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Statistics state that single parent children are more likely to develop behavioral problems than ones with both parents...

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So do you think this is utter rubbish or just science fact? I know quite a few single parents with lovely happy children but on the flip side, a friend, who works as a school counselor for troubled ch… Read More
ei8hty5ive Avatar
6y, 10m agoPosted 6 years, 10 months ago
So do you think this is utter rubbish or just science fact? I know quite a few single parents with lovely happy children but on the flip side, a friend, who works as a school counselor for troubled children, says it is the majority of single parent children that cause most of the trouble. So if marriage breaks down, would it be better to stay together "for thee sake of the children"? What's more when labour was in power, there were fewer marriages and more divorces than ever...could this have contributed to what the press call "broken britain"?
ei8hty5ive Avatar
6y, 10m agoPosted 6 years, 10 months ago
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banned#1
Sky, blue.

Water, wet.

Fire, hot.
#2
absolute and utter tosh!! i'm a single parent and my two girls are polite, clever and honest. the children who seem to be the naughtiest at my daughters primary school are from two parent families.
my eldest won acheiver of the year at her secondary school and is top of the class for most subjects.
#3
missp27
absolute and utter tosh!! i'm a single parent and my two girls are polite, clever and honest. the children who seem to be the naughtiest at my daughters primary school are from two parent families.my eldest won acheiver of the year at her secondary school and is top of the class for most subjects.

Well done to her! You must be so proud! :)
#4
Marina
missp27
absolute and utter tosh!! i'm a single parent and my two girls are polite, clever and honest. the children who seem to be the naughtiest at my daughters primary school are from two parent families.my eldest won acheiver of the year at her secondary school and is top of the class for most subjects.
Well done to her! You must be so proud! :)

aw thanks :) i really am, don't know where she gets her brains from, lol!
#5
It has nothing to do with it! It is down to the parents yes, and the way the child is brought up
banned#6
It doesn't say it is a certain indicator, it suggests behavioural problems may be 'more likely', and in my own experience I'd say that was true.

I'd also say people who wait to have kids will probably be better parents. I can't understand teenagers having kids.
#7
Will if statistics say that it's true then it's true. Unless someone made them up then there is no real disputing it is there. Stating that you know of occurences that its the other way around doesn't mean anything, not when the overall statistic is the opposite.
#8
FilthAndFurry
It doesn't say it is a certain indicator, it suggests behavioural problems may be 'more likely', and in my own experience I'd say that was true.

I'd also say people who wait to have kids will probably be better parents. I can't understand teenagers having kids.


You are onto something there...so could it be that the behavioral problems could be from just bad parenting and even if that child was brought up with both parents he/she would have been just as.likely to be troubled?
#9
So do you think this is utter rubbish or just science fact?


The latter.
This sort of "story" appeals to single parents who think it means that their child will have behavioural problems. They don't have the attention span to read and understand the stats.

Slow news day.
#10
I don't really know how to word what I am thinking so please no-one take offence, just putting my opinion out there.

While these statistics may be true, in that a majority of children who have behavioural problems are those from single parent families - but it may not be because they are from single parent families that they have these problems.
I expect that a significant amount of single parent families are those with 'council estate' mentality where the kids are left to drag themselves up - this is what may result in the higher rate of behavioural problems

Edited By: Mrs.Z on Jul 26, 2010 03:59: mistake
#11
tinkerbell28
Hmm I'd agree with it tbh. It does not say all single parents are bad, or they are all bringing up ferral kids.

What it does say is children of single parents are more likely to have behavioural issues.

That is probably true over all when you take into account socioeconomic factors.


Well that's a more professional way of stating what I was trying to say :D
suspended#12
I agree 100%. My mum was a single parent and i am no way normal, it had affected me just being around females most of my life x
banned#13
Tinkytayls
I agree 100%. My mum was a single parent and i am no way normal, it had affected me just being around females most of my life x


tell me more ;)
#14
i am not from a council estate and my children have a fantastic male role model in my father. i think it's wrong to tar every single parent with the same brush. i didn't choose to be in this position. i was married but sadly it wasn't to be. just because i am single i am no worse a parent than any of you, i am extremely pround of how my two girls have turned out.
#15
I think its more with one parent a different style of parenting is automatic, its not that a single parent is better or worse but the children seek slightly different outside resources, some may be overachivers, some may be troublemakers etc just to fill the gap of not having a second parent.

So thats why it seems that the single parent child may have problems.

The only single parent kids I notice have some problems are the ones that are around their early teens when say parents split up as the girls especially seem to want father figures when finding a partner.
#16
missp27
i am not from a council estate and my children have a fantastic male role model in my father. i think it's wrong to tar every single parent with the same brush. i didn't choose to be in this position. i was married but sadly it wasn't to be. just because i am single i am no worse a parent than any of you, i am extremely pround of how my two girls have turned out.


Nothing says you won't raise your kids to be good outstanding citizens, just some statistician has noticed that single parent families tend to produce offspring more likely to have problems. It's like saying men between 18-21 are more likely to suffer an std. Just beacuse it's more probable no-one is saying that all 18-21 years are riddled with syphillus.

I'm from a single parent family with no male role model and me and my bro have 4 degrees between us, never been in trouble and we're not completely socially inept.
banned#17
Miss P, no need to be so defensive...no one is saying all single parents, it's just more likely that bad behaviour can occur in single parent children
banned#18
As the single parents getting their knickers in a twist, it's not all of you it's just more likely!!

Its just common sense that a single parent household would find it more difficult to bring up a child which could affect a child. Things like less money due to single income, not being around due to work, not having father/mother figures around, the child not even knowing the father/mother. This doesn't happen in every situation but common sense suggests its easier to bring up a child with both parents thus less chance of problems.
#19
there is something that people forget its more about the people and experiences you have around you that often shape and determine who you are!

affluence does have an impact to a certain degree but ultimately its up to the individual to move forward with their life often for kids that means going out there with other kids and experimenting!
banned#20
Yeah sounds like common sense to me. Also the majority of single parents are a bit chavvy, not all, but most!
#21
master_chief
Yeah sounds like common sense to me. Also the majority of single parents are a bit chavvy, not all, but most!


yup, but sometimes it does make you look twice when you have the chavvy youngsters or kids and there seems to be a lack of control over the kids, however it is a class thing and i do believe classes still do exist in society but the more society fractures when it comes to family ties and relations the worse it is ging to get!
#22
I think theres still a 'stigma' that because a child has a lone parent then they are not getting' brought up properly' which in some cases is sadly true , but its also 'sadly true ' that there can be two idiots ( mother and father) bringing there kids up wrong ( my neighbours are good examples !!) there kids are sooo lucky, they get to learn twice the amount of swear words, breathe in twice the amount of smoke ! have twice the amount of so called adult friends of theres to join in !!! X)

Personally i think the statistics may be higher for lone parents having 'difficult ' children as some of these poor kids have maybe had to witness arguing , violence, abuse before there parents did split up /divorce and that could be more the stem of there behaviour, the after affects of having two 'unhappy ' parents !!! and in some cases then yeh, theres trollops who just let there kids run wild ! but again you dont have to be single to do this !!,
#23
Think its more likely kids from a family, where mom and dad stay together then argue constantly, are gonna be in more trouble than single parent family IMO.
#24
missp27
absolute and utter tosh!! i'm a single parent and my two girls are polite, clever and honest. the children who seem to be the naughtiest at my daughters primary school are from two parent families.
my eldest won acheiver of the year at her secondary school and is top of the class for most subjects.


Well Done to your daughter btw, you must be very proud!
#25
thesaint

This sort of "story" appeals to single parents who think it means that their child will have behavioural problems. They don't have the attention span to read and understand the stats.

Slow news day.

missp27
just because i am single i am no worse a parent than any of you, i am extremely pround of how my two girls have turned out.
#26
There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

I think it is utter rubbish, and I don't think anyone with that kind of biased opinion should be working as a school counselor.

I am a single parent and none of my teenagers has ever drunk alcohol, smoked or taken drugs. My eldest has just been accepted on a course to do a funded phd. I think they are doing ok.
I split up with my ex for the sake of my children - they are far better off in a calm, happy house with one parent than they ever were in a miserable house with 2.
#27
dont know if the statistics are true but I think alot of single parent over-compensate and let their child run rings round them partly cause they feel bad (about no father being around) and partly cause its hard raising a kid on your own, they also get a restricted adult imput, unless you have a lot of other family, the more people your child learns from the better

not to mention that if the father is involved then you have the child living in 2 different houses, at some point being confused about where they actually belong. Everything that happens to you in life has an impact on what you child will be, some bad things can turn into good points (like deciding not to turn out like their bad parent) and somethings can good things can turn into bad points just the same, you can never really raise the perfect child the perfect way, most of us mums, single parents or not, are just doing our best to raise our children, and anyone who thinks otherwise doesnt have a clue

Edited By: tracyhay on Jul 26, 2010 05:05: ?
#28
Butterbean
There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

I think it is utter rubbish, and I don't think anyone with that kind of biased opinion should be working as a school counselor.

I am a single parent and none of my teenagers has ever drunk alcohol, smoked or taken drugs. My eldest has just been accepted on a course to do a funded phd. I think they are doing ok.
I split up with my ex for the sake of my children - they are far better off in a calm, happy house with one parent than they ever were in a miserable house with 2.


My friend is a great counselor and is no way discriminatory towards single parents but it just happens to be that she deals with more troubled children with only one parent than any other. No-one is saying single.parents CAN'T be good parents but that it could well be harder to bring up a child on ones own and may subsequently lead to a more disruptive childhood...
#29
It might be a good idea to have some links to analysis of credible modern statistics.

It could be that such conclusions are out of date where-as they MAY have been true some time in the past.

Anecdotal evidence is just that and all individuals and their circumstances are different.
#30
I would like to post here about myself and my closest friend.

I had 7 years as a "single parent" before I remarried and those years created a real close bond between my son and I because it was just us two. It was a really happy home life - harmonious, calm and lots of fun! (It still is btw!)

My close friend had a real rocky relationship with her husband but stayed with him solely because she just couldnt face life on her own,

Today my son is still a happy trouble free boy...............whereas my poor friend has the most awful time with her son and daughter. They have experienced so much with their parents CONSTANT rowing and fighting. I couldnt tell you the amount of times she has told me how bad she feels as there is no doubt whatsoever her kids are messed up because of their home life. She has since left him and her daughter is seeing a child pyschologist.



Edited By: bossyboots on Jul 26, 2010 05:29:

spelling
banned#31
These are the results from various american studies on fatherless kids, I'm sure it's nearly the same in the UK

http://www.photius.com/feminocracy/facts_on_fatherless_kids.html

Hers some of the published facts

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children.)
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)


Edited By: slamdunkin on Jul 26, 2010 05:46: .
#32
bossyboots
I would like to post here about myself and my closest friend.

I had 7 years as a "single parent" before I remarried and those years created a real close bond between my son and I because it was just us two. It was a really happy home life - harmonious, calm and lots of fun!

My close friend had a real rocky relationship with her husband but stayed with him solely because she just couldnt face life on her own,

Today my son is still a happy trouble free boy...............whereas my poor friend has the most awful time with her son and daughter. They have experienced so much with their parents CONSTANT rowing and fighting. I couldnt tell you the amount of times she has told me how bad she feels as there is no doubt whatsoever her kids are messed up because of their home life. She has since left him and her daughter is seeing a child pyschologist.


If you had stayed with your ex and constantly rowed, and your friend had the idyllic single life, your kids may have turned out exactly how they have done anyway.

chesso


Anecdotal evidence is just that and all individuals and their circumstances are different.




Edited By: thesaint on Jul 26, 2010 05:32: I want to
#33
thesaint

If you had stayed with your ex and constantly rowed, and your friend had the idyllic single life, your kids may have turned out exactly how they have done anyway.


Yes and if I had of picked the correct lottery numbers on Saturday I would have been a millionaire

Edited By: bossyboots on Jul 26, 2010 05:35: spelling again!
banned#34
People really not grasping the concept of statistics it seems.
banned#35
Hmmm, a thread on stating the bleedin obvious! lol
#36
csiman
Hmmm, a thread on stating the bleedin obvious! lol


How would that be obvious?!
banned#37
master_chief
People really not grasping the concept of statistics it seems.

or even averages of statistics. Too many defensive people on this thread who dont quite get it. I wonder why........
banned#38
I would agree with it, being brought up by my Mum from 8 I've been deeply troubled by the break up through out my life and haven't achieved as much as I would have liked. Counselling certainly helped but never heals the wound.
#39
Dont agree, think it definately depends on the individual who is a parent regardless of whether they are as a couple or a single parent.

I think the way a person is raised by their own parents(or parent) has a massive impact on the way that they will raise their own children
banned#40
I would say a lot of children from separated families are traumatised by their parents break-up.

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