At a tobacco firm's research station somewhere in a secluded spot out in the countryside and away from prying eyes, two rabbits were sitting in the cages discussing their future.
'I don't know about you' said Alpha, 'but I can't stand this anymore. I'm going to see if I can break out and escape.'
'Sounds good to me' replied Beta, ' but how?'
'Well,' said Alpha, 'the next time they give us our last slice of lettuce before locking us up for the night, I'm going to get the monkeys to make one hell of a racket, distract the guard, and hopefully he'll forget to close our cages and we can sneak out'
And sure enough, that's exactly what happens. Just as the guard is feeding the rabbits just before locking up, the monkeys start screaming and throwing things from their cages causing the night guard to run over and see what was happening. The two rabbits, cage doors open, zoom out of their cages, run through the guard's legs and are gone.
They run and run until they can run no more, and lie there panting and wheezing and coughing before finally falling asleep. The next day, when the sun comes up, the most magnificent sight awaits them. They're in a field covered in alfalfa and dandelions just by a river on the other side of a farm full of grain, carrots and cauliflowers. In the distance they can see a rabbit warren full of the most beautiful female rabbits they've ever seen, and not a male in sight.
'Bloody hell!! says Alpha. We've died and gone to heaven! See? who wants to be stuck in that lab when we can have everything we´ve ever wanted?'
'Well I don't know about you' says Beta, looking distinctly nervous and wild eyed, 'but I'm going back right now!'
'What are you talking about?? We've got all the food we can eat, a warren full of beautiful women, the warm wind in our faces and all the fresh water we'll ever need, Are you crazy?'
'Not crazy' replies Beta, ' I'm dying for a smoke!!'