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Should I Apologise?

goss.man Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
Hi Again,

Question, yesterday I had a bit of a clash with a work colleague over something pretty trivial.... Il explain.

Basically a server I maintain had a change made that has basically messed up all functionality and I need to role it back until a few network changes can be made.

The problem is the that this colleague was adamant and spoke like "No!, It cant be done, the old server is used elsewhere, we cant role back not possible, you will need to change all your other servers to get it working again".

Some of the above I find fair but the fact of changing all my other servers is not a 2 second job it needs alot of planning and system downtime plus we need to spend money getting a 3rd party in to help.

I basically said the above which he took offence to and walked off saying "Well im only trying to help" then ignored me from then on.

Now is it me in the wrong or him?

I am quite strong opinionated so I just assumed that was the end of it and all would be fine tomorrow but this morning he said to another colleague that I was rude to him yesterday so he doesn't want to do anything for me (So it sounds like hes taken it to heart).

Any suggestions anyone?

Cheers
Dan
goss.man Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
If i was you i would apologise no matter who was at fault just to clear the air and end the matter.
#2
seems like the guy was being a little over-sensitive to me! from how you describe it, it sounds like he was the one being harsh to you!
#3
he sounds like a right sensitive one getting so angry with u and telling other people!!
i wouldnt apologise.... u didnt try and offend him ... it was purely work related... if he is gonna take offence let it be...

if it was me id confornt him and say i heard u r saying i was rude to u... well that was not my intention...

now u could be mean and say ' next time u have a problem with me id prefer u spoke to me and not everyone int he ofice'

but the sensible and mature thing would be

'anyways i didnt mean to offend you personally. i hope we are ok'.

imho of course!
#4
dmissy13
If i was you i would apologise no matter who was at fault just to clear the air and end the matter.


Yes I agree same,maybe he having a bad day too and got a bit shirty with you.
Afterall this is work,and you will see him all time there so best clear things up.
#5
How can I approach him in the office though without alerting everyone?

He is about 20 years older than me and is highly stressed at work because a lot of people depend on him.

I find it difficult talking to people about issues like this anyway but approaching my senior just seems backward to me :?
#6
email him?
#7
do you have internal email?
#8
Yes we have internal email but Id rather not put it in an email and be apologising because that could be used against me at APR's etc. If its verbal and they raise it then I can put my side across where as if they get an email they may not ask as they can see im apologising already.

Hopefully that makes sense
#9
Just remember, you are employed to do a job, just like him. If things go wrong, it happens, remember you are only doing the job to the best of your abilities.
If he has a problem with it, it is HIS problem not yours.
I am sure you get on well other collegues so they will assume he's exagerating his conversation with you!
#10
Don't apologise, call it a misunderstanding
#11
Office disputes can be as petty as any marital spat. You can either apologise, or you could appease him. Sounds like he took umbridge over your dismissal of his advice, maybee if you asked him for help/advice about something else, it might stroke his ego enough to forget about it ...
#12
I would approach him,when there are no or very few people around and ask if you could talk in private.
Who was right or wrong is not the issue,but explain that you have heard that what was said about you being rude and that it was never your intention to be rude and that you are sorry it was interpreted that way.Let him also know that you respect his opinion even if you may not always agree with it......differences of opinion will always happen in the workplace but they are not worth falling out over.

Good Luck,I am sure it will sort itself out.:)
#13
goss.man
How can I approach him in the office though without alerting everyone?
[COLOR="DarkRed"]Tea/coffee/snack - check if he wants one when you're going to get yourself one, in a 'no big deal' sort of way. When you take it to him, ask for a quiet word to 'clear the air'. [/COLOR]


I find it difficult talking to people about issues like this anyway but approaching my senior just seems backward to me :?

[COLOR="darkred"]Tricky I know but IMO you'll fell better if you make the effort.[/COLOR]
#14
sounds like a sensitive soul! and a bitch too for telling other people!

Tell him he's too soft and not to take things to heart as much, be the "strong one"

I'd just call him a "soft bitch and to grow up and stop being a baby" but I'm quite insensitive sometimes!

by the way your in the right but by looks of it you have a guilty concience as you've opened this thread. Kind of like how women try and make you feel when footballs on and they want you to go shopping!
#15
Sounds a bit of a sensitive type, Buy him a pint and punch him on the arm, and tell him to get a grip.
#16
super_leeds_86
sounds like a sensitive soul! and a bitch too for telling other people!

Tell him he's too soft and not to take things to heart as much, be the "strong one"

I'd just call him a "soft bitch and to grow up and stop being a baby" but I'm quite insensitive sometimes!

by the way your in the right but by looks of it you have a guilty concience as you've opened this thread. Kind of like how women try and make you feel when footballs on and they want you to go shopping!

This advice is likely to lead to a disciplinary! (And I prefer football to shopping!)
#17
DKLS
Sounds a bit of a sensitive type, Buy him a pint and punch him on the arm, and tell him to get a grip.

.ditto!
#18
hahhaaha depends if u wanna get along, if u couldnt care less and dont really speak to him anyway i wouldnt bother.
#19
super_leeds_86
sounds like a sensitive soul! and a bitch too for telling other people!

Tell him he's too soft and not to take things to heart as much, be the "strong one"

I'd just call him a "soft bitch and to grow up and stop being a baby" but I'm quite insensitive sometimes!

by the way your in the right but by looks of it you have a guilty concience as you've opened this thread. Kind of like how women try and make you feel when footballs on and they want you to go shopping!

How many groups of society are you ticking off here. :x Good job you've got the saving grace of supporting the only team worth supporting!!:)

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