Number One Idiot of 2008.
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
Poison control centre..
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
Daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
Harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
That she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
Number Two Idiot of 2008.
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
A life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.. It turned out that the
Chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated
When the raft was inflated..
They are no longer employed at Boeing..
Number Three Idiot of 2008.
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of Queensland, walked into the
Branch and wrote this. 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing
In line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
Someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
Reached the teller's window.. So he left the Bank and crossed the street
To the NAB Bank.. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
Note to the teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
Brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his
Stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip
And that he would either have to fill out a NASB deposit slip or go back
To Bank of Queensland ..
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left..
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
The Bank of Queensland ..
Number Four Idiot of 2008.
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
Measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.. He later
Received in the mail a ticket for $140 and a photo of his car... Instead
Of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $140..
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
Another picture, this time of handcuffs.. He immediately mailed in his
Number Five Idiot of 2008.
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
Of the cash from the cash drawer..
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf..
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
Refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
Because she didn't believe him..
At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet
And gave it to the clerk..
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
She put the Scotch in the bag.. The robber then ran from the store with
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
The robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two
Idiot Number Six of 2008.
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers..
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the
Startled first bandit shot him..
Idiot Number Seven of 2008.
Perth WA .. Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided
That he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some
Booze, and run.. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at
The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
Store window was made of Flexi-Glass. .
The whole event was caught on videotape..
(Please note that all of the above people are
Allowed to vote)
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the
Local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Cattle Crossing sign on our road..
The reason: 'Too many Cattle are being hit by cars out here! I don't
Think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore'
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.. She asked
the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg..
He was a Chef ?? Yep...From Surfers Paradise Qld !!!
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know??'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Melbourne Vic..
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine.. She
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for..
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red..
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
She was a probation officer in Adelaide SA..
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a send-off luncheon for an old and dear co-worker..
She was leaving the company due to' down sizing.'
Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more
Not another word was spoken.. We all just looked at each other with
When my husband and I arrived at an car dealership to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it..
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door..
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already got that side.' This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo NSW..