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So I'm allowing the House go Repo

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As many of you know,me and my ex seperated in the Summer. We only bought a house which got completed mid July,a few days after getting the keys,we had an arguement and he announced he had feelings fo… Read More
Mum2ConnornCerys Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
As many of you know,me and my ex seperated in the Summer.
We only bought a house which got completed mid July,a few days after getting the keys,we had an arguement and he announced he had feelings for another. He later denied it several hours later and said he said it to make me jealous etc.

Anyway weeks went on and we eventually moved house and he got colder towards me and more arguements followed,I had enough and told him not to bother coming back home after work. Several weeks later he moved out and into a private rented flat.

I've been trying keep mortgage payments going for the past few mths,he been pestering me for cash for his share of the house as we went 50/50. I would be ok not having his share if he paid half the mortgage each mth but he can't afford to.
It was agreed I would pay him back most of his original deposit but to do this I would be about 100K in debt with the mortgage and borrowing of cash. He found out he would have solicitor fees to pay to put share across and started moaning about it.
I'm now fed up of him so now I'm not going bother borrowing some cash off a friend to pay him off a large lump sum,aswell as giving him £500 a mth to make up his deposit for the next year or so.
Anyway,I said keep the share of the house,I'm not giving you any money as it's putting me and children in hardship and I'm already taking on the mortgage each mth. He saying when youngest one gets to 18 he force me to sell up through courts, and then he will want half the sale.
This really not on as he will not have paid a penny more into it.
I will then have to move out of what been my home for a long time,so I'm just not paying anymore into it now and moving out into my parents into the New Year.
Mum2ConnornCerys Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
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#1
Good decision, time to move on with your life :thumbsup:
#2
Have you had legal advice on this? I'm surprised that he doesn't have to pay anything into it.

Also, if you can prove that you have paid the mortgage solely for years and years I would have thought that would give you entitlement to a greater share of the house. I may be incredibly naive but it's worth looking into.

Sorry if you've already checked that out, it's just if the same thing happened between me and my OH I would make him pay to keep his children in our home, particularly as you did nothing wrong.

Anyway, if that's your decision, good luck xxx
#3
Hope it all works out for you. :)
#4
zannaz82
Have you had legal advice on this? I'm surprised that he doesn't have to pay anything into it.

Also, if you can prove that you have paid the mortgage solely for years and years I would have thought that would give you entitlement to a greater share of the house. I may be incredibly naive but it's worth looking into.

Sorry if you've already checked that out, it's just if the same thing happened between me and my OH I would make him pay to keep his children in our home, particularly as you did nothing wrong.

Anyway, if that's your decision, good luck xxx


I've been to see solicitor and all that,whichever way I go I hit brick wall.
I've also suggested to him he put his share over in kids names and I would too as the house would be for them when I'm no longer here but he not having any of it. In long run he just doing it to spite me.
banned#5
girls need to be sly like guys are ...

we guys know in an instant if the girl is playing ... girls dont ... blonde?maybe
#6
Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.
#7
torres88
girls need to be sly like guys are ...

we guys know in an instant if the girl is playing ... girls dont ... blonde?maybe


What total ********.
#8
kidcat
Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.


Also they'll both be landed with a massive debt and nothing to show for it.
#9
kidcat
Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.


I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be expecting more than he put in.

He should do the right thing by the children and hand over his share.
banned#10
kidcat
Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.


Where do you expect the kid to live?

Mite be a good idea, if she wants to go back to her mum house to live.
#11
torres88
girls need to be sly like guys are ...

we guys know in an instant if the girl is playing ... girls dont ... blonde?maybe


He only known her for a few wks when the 1st argument started,it's not like it went on on for ages and ages. He said when we broken up they just friends etc but thats not the case. He's told me himself he's now sleeping with her since he got his flat,he's 34,she's 16,maybe she 17 anytime dunno.
#12
torres88
Where do you expect the kid to live?

Mite be a good idea, if she wants to go back to her mum house to live.


We moving into my parents,that's most likely option at moment,I've lived away from home since 17 but am fed up of being blackmailed over the house.
#13
Mum2Connor&Cerys
I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be expecting more than he put in.

He should do the right thing by the children and hand over his share.


It will cost you alot less to in selling fees than the fees for a repossession, not to mention the debt you will have afterwards to cover any shortfall. My friend had to sell her house as part of her divorce and because her ex had to sign all papers relating to the sale he became jointly liable for the estate agents fees etc. So she paid her share and he had to pay his, if he hadnt paid the agents chase him.
As for the payments to the mortgage company while you wait for it to sell, my friend was advised to make her half of the payments directly and give the mortgage comapny the exs details to chase him for his half, fortunately she didnt need to do this cos it sold quite quickly. But she was able to prove she had been paying the mortgage solo and his share was reduced by amount she had contributed IYKWIM.
banned#14
Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively on her and her childrens' lives?

You decide.
1 Like #15
FilthAndFurry
Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively on her and her childrens' lives?

You decide.


Of course she isnt, she is a mother on her own trying to do the best she can for her kids while the father is able to walk away from his responsibilities. She is very hurt and rightfully so, she needs support and good advice not snide comments.
banned#16
kidcat;7128640
Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.

^^this
Shengis;7128649
Also they'll both be landed with a massive debt and nothing to show for it.

^^this
kidcat;7128733
It will cost you alot less to in selling fees than the fees for a repossession, not to mention the debt you will have afterwards to cover any shortfall. My friend had to sell her house as part of her divorce and because her ex had to sign all papers relating to the sale he became jointly liable for the estate agents fees etc. So she paid her share and he had to pay his, if he hadnt paid the agents chase him.
As for the payments to the mortgage company while you wait for it to sell, my friend was advised to make her half of the payments directly and give the mortgage comapny the exs details to chase him for his half, fortunately she didnt need to do this cos it sold quite quickly. But she was able to prove she had been paying the mortgage solo and his share was reduced by amount she had contributed IYKWIM.


good example

Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128652
I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be expecting more than he put in.

He should do the right thing by the children and hand over his share.


yes but lets be honest...this isnt about the children....
Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128670
He only known her for a few wks when the 1st argument started,it's not like it went on on for ages and ages. He said when we broken up they just friends etc but thats not the case. He's told me himself he's now sleeping with her since he got his flat,he's 34,she's 16,maybe she 17 anytime dunno.


its about this!


This is all being done to get back at your ex for cheating...ok your angry but your kids should come first and you are hurting everyone to hurt him. Your own pettiness is just as bad as his


sorry I know you want to hear 'your doing the right thing hun xxx' but I aint gonna lie....
banned#17
you reaqlly are gonna be losing here, why on earth let it reposessed, have you spoken to your mortgage company, at least get them to freeze everything whilst you sell the house, im sure there are other options open to you here
#18
FilthAndFurry
Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively on her and her childrens' lives?

You decide.


I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the mortgage me paying it anyway and it's not right he comes along and claims half in 18yrs time and then I be having to move then anyway.
banned#19
Mum2Connor&Cerys
I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the mortgage me paying it anyway and it's not right he comes along and claims half in 18yrs time and then I be having to move then anyway.


you deal with through a solicitor and get everything drawn up now, not in 18 yrs, and who is to say things wont change for you in 18 yrs, i think your making a big mistake
#20
i can't believe he would be so selfish :x doesn't he realise how it's going to affect the kids :x
#21
sassie
you reaqlly are gonna be losing here, why on earth let it reposessed, have you spoken to your mortgage company, at least get them to freeze everything whilst you sell the house, im sure there are other options open to you here


Got a lot on with other stuff so I don't want anymore hassle.
I was willing to get myself into more debt to pay him off for his share but he started moaning about paying solicitor fees so I said well you simple can't be trusted now so we'll leave it like that.
#22
sassie
you deal with through a solicitor and get everything drawn up now, not in 18 yrs, and who is to say things wont change for you in 18 yrs, i think your making a big mistake


He knows what he wants in 18yrs time,wants half the house with paying a penny into it all.
I've had enough of his dictating,it's all his done for the past mths.
banned#23
Mum2Connor&Cerys
Got a lot on with other stuff so I don't want anymore hassle.
I was willing to get myself into more debt to pay him off for his share but he started moaning about paying solicitor fees so I said well you simple can't be trusted now so we'll leave it like that.


well its yours and the childrens future and it seems you cant be assed which is fair enough, but really pees me off when you do not have to deal with it, thats what solictors are for, playing games now is pretty stupid on both parts
#24
ODB_69;7128806
^^this

^^this


good example



yes but lets be honest...this isnt about the children....


its about this!


This is all being done to get back at your ex for cheating...ok your angry but your kids should come first and you are hurting everyone to hurt him. Your own pettiness is just as bad as his


sorry I know you want to hear 'your doing the right thing hun xxx' but I aint gonna lie....


so you don't think he should pay his share of the mortgage? :? i think he's scum for not supporting his kids :x
banned#25
ODB_69

sorry I know you want to hear 'your doing the right thing hun xxx' .


This:thumbsup:
banned#26
Mum2Connor&Cerys
He knows what he wants in 18yrs time,wants half the house with paying a penny into it all.
I've had enough of his dictating,it's all his done for the past mths.


he aint dictating anything you dont want him to, had you spoke to a solicitor you would know this
banned#27
Mum2Connor&Cerys

I've had enough of his dictating,
#28
sassie
well its yours and the childrens future and it seems you cant be assed which is fair enough, but really pees me off when you do not have to deal with it, thats what solictors are for, playing games now is pretty stupid on both parts


I've been back and forth with solicitors,no other way.
He should be paying half into,simple as that,isn't so he should pass share over.
#29
Can someone confirm this is another man hate/spurned single mum thread or is the OP wanting genuine advice?
banned#30
boothy
Can someone confirm this is another man hate thread or is the OP wanting genuine advice?


good call.. I would say both :w00t:
#31
He wouldnt be entitled to half the house in 18 years time, you would be able to prove no contribution so he would get back what he put in plus a percentage of the price rise, at this point you could sit in the house not give him a penny back and then in a couple of years sell it and give him his deposit and bit on top.
banned#32
Mum2Connor&Cerys
I've been back and forth with solicitors,no other way.
He should be paying half into,simple as that,isn't so he should pass share over.


if he leaves he does not have to pay half, if it is a joint mortgage you are both responsible, change solicitor and get one that knows what there talking about, stop being a victim, stand up to what is right for you and your children
#33
dog_cop
good call.. I would say both :w00t:


in b4 people give advice that she doesn't want to hear and spams her thread


edit:too late
#34
Mum2Connor&Cerys
I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the mortgage me paying it anyway and it's not right he comes along and claims half in 18yrs time and then I be having to move then anyway.

He will not be able to claim half the value of the house if he hasn't been paying the mortgage.He will be entitled to his share of the dposit but that will be it.If he pays half the mortgage then in 18 years,fair enough,he will be entitled,but from what you have said that is not going to happen.

Can you afford the mortgage on your own?If you can I would seriously consider keeping the house as that will be a better option long term for both you and your children.

Is there a way that you could extend the mortgage by the amount he paid in deposit?
banned#35
boothy
in b4 people give advice that she doesn't want to hear and spams her thread


edit:too late


un subscribed .. :thumbsup:
#36
sassie
if he leaves he does not have to pay half, if it is a joint mortgage you are both responsible, change solicitor and get one that knows what there talking about, stop being a victim, stand up to what is right for you and your children

What Sassie says:thumbsup:
#37
muckypup;7128921
What Sassie says:thumbsup:

i agree :thumbsup:
#38
ITT: Parent puts themselves before their kids.:roll:
banned#39
cheerleader;7128858
so you don't think he should pay his share of the mortgage? :? i think he's scum for not supporting his kids :x


not at all what im saying...this whole thing isnt about that
its a joint mortgage he is entitled to what he paid in back.....
this isnt about the kids....its about a petty argument
#40
boothy
Can someone confirm this is another man hate/spurned single mum thread or is the OP wanting genuine advice?


Not wanting any advice really,I've had all advice of solicitors.

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