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Rules men must stick to

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Lets see how far we can go.... Read More
Starr Avatar
suspended7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
Lets see how far we can go....
Starr Avatar
suspended7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
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suspended#1
[B]Rule 1 Starr[/B]
Always leave 1 space at the urinal
Rule 2 MrGrumpyman
We will always be happy with the same thing every birthday and christmas
Rule 3 Faevilangel
Tell your partner what they want to hear, even if it means lieing
Rule 4 Starr
Never ever under any circumstances use an umbrella
Rule 5 Boothy
never abide by rules set by single men haters
Rule 6 Big-Boy
That you REALLY ARE interested in that dress / shoes / handbag she has just spunked all your hard earned money away buying
Rule 7 Landofdan
never give your girlfriend access to your phonebill
Rule 8 Trickyjabs
We must NOT consult a map when driving (Except when in the outside lane doing 90+mph), they are for the weak and unadventurous.
Rule 9 Trickyjabs
We must hog the remote control as they are complicated pieces of technology that women do not understand.
Rule 10 Mikebike
Always remember to never run out of chocolate at certain times in the month.
Rule 11 Mikebke
Cushions you will never understand them.
Rule 12 Micoo
You cant win an argument against a woman, so dont bother trying
Rule 13 Starr
Treat in-laws nicely, although you would like to punch someone in the back of the head
Rule 14 Starr
Birthday/xmas presents are done last minute. Half hour give or take allowed
Rule 15 Charlie Scene
See post lol
Rule 16 Fireheaven
No matter how happy you are, how much your team won by, that the hot girl smiled at you...............NEVER ever skip down the street.
Rule 17 ClarityOfMind
When dragged to supermarket the entertainment section is the first place you visit, try to spend as much time there as possible to get out of any shopping duties/basket carrying.
Rule 18 Charlie Scene
it doesnt matter if the rest of the house/flat is a tip as long as your CD collection is in alphabetical order
Rule 19 Charlie Scene
football / kids / wife - in that order
Rule 20 MikeBike
Don't ask did you iron my ( insert any clothing type)
Rule 21 MikeBike
Don't say How Much! when she tells you how much her new hair cut cost
Rule 22 Fireheaven
If you are asked "did you hear what I just said" think carefully before you answer as your response may be met with "go on then, what did I say"
Rule 23 Starr
Remeber her birthday, its no good in the phone/facebook as when she asks you randomly on the spot you wont have time to check.
Rule 24 Charlie Scene
when you ask me "what are you thinking about?" - nothing is an acceptable answer (rather than the truth - football,having super powers,cheryl cole,sex,your sister/friend,pizza,football.........)
Rule 25 Starr
You and your rather unlucky mate must never talk about that night he pulled a porker, however tempting it is to bring it up
Rule 26 FilthandFury
It's not cheating if they don't find out.
Rule 27 Charlie Scene
always make sure that there is at least one man drawer in the house(somewhere you can keep dead batteries,takeaway menus,spare lightbulbs,foreign money and of course the radiator key!)
Rule 28 Starr
The speed limit is not in fact a limit, but a target.
Rule 29 fireheaven
Anything said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become void after 7 days
Rule 30 Charlie Scene
when asked will you still love me if i get fat - reply by smacking her on the butt and shouting Feltzy!!!!
Rule 31 fireheaven
Crying is blackmail (or so I hear lol)
Rule 32 big-boy
when asked say: "Of course i'll still love and respect you tommorow"
Rule 33 ClarityofMind
When your girlfriend asks why the HELL did you pee in the teapot last time you visited her Mum.... think carefully before you deny it. Her mother has proof!!
Rule 34 FilthAndFurry
NEVER cross swords in a threesome.
Rule 35 FilthAndFurry
Never shirk when it's your round - people WILL remember.
Rule 36 FilthAndFurry
The Godfather IS the greatest film of all time.
Rule 37 Charlie Scene
quoting lines from films IS cool
Rule 38 jtx
Once in a relationship forget your mistakes. There's no point in two people remembering the same things.
Rule 39 ClarityofMind
When your underwear is dirty... turning it inside out is " good as new ". .
Rule 40 Charlie Scene
farting is only funny when we do it - when you do it its eeeuuuuwwwwwwwww!!!!
Rule 41 Charlie Scene
putting out the bins once a fortnight does count as helping around the house
Rule 42 Charlie Scene
it is perfectly acceptable to take the laptop into the toilet with you
Rule 43 fireheaven
Breast are for staring at, live with it
Rule 44 Charlie Scene
if you have a girlfriend/wife then breasts become under joint ownership
Rule 45 Starr
When you are ill it is officially man flu nothing else.
Rule 46 Starr
If your girlfriend thinks shes fat... she probably is, if your girlfriend thinks your fat shes over reacting.
Rule 47 Starr
Toilet seat must be left up, its a statement
Rule 48 Charlie Scene
it doesnt make you gay if you have sex that way!.
Rule 49 Treble99
You have to go to a strip club at least once in your life
Rule 50 ClarityofMind
If we break up.... your friends are "fair game".
Rule 51 JTX
The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360. End of story..
Rule 52 Starr
If a man has an itch, he shall scratch it. No matter time or place
Rule 53 jtx
The floor is an acceptable clothing storage location.
Rule 54 jtx
If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
Rule 55 Charlie Scene
we are always up for something new, but nothing is going near our butts .
Rule 56 Trickyjabs
Watching Porn is exercise.
Rule 57 Trickyjabs
When assembling flat pack furniture, theres meant to be atleast 7 screws left over.
Rule 58 DLM
Always agree to go to ikea to buy candles at least you will get to eat meatballs in the cafe
Rule 59 Syzable
After sexual intercourse..........it is the male law to expect some peace to go to sleep and not to chat as we have now lost interest and farting a lot is a sign of love as you feel comfortable with that person.
Rule 60 Rockhound
Dont let women near the BBQ.....its just wrong!! .
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banned#2
foreplay does not consist of

Fancy a bit?
#3
Uhm.. " doing the laundry" does not consist of letting your dirty clothes drop to the floor.
banned#4
Uhm.. " doing the laundry" does not consist of letting your dirty clothes drop to the floor.



are we sharing a hubby?

pmsl
#5
We will always be happy with the same thing every birthday and christmas :-D
#6
Tell your partner what they want to hear, even if it means lieing.

"does my bum look big in this?" No darling, it looks as good as it was 20 years ago
#7
MrGrumpyman
We will always be happy with the same thing every birthday and christmas :-D


We're still waiting for it, year after bloody year LOL
#8
uhmmm... " Looking after the kids" does NOT involve getting them off to sleep as fast as possible so you can play computer games all night long.
#9
toshapetriji
are we sharing a hubby?

pmsl


lol!!

"NEVER sleep with more than one woman at once";-)
banned#10
uhmmm... " Looking after the kids" does NOT involve getting them off to sleep as fast as possible so you can play computer games all night long.


Damn you´ve got him monday to thursday

I´ve got him friday thru sunday
suspended#11
Rule ??

Never ever under any circumstances use an umbrella
#12
toshapetriji
Damn you´ve got him monday to thursday

I´ve got him friday thru sunday


lmao!!!

How bout

Do not tell your wife " Yeah babe no worries I've done it, lets not worry about it eh..."

When you patently haven't done it and she has proof!
#13
Most important rule,never abide by rules set by single men haters

/thread
#14
That you REALLY ARE interested in that dress / shoes / handbag she has just spunked all your hard earned money away buying :x When infact she could be wearing a black binbag,carrying a dead rat and wearing cloggs for all I care :)
suspended#15
Sorry ladies must try harder if you want to get in post 2 :-D
banned#16
Rules men must stick to

Take a shower more than once a week wether you need it or not
#17
"having a romantic weekend away" does not involve getting totally drunk, peeing in all four corners of the hotel room, ripping the TV off the wall and disappearing before morning.
banned#18
Most important rule,never abide by rules set by single men haters

/thread


chill pill

me and COM love you
suspended#19
toshapetriji
Rules men must stick to

Take a shower more than once a week wether you need it or not


ClarityofMind
"having a romantic weekend away" does not involve getting totally drunk, peeing in all four corners of the hotel room, ripping the TV off the wall and disappearing before morning.


I think you two are missing the point here.... :?
This is not the rant about men thread, would you like me to create one for you :roll:
#20
toshapetriji
chill pill

me and COM love you


speak for yourself sweet stuff!!!!
#21
Starr
I think you two are missing the point here.... :?
This is not the rant about men thread, would you like me to create one for you :roll:


Me and Tosha, rant??? :roll:

okay then Jamesy :);-)
#22
never give your girlfriend access to your phonebill :-)
#23
toshapetriji
chill pill

me and COM love you


The feeling is not mutual,I dislike you both

good day
#24
landofdan
never give your girlfriend access to your phonebill :-)


lmao!!! :w00t:
banned#25
"having a romantic weekend away" does not involve getting totally drunk, peeing in all four corners of the hotel room, ripping the TV off the wall and disappearing before morning.


damn you

tell im to bring some milk and bread on is way back home please
banned#26

toshapetriji:
chill pill

me and COM love you
The feeling is not mutual

good day


still love you though
#27
toshapetriji
damn you

tell im to bring some milk and bread on is way back home please


:w00t:

I think Starr wants more simple rules.... :roll:

He isn't understanding our ones! ;-)
banned#28
toshapetriji
chill pill

me and COM love you


don't do drugs it makes you tell massive porkies :thumbsup:
#29
ClarityofMind
"having a romantic weekend away" does not involve getting totally drunk, peeing in all four corners of the hotel room, ripping the TV off the wall [COLOR="Red"]and disappearing before morning[/COLOR].


tsk, it's a man thing. See you don't understand these things we men MUST do :thinking:

and disappearing before morning ??? was it mutual or did he not pay :oops: in a richard gere stylie :whistling:
#30
Starr
[B]Rule 1 Starr[/B]
Always leave 1 space at the urinal
Rule 2 MrGrumpyman
We will always be happy with the same thing every birthday and christmas
Rule 3 Faevilangel
Tell your partner what they want to hear, even if it means lieing
Rule 4 Starr
Never ever under any circumstances use an umbrella
Rule 5 Boothy
never abide by rules set by single men haters
Rule 6 Big-Boy
That you REALLY ARE interested in that dress / shoes / handbag she has just spunked all your hard earned money away buying
Rule 7 Landofdan
never give your girlfriend access to your phonebill


I think you're biased hun ;-)
suspended#31
ClarityofMind
I think you're biased hun ;-)


Who me... in what way :whistling:
banned#32
I think Starr wants more simple rules....

He isn't understanding our ones


rule 1

womens are always right even when we is wrong

rule 2

ignore everything we say we will change our mind tomorrow


go on COM you do the next 2
#33
big-boy
tsk, it's a man thing. See you don't understand these things we men MUST do :thinking:

and disappearing before morning ??? was it mutual or did he not pay :oops: in a richard gere stylie :whistling:


lmao!! Tisk :)
#34
We must NOT consult a map when driving (Except when in the outside lane doing 90+mph), they are for the weak and unadventurous.

We must hog the remote control as they are complicated pieces of technology that women do not understand.
#35
toshapetriji
rule 1

womens are always right even when we is wrong

rule 2

ignore everything we say we will change our mind tomorrow


go on COM you do the next 2


lol!!!

uhmmm....

rule 3

Your last tenner for the week should NOT be spent on beer.

rule 4

With that big zit on your face I'm gonna need summin stronger than beer to tickle your tummy tonight, babe. :roll:
#36
I love that you have put rule 5 in...repped
1 Like #37
Always remember to never run out of chocolate at certain times in the month.
Its always your fault
Do not ask if apple green is white really
Cushions you will never understand them.
Empty the bin without being asked
#38
Rule:

You cant win an argument against a woman, so dont bother trying
banned#39
With that big zit on your face I'm gonna need summin stronger than beer to tickle your tummy tonight, babe.



yup you win

hahaha
banned#40
when men let off wind it´s a fart

when we let off wind it´s a botty cough

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