3 women in a pub start talking about their husbands. First one says I call mine the dentist, no one can drill like he does. Second woman giggled, I call mine a miner because he's got a big shaft. Number 3 frowned, I call mine the postman because he comes so early and half the time he sticks it in the wrong box!
A blonde wife is painting the house. The husband walks in and can't believe she's doing so well. But he has to ask her why she is wearing a leather jacket and a parka. She replies, "HELLO! Read the tin. It says for best results put on two coats."
A couple are sitting up waitingfor their 16yr old son to come home. He comes in with a big smile on his face. "Hi Mum, Dad guess what? I've just had sex for the first time and it was great!". His dad says "that great son! To celebrate I'll buy you that bike you wanted but you'll have to wait til payday." "Thats ok Dad, I can't ride it yet, my arse is still sore!"