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Sharing the cost of living

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I have a question for those who live with a partner; both partners are in paid employment and they have a mortgage or rent to pay. How do you sort out the rent/mortgage payments? What arrangement… Read More
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banned6y, 2m agoPosted 6 years, 2 months ago
I have a question for those who live with a partner; both partners are in paid employment and they have a mortgage or rent to pay.

How do you sort out the rent/mortgage payments? What arrangement do you have in place for a fair sharing of this cost?
What if one of you earns significantly more than the other thus negating a 50/50 split of the payments?
Perhaps one of you pays for the mortgage/rent while the other pays for the weekly shopping?

Interested in knowing what arrangements you have in place and how you came to these arrangements.
Does it work?
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banned6y, 2m agoPosted 6 years, 2 months ago
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#1
We agreed to pay 50/50 but I put more in out of personal choice as I earn 30% more. Direct debits from our own bank accounts to a joint account. Out of the joint account goes all the rent, bills and weekends away/holiday costs.

Personal things we use our own money from our individual bank accounts. It works very well.



Edited By: super_leeds_86 on Feb 18, 2011 12:47
4 Likes #2
everything into joint account, that's it.
banned 5 Likes #3
Depends on the relationship.
I've been with my partner for 8 years. Everything goes into one pot and she spends it. X)

I'm fine with that.

Used to do the 50/50 thing with my previous partner (on her request) but it never worked.
If you really love someone, you should put 100% into it and that means everything (including money).
#4
put all your money together pay all the bills whats left at the end of the month split 50/50
1 Like #5
JonnyTwoToes
Depends on the relationship.
I've been with my partner for 8 years. Everything goes into one pot and she spends it. X)

I'm fine with that.

Used to do the 50/50 thing with my previous partner (on her request) but it never worked.
If you really love someone, you should put 100% into it and that means everything (including money).


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_RwdH5DTKRas/S7M7XExVPOI/AAAAAAAACzU/e22VseTa38o/s1600/whipped.jpg

On a serious note, we put 50/50 in for bills etc, then the rest of the money is ours to spend however we want.
#6
Pay into a joint account depending on earnings.

Use joint account to pay for all household bills including car servicing, fuel and holidays.
banned#7
cannyscot
Pay into a joint account depending on earnings.

Use joint account to pay for all household bills including car servicing, fuel and holidays.


Is the old adage true that Scots are tight with their cash?
2 Likes #8
50/50 doesn't work because no relationship is 50/50 especially if you have a family, what money we have is the family's.
banned 1 Like #9
We just have all the bills, mortgage etc come out of OH's account and I pay shopping and anything else. We don't have any sort of 50/50 split over the spare money. It's there for either of us to use when we want.
banned#10
Alfonse
50/50 doesn't work because no relationship is 50/50 especially if you have a family, what money we have is the family's.

Have to agree with this, certainly if there are kids. Not sure how well it applies for childless couples though.
#11
We agree to pay £1100 each into a joint account. that covers all bills and mortgage

It's ove but it build up so we can save for upgrades / festival tickets.

We then keep the rest so it doesn;t matter if one is on more that the other!

If we got married we would probably keep it that way because it;s good to have you own space me thinks. We share food and petty but have considered paying a bit more into the jopint account and putting petty and food on that so it's deffo fair. I don;t care really as long as I have enough for a few nights out and a nerd toy i'm happy!
#12
we used to split all the bills 50/50 and what was left we spent on what we each wanted...then when the kids arrived and i went to work part time, all the money we earn goes into one pot, bills are paid and what's left is our spending money. neither of us spend excessively more that the other, he has his interests and I have mine and we each respect that.
1 Like #13
i know one guy who is a dentist and earns shed loads, his gf has been unemplyed for a while so he been paying all the mortgage, so he been back to change the ownership or something on the house....

so its a big deal to some ppl. husband pays for everything in the house....to be honest if i got job i wouldnt have to pay squat anyways....a)it wouldnt be much b) muslim women, whatever u earn is urs to spend as u wish....blokes job to run and feed the family! woop woop!!
banned#14
hartlyhare
we used to split all the bills 50/50 and what was left we spent on what we each wanted...then when the kids arrived and i went to work part time, all the money we earn goes into one pot, bills are paid and what's left is our spending money. neither of us spend excessively more that the other, he has his interests and I have mine and we each respect that.


Yeah we currently do 50/50 and anything left we spend on our selves or save (she earns more) but she's taking 9 months out of work so we'll probably be taking the same route.

My grandparents used to do the same but my grandad would pay my grandma £250 per month for house keeping, and now they are both retired he still does it :D She was working as a teacher at the same time.

Edited By: lumoruk on Feb 18, 2011 13:43
#15
we have seperate accounts, hubby earns about 200 more than me a month - my wages pay all bills except rent, his wage pays rent, whats left of his wage we use for everyday use and shopping - none of this 'my money your money' thing going on that way !!
#16
depends if you are grown up as well as old enough to live with someone
banned 2 Likes #17
The husband giving the wife an allowance is surely outdated now? If still in use it has to be a form of control.
#18
With my wife and I, I put all my money in to our joint account, this is used to cover mortgage, bills, food shopping etc.

We then use her wage for disposable income
banned#19
magicbeans
husband pays for everything in the house....to be honest if i got job i wouldnt have to pay squat anyways....a)it wouldnt be much b) muslim women, whatever u earn is urs to spend as u wish....blokes job to run and feed the family! woop woop!!
Do you feel this is still applicable in a society where a divorced/seperated woman has entitlements and the law on her side to ensure she gets something after a split?
banned#20
Problem I've got is my income has always been higher than my wife's, despite several change of employers for both of us over the years.
She has her own account into which her income is paid.
We also have a join account into which my income goes.
I do not have my own account.

The mortgage and the bulk of the expenditure comes out of the joint account.
She will often do the shopping from her own account.

The arguement used is that it is my role to provide a roof over our heads and it is her role to look after the well being of those living under that roof.

I'm a little uncertain about this arrangement. I'm not asking for a 50/50 split as currently my income is about 5 times greater than hers as she has gone part time. However, it's the overall principal that worries me; I have no access to her income but she has full access to mine.

Thoughts?
banned 2 Likes #21
Villa
Problem I've got is my income has always been higher than my wife's, despite several change of employers for both of us over the years.
She has her own account into which her income is paid.
We also have a join account into which my income goes.
I do not have my own account.

The mortgage and the bulk of the expenditure comes out of the joint account.
She will often do the shopping from her own account.

The arguement used is that it is my role to provide a roof over our heads and it is her role to look after the well being of those living under that roof.

I'm a little uncertain about this arrangement. I'm not asking for a 50/50 split as currently my income is about 5 times greater than hers as she has gone part time. However, it's the overall principal that worries me; I have no access to her income but she has full access to mine.

Thoughts?


Nah, that way of living is a million years old.
Both earn money, both have money paid into joint account. Simple.

There shouldn't be any of this "its the blokes job to do this and the woman's job to do the other".
If you've got doubts that she should be spending 'your' money then you've got to look at the relationship.

Money I earn is my partners as well as mine and vice versa. It is 'our' money, regardless of who puts what in.

Team work, that's what it's all about.

Edited By: JonnyTwoToes on Feb 18, 2011 15:03
#22
Villa
Problem I've got is my income has always been higher than my wife's, despite several change of employers for both of us over the years.She has her own account into which her income is paid.We also have a join account into which my income goes.I do not have my own account.The mortgage and the bulk of the expenditure comes out of the joint account.She will often do the shopping from her own account.The arguement used is that it is my role to provide a roof over our heads and it is her role to look after the well being of those living under that roof.I'm a little uncertain about this arrangement. I'm not asking for a 50/50 split as currently my income is about 5 times greater than hers as she has gone part time. However, it's the overall principal that worries me; I have no access to her income but she has full access to mine.Thoughts?


Woman after my own heart..............whats your is hers and whats hers is her own X)..( joking ) doesnt sound like to badder arrangment tbh , my hubbys wages go into my account as i am the one who sorts the finances /shopping etc and he doesnt complain ( he darent , lol ) but then again he has access to my account and uses card when neccessary .
#23
Alfonse
50/50 doesn't work because no relationship is 50/50 especially if you have a family, what money we have is the family's.


Have to agree with this. I earn more than my missus as she works less hours but looks after the kids/house more. The money we earn is the family money.

I have a friend whose partner goes on two orthree holidays a year without my friend as she earns more than him. Personally I would rather pay for my partner to go with me rather than leave them at home just because they earn less
#24
Villa
Problem I've got is my income has always been higher than my wife's, despite several change of employers for both of us over the years.
She has her own account into which her income is paid.
We also have a join account into which my income goes.
I do not have my own account.

The mortgage and the bulk of the expenditure comes out of the joint account.
She will often do the shopping from her own account.

The arguement used is that it is my role to provide a roof over our heads and it is her role to look after the well being of those living under that roof.

I'm a little uncertain about this arrangement. I'm not asking for a 50/50 split as currently my income is about 5 times greater than hers as she has gone part time. However, it's the overall principal that worries me; I have no access to her income but she has full access to mine.

Thoughts?


open your own account and only put enough money into the joint account to cover the bills!
#25
We pay sort of pro rata to what we earn with our own accounts both of us hate joint accounts.

works well for us and you can always treat each other and surprise each other a lot easier

Edited By: Marty1981 on Feb 18, 2011 15:23
#26
Villa
magicbeans
husband pays for everything in the house....to be honest if i got job i wouldnt have to pay squat anyways....a)it wouldnt be much b) muslim women, whatever u earn is urs to spend as u wish....blokes job to run and feed the family! woop woop!!

Do you feel this is still applicable in a society where a divorced/seperated woman has entitlements and the law on her side to ensure she gets something after a split?


Mine does not work as well (neither is she on benefit)....... I pay all the Bills every single one and Pay wife a monthly allowance to spend on whatever she want plus I pay for all other expenses separately. eg. clothes, Shoes, jewellery etc....

Its all depends on who you are married to etc....neither myself or the wife are materialistic so we dont have a problem....
#27
My OH owns this house, he used to rent out rooms before I live here so I pay the rent that they would of paid. We split all shopping, days out etc straight down the middle. I pay for all the childcare as my son is not his.

With my ex we split everything down the middle even though he heard a good 10k more than me. Wonder why he is my ex?!
#28
I think once you have kids. if one person stays at home their job is to look after the kids, if you main earner feels they are paying mores and not liking it then i'd suggest you pay her a wage as she is looking after the kids! It's a job that you would pay somebody else to do!

Maybe you need to have an account where you can have your own money in!

however it seems like the money isn't the problam, sounds like something has happened and there is a trust issue! otherwise why would you care thats she has a private bit and you don't surely if you said she would let you see it and not be bothered? I dunno seems this is a bit strange!

Come on tell us were al here to support you! :0
1 Like #29
Do you have kids? how long have been together?
2 Likes #30
Shellywelly
My OH owns this house, he used to rent out rooms before I live here so I pay the rent that they would of paid. We split all shopping, days out etc straight down the middle. I pay for all the childcare as my son is not his.

With my ex we split everything down the middle even though he heard a good 10k more than me. Wonder why he is my ex?!


Shouldn't your son be his as well now? You are jointly responsible for him now.

As for the question, its all our money it goes in one pot but we have separate paypal accounts to cover surprises :)
#31
I think if kids are in the relationship then everything should go into a large pot. My circumstance is different and as such I've worked for my half so therefore I spend it as I see fit. She does the same with hers. If she wants to spend it on shoes and clothes and I spend it on motorbikes, football tickets etc then so be it. A family scenario is different to a young couple without kids or a mortgage (just rent) scenario.
1 Like #32
Open a personal account and pay your salary into that.
Work out your annual expenses and divide by 12 to get the monthly amount that needs to be paid in to your joint account. (This should include food and fuel costs, holidays etc.)
Decide between you how much of your salary you will each pay into the joint account so that there is a bit extra for emergencies.
Leave some (a small amount) of money in each personal account for personal use.
Review every 3 months to begin with then annually thereafter.
banned#33
cannyscot
Open a personal account and pay your salary into that.Work out your annual expenses and divide by 12 to get the monthly amount that needs to be paid in to your joint account. (This should include food and fuel costs, holidays etc.)Decide between you how much of your salary you will each pay into the joint account so that there is a bit extra for emergencies.Leave some (a small amount) of money in each personal account for personal use.Review every 3 months to begin with then annually thereafter.
Sounds interesting.
banned#34
Laffy42
Do you have kids? how long have been together?
Yes and 15 years
banned#35
TheOvenglove
however it seems like the money isn't the problam, sounds like something has happened and there is a trust issue! otherwise why would you care thats she has a private bit and you don't surely if you said she would let you see it and not be bothered? I dunno seems this is a bit strange!Come on tell us were al here to support you! :0
She feels that if her money goes into her own account she can spend it however she sees fit without having to justify it.
I've often stated that there should only be the one (joint) account and all our incomes should go into this and anything we buy comes out of this including personal luxuries.
suspended#36
before the kids when i was working me and my partner had our own accounts that wages were paid into. we then had a joint account for the house, worked out how much we needed in there to cover the months bills/food etc plus a bit extra and split that amount 50/50. now im at home with the kids partner puts the majority in, i put my little it in too. this way you each have your own money, but also the essentials are taken care of too.
2 Likes #37
Villa
She feels that if her money goes into her own account she can spend it however she sees fit without having to justify it.
I've often stated that there should only be the one (joint) account and all our incomes should go into this and anything we buy comes out of this including personal luxuries.


We have a joint account that all earnings go into, and all bills are paid from. We also have personal separate accounts and each get a 'pocket money' allowance paid into them every month from the joint account to spend on whatever we like - maybe this would help?
banned#38
We agree to pay £400 each into a joint account. that covers all bills, food shopping, mortgage and 3 holidays per year.

works great
#39
Don't give your wife access to your cash, are you mad ??

Get a joint account. If you earn more than her, agree on a ratio of household payments (I.e 80:20 if you earn way more than her). All bills then come out of such account & whatever is left, you have sole access to.

If you want to pay when you go out for meals etc, that's fine, but do it from your own personal cash/account.
#40
csiman
We agree to pay £400 each into a joint account. that covers all bills, food shopping, mortgage and 3 holidays per year.

works great


How?? We pay £1000 each pm into an account & it JUST covers mortgage, household bills & food shopping.

Edited By: ChrisUK on Feb 20, 2011 09:14

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