Saw this and it made me laugh! - HotUKDeals
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Saw this and it made me laugh!

mishmc81 Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
TO DO IS TO BE ......NIETZSCHE.


TO BE IS TO DO ...... KANT.


DO BE DO BE DO ..... SINATRA.
mishmc81 Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
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#1

Saw this and it made me laugh!



Really?
1 Like #2
Predikuesi
[/B]


Really?


A bit unfair coming from the person who posted this:

http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/148894/new-car-part-needed/

:whistling:
#3
Predikuesi
[/B]


Really?


Well yes, because it is funny.

Is there any need to be so rude?

Perhaps if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
#4
I have similar to this on a t-shirt, cant remember what mine said though :thinking:
#5
mishmc81;1618103
Well yes, because it is funny.

Is there any need to be so rude?

Perhaps if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.


Wasn't meant to be rude. Was simply asking a question. Now if you REALLY want me to be rude ........... :p
#6
Best I ever saw was on the T-Shirt of a rather large person::

"Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls"

:giggle:
#7
It's good ... and catchy and reminds you that you're only half way through 'Conjectures and Refutations' TO DO is TO DO and TO BE is TO BE
#8
I am with Predikuesi on this one

it should be DO BE DO BE DO BE....... DUCK's DISCO BUS
#9
I am what I am - Gloria Gaynor
#10
I'm Free- Roger Daltry
#11
57 channels and nothin' on - The Boss.
#12
Cogito ergo sum- I think therefore i am - Rene Descartes
1 Like #13
Predikuesi
Was meant to be rude. Was simply asking a question. Now if you REALLY want me to be rude ........... :p


I hope that is a typo!
#14
Naw not amused.
#15
REDRANGER86
Cogito ergo sum- I think therefore i am - Rene Descartes

Would have sounded better in French - bit more of a be do be do do swing to it.:-D
#16
mishmc81;1619927
I hope that is a typo!


:) Was a typo! Oh well!
#17
[COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]Actual call centre conversations !!!!![/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR][COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma]
Samsung Electronics[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma]
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
---------------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Tahoma]
RAC Motoring Services[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=fuchsia][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Tahoma]
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]
---------------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=teal][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
Directory Enquiries[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=teal][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]
---------------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=purple][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][/COLOR][COLOR=blue][FONT='Comic Sans MS']'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]
----------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]
---------------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=red][FONT=Tahoma]
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma]
----------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma] -------------------------------------------[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS']
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]---[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'] ing stupid to own a computer!!!!![/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
#18
Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????'


CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just **** in the carburettor' She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'


SPEEDING TICKET
a police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'


RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?' The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE on the other side.'


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.' The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, and then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; like wise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, 'you're not really a redhead, are you? 'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING
a highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!' 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'


[FONT='Times New Roman']IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is the vacuum on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs!'

[/FONT]
#19
[COLOR=#c20000][FONT=Verdana]7 reasons not to mess with children :[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#0021bf][FONT=Verdana]A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#0021bf][FONT=Verdana]The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana]A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana]The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana]Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#ff0080][FONT=Verdana]A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#ff8100][FONT=Verdana]The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#3f8080][FONT=Verdana]The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray "Take only ONE . God is watching."[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#3f8080][FONT=Verdana]Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."[/FONT][/COLOR]
#20
"TO BE IS TO DO ...... KANT"

I chuckled.
#21
[FONT=Arial Rounded MT Bold][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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