A man walked up to a little old lady rocking in a chair on her porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look", he said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day", she said. "I do a gram of
charlie a day, a spliff every night, a case of whiskey a week, eat
junk food, never exercise, and do pills on the weekend".
"That's amazing", said the man, "how old are you?"