
#7
I have all this to look forward to.... :w00t::w00t::w00t:
#8
We used a cot & blankets for our 2, we made up bottles in advance, we didn't tiptoe round the house when they were asleep, and we did what we thought felt 'right' for them. We treated the midwive's advice as that - 'advice'. There's a good reason that Haynes don't do a 'How to maintain your baby' book!
#9
This is new about the bottles,I've not seen a tin of milk in a good while now so don't know what the preparations say.I suppose the same goes for breastmilk,I used to store that in fridge if for same day or freeze it ahead if I wasn't going be having the baby for a cpl days or so.
I'm just going stick to doing things as I've done before and suggest you do as you done before your way.
#10
cis_groupie
We used a cot & blankets for our 2, we made up bottles in advance, we didn't tiptoe round the house when they were asleep, and we did what we thought felt 'right' for them. We treated the midwive's advice as that - 'advice'. There's a good reason that Haynes don't do a 'How to maintain your baby' book!


I think you will find they do!
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj72/pinkkitty2007-HUKD/baby.jpg


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Haynes-Baby-Manual-Conception-Years/dp/1844250598

I got this book for my OH when i was pregnant, it is very funny in places! Definately a man's take on pregnancy, birth and babies
#11
cis_groupie
There's a good reason that Haynes don't do a 'How to maintain your baby' book!


http://books.google.com/books?id=GVFsn9q2krYC&printsec=frontcover&dq=The+Baby+Owner%27s&sig=9AhDTTrI6Pg6KGZRKmSuhrCfync
#12
pinkkitty2007
I use grobags for my 2 but thats only because they tend to shuffle out of their covers at night and wake up cold. As for bottles, i make up sterilised bottles with cooled boiled water then just add the powder when ready to feed. I agree though on the conflicting advice. My mum was babysitting my brothers 6 month old the other day and she phoned me up to see if i thought she should put weetabix in his night bottle of milk to make him sleep:w00t: Errr no mum!


lol,Farleys Rusk is a favourite for the nans to put in bottles,has they did it with us in their 20's and 30's,it was done a lot back then in the 1970-1980's.
#13
The reason the midwives/product manufacturers go for a belt and braces approach is simple, if they dont, and something goes wrong then you sue them.

Therfore they tell you the 100% government reccomended safest way of doing things and they cant be held responsible.

In real life though, do whats best for you - I would not advocate doing it the least safest way but I would do it in a way whch keeps your baby safe but d is not completeley impractical.
#14
I've found all this since having my 2nd baby, my daughter 10 weeks ago and as other people have said, you know your own baby, you know what works for you.

The government recommendations change all the time so just do what you think is right for the two of you
#15
You know what i find most funny, i have hardly seen my midwife in this pregnancy (3 times up till now) yet saw alot more of her with my other 2, my sister had her first baby 6 months ago and she hardly saw hers either and after she gave birth she was pretty much left to do it alone with no help, she was not taught how to bath the baby or anything and it was me that gave him his first bath once he was released from hosital to show her how. Her sons cord got all infected and she paniced about that as the midwife had not been for a few days so he had to go to emegnecy doctor. When i had my other 2 the midwife came out every other day and was on call if needed.
It made me wonder how some mothers who have no help manage at all with new baby.
#16
Haynes for Babies?!?!? :w00t: Why did my book club never stock this???

("Insert the grommit into slot A & fasten tightly, then replace oil until full" - lol!)
#17
i would still recommend all parents with more then 1 baby to keep the momentum and not take things for granted...
its just like driving, the most experienced drivers think accidents only happen to others! but then.... BANG!
#18
oriental*lilly
You know what i find most funny, i have hardly seen my midwife in this pregnancy (3 times up till now) yet saw alot more of her with my other 2, my sister had her first baby 6 months ago and she hardly saw hers either and after she gave birth she was pretty much left to do it alone with no help, she was not taught how to bath the baby or anything and it was me that gave him his first bath once he was released from hosital to show her how. Her sons cord got all infected and she paniced about that as the midwife had not been for a few days so he had to go to emegnecy doctor. When i had my other 2 the midwife came out every other day and was on call if needed.
It made me wonder how some mothers who have no help manage at all with new baby.


We didn't really have any help but common sense prevails and to repeat the sentiment thats a running theme here, is that you do know your baby and you know whats best.
#19
Mine is 5 weeks old, and i make my bottles up ready, as long as they are no older than 24hrs and in the fridge i cant see a problem. Another thing my mum was shocked at, is the "pro's" don't recommend giving plain boiled water anymore.....don't babies get thirsty too?
As long as your happy with what your doing, then there is no right or wrong way really...listen to the advice, and if you want to follow it then do, if you don't then simple....don't! Good luck, hope yours is'nt a 6 day hospital stay and a 29 hour labour like mine!! xx
#20
Lulu'sMammy
Mine is 5 weeks old, and i make my bottles up ready, as long as they are no older than 24hrs and in the fridge i cant see a problem. Another thing my mum was shocked at, is the "pro's" don't recommend giving plain boiled water anymore.....don't babies get thirsty too?
As long as your happy with what your doing, then there is no right or wrong way really...listen to the advice, and if you want to follow it then do, if you don't then simple....don't! Good luck, hope yours is'nt a 6 day hospital stay and a 29 hour labour like mine!! xx


I was told there was no need for the boiled water cooled that was almost 8 yrs ago with my 1st,they said the breastmilk provided all but I went ahead and give water anyway.In Boots don't know if they still do it,but there was slightly flavoured water for babies and could be used from 4 wks.I bought some but they didn't like it either of them.
Blimey 6 days,surprised they let you have a bed that long,even women don't get to stay that long after having C-Section around hospitals in my area,lucky if 3 days.
#21
Lulu'sMammy
Mine is 5 weeks old, and i make my bottles up ready, as long as they are no older than 24hrs and in the fridge i cant see a problem. Another thing my mum was shocked at, is the "pro's" don't recommend giving plain boiled water anymore.....don't babies get thirsty too?
As long as your happy with what your doing, then there is no right or wrong way really...listen to the advice, and if you want to follow it then do, if you don't then simple....don't! Good luck, hope yours is'nt a 6 day hospital stay and a 29 hour labour like mine!! xx

Hi, yes i have always offered my babies boiled water and with my first daughter the midwife advised a tiny bit of orange juice added as she was constipated, i bet they would have a fit if i said anything of the sort to a midwife now lol.
My last baby was born at home within 2 hours all my own with just 2 paracetamol to keep me going so kinda hoping for the same this time but with my husband in the room not putting the labour bag in the car!
#22
Health professionals are there to advise and give you the the latest research, it is up to parents how they utilise this information.
Thankfully my 3 children are fit/healthy, i chose to adhere to most of the recommendations of the time - and they have changed in the 4.5 yrs of having my girls, but after a close friend lost her child to cot death i think it is good to listen to balanced/researched views and then decide.
#23
summer690
Health professionals are there to advise and give you the the latest research, it is up to parents how they utilise this information.


This is all very well but when my wife's emotions are running high and all the new experiences of being a parent seem a little over whelming, a friendly supportive approach would have been nice apart from pre-scripted information retold like a robot; quite frankly they may have well just posted a leaflet through the door.
#24
I have had 4 children my eldest now being 27 and have never sterilized anything apart from about three weeks with my first they were all fine ......if something going to happen it will its just karma
#25
summer690
Health professionals are there to advise and give you the the latest research, it is up to parents how they utilise this information.
Thankfully my 3 children are fit/healthy, i chose to adhere to most of the recommendations of the time - and they have changed in the 4.5 yrs of having my girls, but after a close friend lost her child to cot death i think it is good to listen to balanced/researched views and then decide.

I completely agree. When recommendations changed from having babies lying on their front to their back rates of cot death have fallen by three quarters.
http://www.fsid.org.uk/babycare.html There is their advice about sleeping bags

Can my baby use a sleeping bag?
Yes, sleeping bags are a safe alternative to blankets. If you use a sleeping bag, it needs to be hoodless, and have the right size opening at the neck so your baby won’t slip down inside the bag. Never use with a duvet. To make sure your baby doesn’t become too hot, choose a lightweight bag. ie they are okay to use as long as its lightweight and hoodless.


If any harm comes to your baby if you don't follow the advice of the health professionals are you happy to live with the blame?
30 or 40 years ago standards of living were completely different (how many had central heating) so you can't compare what your mum did to what you should do now.
#26
i fully agree with you
we have 2 kids 3 1/2 years and 9 months and we didnt even bother using a steriliser and we always make bottles up in advance always use cot blankets and bedding and our 2 are alright its better to build up your childs immune system naturally....
dont get me wrong everything was always washed and cleaned
i dont think its correct to impose their views on you its nice and helpful to give advice but not to demand that you do things.....
having kids is daunting enough without all this scaremongering
:thumbsup:
#27
gari189
I completely agree. When recommendations changed from having babies lying on their front to their back rates of cot death have fallen by three quarters.
http://www.fsid.org.uk/babycare.html There is their advice about sleeping bags

Can my baby use a sleeping bag?
Yes, sleeping bags are a safe alternative to blankets. If you use a sleeping bag, it needs to be hoodless, and have the right size opening at the neck so your baby won’t slip down inside the bag. Never use with a duvet. To make sure your baby doesn’t become too hot, choose a lightweight bag. ie they are okay to use as long as its lightweight and hoodless.


If any harm comes to your baby if you don't follow the advice of the health professionals are you happy to live with the blame?
30 or 40 years ago standards of living were completely different (how many had central heating) so you can't compare what your mum did to what you should do now.


This is all getting steered towards cot death which is off the point alittle its more about the idiosyncrasies of the basics of bringing up baby, you only had to see that stupid program about the 50s, 60s, and 70s methods.
#28
My own personal gripe is with parents who don't get their kids immunised, then send them to nursery with the measles to infect all the other children (including those under 15 months who hadn't had the mmr yet).....and for those who think "whats the fuss about measles?" it still kills and maims children.
#29
There's no substitute for experience and if you've already got a couple of tots or family nearby or friends with kids, it's easier to tell if 'advice' is sensible or not. Probably it's worth listening to the health care professionals if you can get hold of one for the basics. The advice seems too be very different now to when I had my kids. I think the huge difference is that the media have become hysterical about cot deaths, as well as the health professionals wanting to 'cover their own backs'.
Anyway, oriental'lilly watch out for those red traffic lights ( if you're anything like as useless driving when pregnant as I was) have a lovely birth and rant away as much as you like.:)

Love the Haynes manual!
#30
oriental*lilly
Hi, yes i have always offered my babies boiled water and with my first daughter the midwife advised a tiny bit of orange juice added as she was constipated, i bet they would have a fit if i said anything of the sort to a midwife now lol.


That still gets recommended - when my little girl who is 8 months old now was constipated they said about it!
I have to agree it's really annoying- what you can do , what you cant do changes every month and you dont know whether you coming goin or been!!
Midwife in one ear, your mum in another, the doctor advising stuff then your partners mum chipping in! It all got on top of me in the end and i basically just did what i felt right for my baby! I'm 22 and i felt people thought i didnt know much about bringing up a baby because my age so telling me that i should do it this way and not to be doing that! It did my head in - it has calmed down now thank god!
Think back to what our grannys did and how they brought up our parents they never had any of the facilities we have now!! :thinking:
#31
They still do advice boiled water and orange juice for constipation!!

As a nurse i can honestly say that any information that i give is totally given with the clients best interest, and i believe that that is the service i receive from health profesionals to my family.
The reasons information changes is because of the amount of research undertaken. Think of the death rates of children years ago, again just because one has not been personally affected does not mean that the advice given to you is not currently sound - maybe a touch inconvenient though.

So if family members, midwives etc question your parenting - do as you see fit with the knowledge available to you.
#32
Hi I myself have had 5 kids...ALL of my kids had cot bumpers, quilts and so forth. My oldest daughter had no end of stick from her midwife because she did as i did, she even sleeps my grandson on his tummy (as I did), so i think we have come to phase of overkill. Indeed I think by today rules i am lucky to have all my kids!! I even put woolly bonnets on my lot to make sure their ears didnt stick out, lol. .....Oh yes and they all had their bottles made up stored in fridge and then reheated. And my daughter is a nurse and has been for some years.
#33
"one of the responses was someone saying how new findings blah blah blah "

Well thanks, Oriental. Nice to know you appreciate me taking the time to reply to you.

If you re-read my post, (http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/154369/crib-bedding-set-best-price) all I was doing was alerting you that something you were thinking about puchasing is known to increase the risk of cot death. If that counts as 'blah blah blah' in your opinion, that says it all ....:whistling:
#34
what i found odd was when 1 of my 5 children was born he had to got to special care unit,when i went over to visit him(i had emergency section)
ALL babies were put to sleep on their fronts plus
hospitals dont use a NEW mattress with each baby
i have used same mattress for the last 3 of my children i have just washed it well
plus i only sterilise to 6 months and never sterilise spoons bowls etc
#35
hashman
the products we use have changed, therefore the warnings have changed.
You can't compare the lifestyle we had in the past to the one we lead today:
- The milk is produced from cows which don't have the same composition that they did in the past... we don't use the same water that we did in the past, thier composition has definately changed with all the chemicals.
We don't live in the same enviroment as we did in the past: global warming is not something new to anyone today, and doesn't seem to bother anyone either (scary!!)
(just a tip: about going out - you have the disposable sealed cartons with ready made milk: which are protected against bactaria)

... it is as obvious as all new diseases that are discovered on a daily basis, or new types of problems our world is faced with due to human evolution...
its genetics! we evolve on a daily basis... we mutate....
otherwise we'd all still be hanging on tree's...


or even better advice would be to feed your baby what is designed for your baby, ie human milk. :whistling:
#36
I know this is an old thread but I thought I would respond to this;

Another example now is my midwife recently told me how they discourage making bottles up in advance and refridgerating them for reasons of bacteria can form etc etc.. well i did for my other 2 children as have all my sisters and her mother, How on earth are we supposed to ever go out if we have to have bottles made fresh for every feed? Its just stupid and makes me so angry!
Ok rant over phewwww
They discourage it as it can cause your baby to get meningitis and septicemia

I personally filled up a thermos flask with hot water to take out with me and made the bottles fresh using that. You can also readily buy pre-made cartons of Baby Milk which are perfect to take out with you
#37
mummyspam1985
or even better advice would be to feed your baby what is designed for your baby, ie human milk. :whistling:


this isnt possible for everyone.
#38
mummyspam1985
or even better advice would be to feed your baby what is designed for your baby, ie human milk. :whistling:


bitseylango
this isnt possible for everyone.


no its not

i really wanted to breastfeed and couldnt as having her on my belly really hurt (emergency c section) and made me cry, also my bubba wouldnt latch on properly, i tried using the electric pump but it hurt so bad i couldnt do it after the 2nd time

when i got home there was loads of information on breastfeeding but none on bottle feeding which is wrong i dont like the way a midwife looks at you when you tell them your bottle feeding either:x
#39
ilovepink
no its not

i really wanted to breastfeed and couldnt as having her on my belly really hurt (emergency c section) and made me cry, also my bubba wouldnt latch on properly, i tried using the electric pump but it hurt so bad i couldnt do it after the 2nd time

when i got home there was loads of information on breastfeeding but none on bottle feeding which is wrong i dont like the way a midwife looks at you when you tell them your bottle feeding either:x


hi chick, sorry to hear your having problems, but please dont feel guilty or disheartened because you cant breastfeed. I was made to feel like a bad mother and actually ridiculed by one of the nurses after I had my eldest, who also would not latch on.
After having my second I tried but failed again and was told over and over again that it was best for my baby, but it was impossible.
After having the third by emergency section under general, with all the pain, I didnt even try to breastfeed and gave the midwife both barrells when she dared to question me.
For those that can and have breastfed, Im very happy for you if thats your choice and you are able to do so. But there are a lot of mothers out there that find it difficult and some find it impossible and many are made to feel guilty for that.
If you are happy and relaxed bottlefeeding, then in turn that will make your little one happy and relaxed and at the end of the day.........THAT is what is best for your baby x
#40
i agree! nothing more annoying than being preached to about breastfeeding, emotional times as it is without that :)

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