Sorry, Can't help myself - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HotUKDeals, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HotUKDeals app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Sorry, Can't help myself

£0.00 @
FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN by Dave Barry 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one wo…
WantOne Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

FINAL Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
WantOne Avatar
8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
Options

All Comments

(7) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
banned 1 Like #1
one thing i learnt during the week dont take prescibed strong hayfever tablets and alchol cant even remember driving my car home?:-D
#2
Very good, and soo true! x
#3
RFC
one thing i learnt during the week dont take prescibed strong hayfever tablets and alchol cant even remember driving my car home?:-D


U & me both

:whistling:
#4
First one would be a nice prank to do to someone.
banned#5
Abvance
First one would be a nice prank to do to someone.


done it on stag do its funny but not nice for the cleaners it was all over him lol
#6
thanks - much better than watching euro 2008
#7
:thumbsup:

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Looking for Twitter login?
Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!