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School Dinner Question

libEL Avatar
6y, 8m agoPosted 6 years, 8 months ago
My daughter has a school dinner at lunchtime - main course, pudding and bread if she wants it.

She then has a dinner at home about 5.30/6pm, normally followed by yoghurt/fruit or maybe ice-cream.

She had a friend round to play tonight and her friend said she doesnt have 'another dinner' just toast or a sandwich and found it highly amusing that I was cooking Libby dinner.

Dd isnt overweight and I'm not concerned I'm feeding her too much but I never knew people took the school 'dinner' to mean their children didnt need a proper meal at home.

I had packed lunch at school and a dinner in the evening so never even thought about it!

What do you do if your child has a school dinner?
libEL Avatar
6y, 8m agoPosted 6 years, 8 months ago
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#1
I wouldnt worry about it - every family is different - stop stressing!!
#2
we always cook a meal for our two children, infact they are eating now
#3
when i was little i had school dinners then a big tea when i got home. my daughters do the same
#4
I always had both and so did everyone I knew and they werent fat at all!
Im 18, in my last year of sixth form and still have the same.

I wouldnt worry
#5
from what i remember school dinners weren't exactly huge anyway...............
banned#6
perhaps you shouldnt worry, perhaps your a better parent than the other daughter has!

keep cooking for your kids
#7
I think it depends on the family, if everyone has a cooked meal mid-day then no need to cook for the evening meal but if cooking in the evening then everyone has a evening cooked meal.
#8
Not worried :) Like I said dd is perfectly healthy and would probably be outraged if I didnt cook a meal for her in the evenings

I was just curious as to what was the 'norm' having never known people not to cook a meal for their child/children after school

thanks for replies
#9
My 9 year old son has school dinners, some nights he will have dinner again with us or sometimes just some toast. I wouldn't go out my way to cook him dinner again though if i was cooking for us.
#10
We always had a proper meal in the evening

Mum used to work with some children from more disadvantaged backgrounds though and a lot of them didnt have much else when they went home. They got their school meal free and then toast or crisps or something when they got home and that was it. Parents didnt have the money for another meal (or chose to spend the money in another way).

Some kids dont eat as much though, and it could just be that this child doesnt have a very big appetite?
#11
My kids are quite fussy, they may not eat much at school (not packed lunch so don't know how much they eat). When they come home at 4pm, first things first they get a proper meal, they seem to be hungry anyway, then fruits, youghurt, milk etc as the evening progresses. Youngest (3) is slightly underweight still.
#12
we always have a proper meal in the evening ( even though sometimes i'll just have soup myself). Sometimes my son has a packed lunch sometimes he has a school meal or eats out at lunch time. I just feel happier knowing he has had a decent meal as i he probably eats rubbish at lunch
#13
My son has school dinners and still always has a proper dinner at home. I don't expect that school dinners are large portions anyway and you don't know how much they have really eaten so I think it's better to give them a proper meal so at least you are sure they getting their vitamins and stuff, rather than relying on the school to do this :)
#14
Thinking about it, I dont know where we put all the food we had! Lol

We used to have big packed lunch (Sandwich, crisps, 2 pieces of fruit, cereal bar and something for a treat) piece of fruit at morning break. Went home and the first thing we said was we were starving! Had a snack then had a proper meal and usually had something afterwards!

There was nothing of us though! Probably because most of what we had was healthy and more than 5 portions of fruit/veg every day.

Dont think friends had as big an appetite, always got proper meals when I went to their houses though and it seemed the norm for them, just maybe not a snack first. Got proper meal if we went to any family members house too, so both sides of the family also give their kids a proper meal in the evening
#15
This reminds me of when I was younger (maybe 6 years old) - we used to have a cooked lunch at school and tea before going home and in summer my mother used to just put sandwiches on the dresser for our supper. I remember my brother and I moaning about this between ourselves, and being so nervous asking for a cooked supper! My mum laughed, hugged us, couldn't believe we were so worried about asking her and just thought we didn't want another large meal in the evenings. Anyway, from then on we had another main meal in the evenings and very happy tummys. I think for growing children, to have a warm freshly prepared meal with other members of the family is a lot better, plus it was a good time for my parents to instil good table manners for which I am very grateful.
#16
sickly sweet;8051324
This reminds me of when I was younger (maybe 6 years old) - we used to have a cooked lunch at school and tea before going home and in summer my mother used to just put sandwiches on the dresser for our supper. I remember my brother and I moaning about this between ourselves, and being so nervous asking for a cooked supper! My mum laughed, hugged us, couldn't believe we were so worried about asking her and just thought we didn't want another large meal in the evenings. Anyway, from then on we had another main meal in the evenings and very happy tummys. I think for growing children, to have a warm freshly prepared meal with other members of the family is a lot better, plus it was a good time for my parents to instil good table manners for which I am very grateful.


Aww...sweet story :-D
#17
jubbyme
perhaps you shouldnt worry, perhaps your a better parent than the other daughter has!

keep cooking for your kids


Whilst i understand your good intentions i think that is a little harsh on the other parent. The fact is these days we do eat too much of everything. If the child still goes to bed quite early it may make a difference to what sort of meal she gets as well.
I have always given my kids a cooked meal except in summer when quite often we have sandwiches etc. I am a housewife so could do either. My friend works full time and doesnt get home till nearly 6. Her son does lots of activities in the evenings so quite often he has sandwiches or such like rather than a cooked meal just so they can fit everything in.
I do not really think it matters whether its cooked or not just what goodness they are getting. My worry would be that the child may not even eat much of the school dinner so its nice to feed them veg etc at home.
#18
My 2 kids aged 4 and 7 normally have packed lunch at school so eat a main meal with us at dinnertime but sometimes on a Friday they will have hot school dinner so will then have lunch at dinnertime which they think is a real treat haha! They can eat it in the living room on the floor like a picnic and love it. But as i say its only occasionally on a Friday.
banned#19
@Goofeys Girl

luckily the other parent wont see what I have written, what I was trying to do was support the OP's decision to make sure their child has had for sure one good meal that day, and that they continue to cook for their child for a wide variety of reasons
#20
loobie
My 2 kids aged 4 and 7 normally have packed lunch at school so eat a main meal with us at dinnertime but sometimes on a Friday they will have hot school dinner so will then have lunch at dinnertime which they think is a real treat haha! They can eat it in the living room on the floor like a picnic and love it. But as i say its only occasionally on a Friday.


Lol, we used to have picnics in the garden, was basically the same thing we had in our lunchboxes every day but we got really excited!

Thats something I still remember fondly now
#21
jubbyme
@Goofeys Girl

luckily the other parent wont see what I have written, what I was trying to do was support the OP's decision to make sure their child has had for sure one good meal that day, and that they continue to cook for their child for a wide variety of reasons


lol, wouldnt say I am better than other parent, we just choose to do things differently :)

When daughters friend explained she never had a dinner at home on a school day I had this sudden feeling that I was in the minority, and although this wasnt worrying as I like my routine, I was curious to know others opinions.

I actually think that having a sandwich occasionally instead of a cooked meal would be great when fitting in with other stuff we have going on - but dont feel this would work for us unless I cooked a meal for me and ds at lunchtime!
#22
vinylandtrinkets
OP im just the same, my boy doesnt eat a lot for breakfast, pack lunch for school so i worry he's not eating enough so i always make a cooked meal for his tea around 5.30pm ish, then he can snack on fruit and stuff after that, during the weekends or holidays i always make 3 cooked meals a day he isnt over weight at all , healthy happy active lad so i wouldnt worry about your little one.

We had a couple of children in my sons class at school who only had the school meal and toast for breakfast, they had nothing at all for tea, were not allowed snacks, parents attitude was the school can feed em! they used to come to birthday parties and not leave the table for the entire 2/3 hours they were there with the parents watching and smiling ( cos they didnt have to feed the) both children are very sickly, really really underweight, under the care of ped's doctors as the parents are insistent that they have ADHD, Autism and the new one is Bi polar! both lack attention at home punished often for no reason . the School didnt care or even if they knew im not sure. they have now moved so i dont know what has happened to them


Thats extreme but I have to say I have witnessed similar, very sad

My kids are a nightmare at parties, they never eat anything except cakes/biscuits - I actually pleaded with dd to eat something at the party she went to few weeks ago as it was 4.30-7pm and I really didnt want her coming home and eating so late lol. She took no notice and informed me she had only had a cocktail sausage, fairy cake and some iced gems :roll:
#23
If my son has a hot meal at school then I don't give him a hot meal in the evening as the school meal he has is well balanced and plenty for his appertite. I would then give him a sandwich or beans on toast/jacket spud and a yoghurt some fruit etc.

On the whole he has a packed lunch at school and a hot meal in the evening as I tend to only do a hot meal at school when I know that my son doesn't like the meal me and my OH are having in the evening.

I see it as I wouldn't have 2 full hot cooked meals a day so why would I give my son them?
#24
vinylandtrinkets
We had a couple of children in my sons class at school who only had the school meal and toast for breakfast, they had nothing at all for tea, were not allowed snacks, parents attitude was the school can feed em! they used to come to birthday parties and not leave the table for the entire 2/3 hours they were there with the parents watching and smiling ( cos they didnt have to feed the) both children are very sickly, really really underweight, under the care of ped's doctors as the parents are insistent that they have ADHD, Autism and the new one is Bi polar! both lack attention at home punished often for no reason . the School didnt care or even if they knew im not sure. they have now moved so i dont know what has happened to them


Mum saw that all of the time in her job, maybe thats why we got so much!

Worst I saw was when I was in hospital, the child next to me was 3 and his mum was eating every one of his meals and giving him a bag of 10p crisps! They had to order the meals especially too because they were halal meals, and she kept asking for extra stuff like toast and stuff. Nurses didnt realise what she was doing. That went on the whole time we were both there, about 6 days, then I left and he was still there so I assume longer. We told the nurses in the end and they said they asked her about it and she denied it so there was nothing they could do
#25
jubbyme
@Goofeys Girl

luckily the other parent wont see what I have written, what I was trying to do was support the OP's decision to make sure their child has had for sure one good meal that day, and that they continue to cook for their child for a wide variety of reasons


Your right of course sorry, i think most of us would prefer to give a hot meal most of the time, that way you know what they are eating. My youngest used to eat so little of his dinner at school that eventually they called me in to discuss it. Think he was only eating the bread it turned out for a year i was wasting all my money. I also think its nice for everyone to sit round the table and eat but have to be honest we only tend to do that about half the time the rest is on trays etc.
banned#26
Goofeys Girl
Your right of course sorry, i think most of us would prefer to give a hot meal most of the time, that way you know what they are eating. My youngest used to eat so little of his dinner at school that eventually they called me in to discuss it. Think he was only eating the bread it turned out for a year i was wasting all my money. I also think its nice for everyone to sit round the table and eat but have to be honest we only tend to do that about half the time the rest is on trays etc.


Im glad we didnt get off on the wrong foot :thumbsup:

i still remember my mother cooking for me, and family meals, and think it is good to instil all that into children

thank you GG
#27
My daughter has a hot meal at school everyday then a snack when she gets in then a hot dinner and then fruit and a yogurt before bed not overweight at all in fact cant work out where she puts it
Cant believe some of the storys above shocking that some people think its the school s responsibility to feed there own children
#28
i dont think mine would let me not give them a proper evening meal lol I love them going to be with a belly full of nice warm food its so cold at the moment its nice

Mine get breakfast, snack at school, a school dinner, then snack at home, then tea and a pudding and sometimes a supper, depending the times of the above. neither are over weight.
banned#29
My son has a cooked meal at school and a sandwich or pasta when he gets home. We don't have our own main meal of the evening until 6-7 anyway so at that time it would be too late for him to eat with us as his bedtime is 7.
banned#30
master_chief
My son has a cooked meal at school and a sandwich or pasta when he gets home. We don't have our own main meal of the evening until 6-7 anyway so at that time it would be too late for him to eat with us as his bedtime is 7.


you bad bad parent


















thats what happens here, toast, sandwich, pasta, noodles etc,etc
#31
I think it is good that you have a cooked meal with the children not only are they being fed properly but it is a good time to spend time reflecting on what everyone has done in the day, as most times this is the only time all the family would get to chat together, what with other activities/homework, baths etc, I think it is something that is becoming less popular and I think it is the one thing that should be done in every household.
banned#32
vickywil5
I think it is good that you have a cooked meal with the children not only are they being fed properly but it is a good time to spend time reflecting on what everyone has done in the day, as most times this is the only time all the family would get to chat together, what with other activities/homework, baths etc, I think it is something that is becoming less popular and I think it is the one thing that should be done in every household.


you dont have to have a cooked meal to sit around the table as a family, we do that with every meal:?
banned#33
vickywil5
I think it is good that you have a cooked meal with the children not only are they being fed properly but it is a good time to spend time reflecting on what everyone has done in the day, as most times this is the only time all the family would get to chat together, what with other activities/homework, baths etc, I think it is something that is becoming less popular and I think it is the one thing that should be done in every household.


I'd rather my child concentrated on eating his dinner than talking to us. I prefer to have a catch up when I see him as soon as he's back from school/i'm back from work etc. I like to make a bit of time for him on an evening and not rely on a sit down meal to do so.
#34
My niece and nephew are 6 and 13,they both have a school lunch and a cooked meal at home,like others have said they'd be appalled(well the 13 yr old would be lol) if they had a sandwich or toast for their evening meal on a regular basis.
#35
sassie
you dont have to have a cooked meal to sit around the table as a family, we do that with every meal:?


Yes but of a morning it is a bit rush rush with the school run and such, and if your child is in school having lunch then you can't then can you. And I know it hasn't got to just be at meal times but when you have 5 children all liking to do different activities and having to help all 5 of them with homework it seems to me that I only really get a chance to sit and talk whilst having dinner, except on weekends and school holidays
#36
We had breakfast
Then free school dinners but mum would give us a packed lunch just in case
And we'd come home to a cooked tea

We were healthy children lol
banned#37
vickywil5
Yes but of a morning it is a bit rush rush with the school run and such, and if your child is in school having lunch then you can't then can you. And I know it hasn't got to just be at meal times but when you have 5 children all liking to do different activities and having to help all 5 of them with homework it seems to me that I only really get a chance to sit and talk whilst having dinner, except on weekends and school holidays


what i meant is, it doesnt matter what your eating, we eat at the table no matter whether its a butty, toast, pasta or a "cooked meal"
1 Like #38
I love us all sitting at the table

My 2 are still quite young at 6 and 3 but I think its teaching them good table manners as well as us all being able to have time where we are together to have a 'proper' chat. Other times all seem a bit manic at times and although it seems like we are always talking we have our better conversations at the table I feel :-D

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