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So All Single Parents

snowflake Avatar
7y, 4m agoPosted 7 years, 4 months ago
I've been a single parent for a while now and work as hard as I can, Just wondered how many of you out there are single parents and find it difficult both financially and emotionally?
snowflake Avatar
7y, 4m agoPosted 7 years, 4 months ago
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1 Like #1
I have been a single parent and it is such hard work sometimes, both emotionally and financially. But at the end of the day when your kids hug you and tell you they love you it is all worth it :)

Try and focus on the positives like this when your having a bad day or things feel particulary tough, thats what I used to do
1 Like #2
oh i feel for you, im not a single parent, but god knows how i would cope if i was, it must be so hard, my hubby works 70 hrs a week while im on maternity leave with no pay, and we are only just coping financially with 1 wage, sometimes can feel a bit mad coz i only have a 3yr old and 10 month old to talk to all day but wouldnt change me kids for the world i love spending time with them but i also have the emotional support of my hubby,
1 Like #3
I'm not but I know quite a few - bot single dads and mums.

My mate brings up his 3 daughters alone and says he wouldn't change a single thing.
1 Like #4
I'm not a single parent, but both my wife and I work opposite shifts so that we can accomodate childcare. The kids ane now 5 and 22 months and we've got by seeing each other for 1 and a half full days off a month for over 5 years now. I know it's not the same situation,, but being with the kids for 13+ hours a day alone is difficult.
#5
Thanks guys xx I have two teenage boys and they are so expensive lol but so confrontational as well and it's a really difficult time in life to be a single parent, I would have found it so much easier if they were 10 years younger. Financially they cost me every spare penny I have, and I don't have much of them, and emotionally, I never seem to have any time to myself, it's not like I can tell them to go to bed even anymore at their age!
1 Like #6
I've got a 4 and 5 year old and threw their dad out when my youngest was about 6 months old. It's incredibly hard at times, especially as my youngest has a disability and my mum moved abroad 7 years ago, but when I remember why I threw their dad out in the first place, and when I see how happy both of my 2 are and how well they are both doing, it reminds me that it's all worth it and I wouldn't have things any other way :thumbsup:
#7
snowflake
Thanks guys xx I have two teenage boys and they are so expensive lol but so confrontational as well and it's a really difficult time in life to be a single parent, I would have found it so much easier if they were 10 years younger. Financially they cost me every spare penny I have, and I don't have much of them, and emotionally, I never seem to have any time to myself, it's not like I can tell them to go to bed even anymore at their age!


Im dreading when my boys become teenagers !!! Nothing worse than argumentative kids, My 3 yr old is a nightmare now, dont listen to a thing i say so god only knows what he will be like when hes the same age as ur kids x
1 Like #8
im a single mum of 3, it is hard work sometimes, dont think most appreciate that, make sure you get time for yourself, its important
#9
not thatt hard for me as i earn 300k a year.

It is tough emotionly tho, i does make me stronger.

Wish you all the best :)
#10
I'm one too my x hubby decided he wasn't happy blow the kids n me. Two years I've been on my own and at first due to depression I couldn't cherish the joy from my kids but now I do when I hear my kids laugh the warmth radiates out. It wasn't until I was out of the relationship I realized what an awful life me n the kids were living with an abusive partner. I can say it does get lonely at times but when I get hugs n kisses from my kids it's all worth it I wouldn't go back to the life we were leading for anything or anyone. You just have to accept you have good days and bad days and learn to shrug the bad ones off x
#11
vikkiwathall
Im dreading when my boys become teenagers !!! Nothing worse than argumentative kids, My 3 yr old is a nightmare now, dont listen to a thing i say so god only knows what he will be like when hes the same age as ur kids x



Lol, well luckily the oldest (16) is the most erm 'negotiable' one lets say, so they fight and the eldest can settle it, usually without violence, however, my point is they are so big now my voice no longer has any impact, and the discipline can no longer be 'early to bed' 'no pocket money' etc as they are pretty much earning what they need paper rounds etc
Best trick I found is to unplug the router so they have no PS3 / Internet and Ive started to do that just so they cant sit up for hours on end, they dont figure it as I just pull the plug out of the wall slightly. It's just a constant battle of minds and ways and means lol
#12
black gerbil1
not thatt hard for me as i earn 300k a year.

It is tough emotionly tho, i does make me stronger.

Wish you all the best :)


I'm pleased for you BG1 and glad you happy, cheers for the good wishes bud ;-)
#13
It would be nice to try and make some time for yourself OP, I imagine it is hard with 2 teenagers but even an hour or so might do you good. They are at a hard age, my little girl was young at the time and so much more lovey and don't talk back like teenagers do! But be proud of what you are doing and the hard work you are putting in every single day xx
#14
black gerbil1
not thatt hard for me as i earn 300k a year.

It is tough emotionly tho, i does make me stronger.

Wish you all the best :)


300k? Is that all. My head Au pair clears that
#15
snowflake
Thanks guys xx I have two teenage boys and they are so expensive lol but so confrontational as well and it's a really difficult time in life to be a single parent, I would have found it so much easier if they were 10 years younger. Financially they cost me every spare penny I have, and I don't have much of them, and emotionally, I never seem to have any time to myself, it's not like I can tell them to go to bed even anymore at their age!


It won't be too long before they are good young blokes, spoiling their best mate mum, looking after her and treating her to a glass of wine or two then will it?
#16
karaokecolin
It won't be too long before they are good young blokes, spoiling their best mate mum, looking after her and treating her to a glass of wine or two then will it?


Yup. You get out what you put in, as a man said somewhere:thumbsup:
#17
karaokecolin
It won't be too long before they are good young blokes, spoiling their best mate mum, looking after her and treating her to a glass of wine or two then will it?


I hope not, but somehow can't ever imagine that! :roll:
#18
snowflake
I hope not, but somehow can't ever imagine that! :roll:


it wont be long till they leaving lol, im 18 leaving home was THE best day of my life LOL
#19
micoo
it wont be long till they leaving lol, im 18 leaving home was THE best day of my life LOL


My two are almost 14 and 16 and a half, and they keep telling me they wont be leaving home until they get married lol, they know that winds me up lol :?
#20
snowflake
My two are almost 14 and 16 and a half, and they keep telling me they wont be leaving home until they get married lol, they know that winds me up lol :?


oh lawd
#21
I'm a single mum and have been since the start, I did go through some very difficult financial times but the hardest thing I find is never having a break... my son is 3 and I think it is hard to understand how difficult it is not to have a break at all. I have had about an hour off looking after him in the last couple of months.

It is also quite difficult not to be isolated as once my son is in bed I am on my own most evenings, I found this very difficult to deal with at the start.
#22
snowflake
My two are almost 14 and 16 and a half, and they keep telling me they wont be leaving home until they get married lol, they know that winds me up lol :?


Hiya snowy hun...let me know if you got my msg will ya please xx
#23
StudentJo
I'm a single mum and have been since the start, I did go through some very difficult financial times but the hardest thing I find is never having a break... my son is 3 and I think it is hard to understand how difficult it is not to have a break at all. I have had about an hour off looking after him in the last couple of months.

It is also quite difficult not to be isolated as once my son is in bed I am on my own most evenings, I found this very difficult to deal with at the start.



Yep I relate to that completely, they have no contact with their dad whatsoever (their choice) so I never get a break, I have no parents etc so its me and them 24/7 and it's difficult, there just is no 'me' time ever, not that they'd mind if i went off for a weekend or anything like that, but i just couldn't ever afford to do that :?
#24
Rockhound
Hiya snowy hun...let me know if you got my msg will ya please xx


Did do Rock xxxx Good to see you hun ;-)
#25
snowflake
Yep I relate to that completely, they have no contact with their dad whatsoever (their choice) so I never get a break, I have no parents etc so its me and them 24/7 and it's difficult, there just is no 'me' time ever, not that they'd mind if i went off for a weekend or anything like that, but i just couldn't ever afford to do that :?


Yea me too except it was his dad's choice. I live near my parents but they don't really babysit or anything. I think what I find difficult is that I don't have any freedom to do anything myself.. a hobby or anything. I kind of feel a bit stuck because I'm never really going to meet a fella or anything because I never socialise except with other people with kids (who are generally women or their partners).
#26
StudentJo
Yea me too except it was his dad's choice. I live near my parents but they don't really babysit or anything. I think what I find difficult is that I don't have any freedom to do anything myself.. a hobby or anything. I kind of feel a bit stuck because[B] I'm never really going to meet a fella [/B]or anything because I never socialise except with other people with kids (who are generally women or their partners).


helllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooo :whistling: :lol:
#27
micoo
helllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooo :whistling: :lol:


LOL :thumbsup:
#28
castortroy
300k? Is that all. My head Au pair clears that


Don't feed the Troll.

Do NOT feed the Troll . . .

Good luck to the OP. Afraid all I can do is to wish you well.
If you were our friend, we would go out of our way to give you some space, come round for coffee / meal / just sit and talk grown-up talk etc.
#29
black gerbil1
not thatt hard for me as i earn 300k a year.

It is tough emotionly tho, i does make me stronger.

Wish you all the best :)

300k a year is nothing i earn just under 5 billion or maybe something a little less:thumbsup:
#30
I brought up my three on my own and I do empathise - it's really hard work especially if you work as well. All I can say is it doesn't last forever and one day you'll be looking back and wondering where the time went. As for the financial side it's really hard work. I was a student when my then husband left me and I had to look after all of us, get a degree and build a career, all as a single parent. It's really hard work but really worth it in the end. I hope things go well for you - I really do. xx
#31
karaokecolin
It won't be too long before they are good young blokes, spoiling their best mate mum, looking after her and treating her to a glass of wine or two then will it?


This is definately going to happen snow, trust me x

I know where you are coming from with regards to the constant battles with teenagers, totally drains me at times and Im married. I try to switch off but seldom do :roll:
Just know that you are doing the very best you can for them, as you are, they will know this and appreciate as they get older.......Im sure they know it now, but being lads they dont know how to express their gratitude, but they will xx

This text was sent to me after my eldest moved out, after years of teenage tantrums and arguements.....still makes me smile now and a little tearful.....

"Standing here on my balcony, I can honestly say I'm so happy to be where I am, I've got nearly everything in life I ever wanted right now and more, I just wanted to thank you, I love you mum x"
#32
Susannah
I brought up my three on my own and I do empathise - it's really hard work especially if you work as well. All I can say is it doesn't last forever and one day you'll be looking back and wondering where the time went. As for the financial side it's really hard work. I was a student when my then husband left me and I had to look after all of us, get a degree and build a career, all as a single parent. It's really hard work but really worth it in the end. I hope things go well for you - I really do. xx


That's what happened to me, it is good to know you have succeeded in building a career, it is a long struggle so far!
#33
Jumpingphil
Oh well, one single Dad in this thread.
I have two daughters, one just turned 13 ( a nightmare ) and one just turned 9. ( not such a nightmare. )
Both live with me and have done for the last 7 years since their Mum walked out.
Very hard work, and very hard to have "adult" conversations. ( And no I don't mean smutty stuff, I mean talking with peeps my own age ).


That's what I struggle with, I think that is what make it feel isolating, it is unusual to find an actual single dad.
#34
StudentJo
That's what happened to me, it is good to know you have succeeded in building a career, it is a long struggle so far!

It really is a struggle and I suppose all I did was keep going. I didn't have a giant plan or anything like that, I just did what seemed the best at the time and it worked out. I used to look at parents with older kids and wish that mine were that bit older like theirs, only to find that, when they were, the problems they brought were just as difficult, just different. As for teenagers, it amazes me I got through that and we're all still talking. We argued loads about everything and,.as others have mentioned also, I had no-one to talk to about this. It was one long grind, but worth it when I look back now.
I also hated it that single parents got and still do get such bad press. Do these people know how hard it is?
Good luck to all single parents everywhere.
#35
Susannah
It really is a struggle and I suppose all I did was keep going. I didn't have a giant plan or anything like that, I just did what seemed the best at the time and it worked out. I used to look at parents with older kids and wish that mine were that bit older like theirs, only to find that, when they were, the problems they brought were just as difficult, just different. As for teenagers, it amazes me I got through that and we're all still talking. We argued loads about everything and,.as others have mentioned also, I had no-one to talk to about this. It was one long grind, but worth it when I look back now.
I also hated it that single parents got and still do get such bad press. Do these people know how hard it is?
Good luck to all single parents everywhere.


Me too! Who plans to be in this situation? I think it has got easier for me recently because when my son was teeny he had reflux so didn't sleep at all and was sick loads... I think a newborn is at least a 2 person job without loads of extra washing and crying lol. Ironically all my friends who are now having kids as couples have got really easy babies who sleep 12 hours grrrr.

Luckily though my son is very sociable so is looking forward to spending more time in preschool next year, and I will be embarking on a teaching course. I am hoping that because I have got a boy the teenage years won't be too bad.. I used to have terrible rows with my parents and my brother seemed to just cruise through his teens with no major battles... might be wishful thinking though :?
#36
Susannah
It really is a struggle and I suppose all I did was keep going. I didn't have a giant plan or anything like that, I just did what seemed the best at the time and it worked out. I used to look at parents with older kids and wish that mine were that bit older like theirs, only to find that, when they were, the problems they brought were just as difficult, just different. As for teenagers, it amazes me I got through that and we're all still talking. We argued loads about everything and,.as others have mentioned also, I had no-one to talk to about this. It was one long grind, but worth it when I look back now.
I also hated it that single parents got and still do get such bad press. Do these people know how hard it is?
Good luck to all single parents everywhere.


Thanks hun, there's nothing easy about what we do unfortunately not enough people recognise that x
#37
StudentJo
Me too! Who plans to be in this situation? I think it has got easier for me recently because when my son was teeny he had reflux so didn't sleep at all and was sick loads... I think a newborn is at least a 2 person job without loads of extra washing and crying lol. Ironically all my friends who are now having kids as couples have got really easy babies who sleep 12 hours grrrr.

Luckily though my son is very sociable so is looking forward to spending more time in preschool next year, and I will be embarking on a teaching course. I am hoping that because I have got a boy the teenage years won't be too bad.. I used to have terrible rows with my parents and my brother seemed to just cruise through his teens with no major battles... might be wishful thinking though :?

I went into teaching and have never regretted it - plus makes the holiday thing easier..... My daughters were nightmare teenagers but my son was easier. Maybe boys are.........

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