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Teenage Boys

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So I have 2 teenage boys and I wondered how you deal with them, arguing, backchat attitude etc
snowflake Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
So I have 2 teenage boys and I wondered how you deal with them, arguing, backchat attitude etc
snowflake Avatar
7y, 7m agoPosted 7 years, 7 months ago
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#1
Just a few opinions, no haters please this is a serious thread.
[mod]#2
Guilt trip them.............won't always work but did with me. :)
1 Like #3
Punch them, really hard, in the nuts.
#4
I look after my two little teenage brothers while my parents are working, as I work from home atm, as its easiest for me to do then let some stranger do so, one has ADHD and the others just a narky little backchaters, the easiest thing I find is to split them up in different rooms.
#5
Threaten them with the prospect of a sex education talk. If that doesn't work, start talking about your own sexual experiences.

Seriously.
#6
Take away all that is dear to them and only return items with good behaviour
[mod]#7
We_Are_138;6021342
Threaten them with the prospect of a sex education talk. If that doesn't work, start talking about your own sexual experiences.

Seriously.


:lol: That would work..........they'll vanish in seconds to their rooms.
#8
mikebike
Take away all that is dear to them and only return items with good behaviour


spot on :thumbsup: works everytime
#9
Adam2050
I look after my two little teenage brothers while my parents are working, as I work from home atm, as its easiest for me to do then let some stranger do so, one has ADHD and the others just a narky little backchaters, the easiest thing I find is to split them up in different rooms.


This doesn't work very well as I have to 'get between' them when they fight, they are both bigger than me, I have no family and am a single parent. Both are really well mannered and do well at school, but the school holidays has brought them to fighting on a daily basis now, they just dont get on. The youngest is the one with the attitude, cheeky, not naughty, always got to be right etc

It actually brings me to my knees and I just wonder how other parents cope. I know what I need is a break from them, but I never get that and cant, but I just wonder how other parents cope.
#10
Syzable
:lol: That would work..........they'll vanish in seconds to their rooms.


No I do that, it makes them argue more because they are bored.
[mod]#11
snowflake;6021378
This doesn't work very well as I have to 'get between' them when they fight, they are both bigger than me, I have no family and am a single parent. Both are really well mannered and do well at school, but the school holidays has brought them to fighting on a daily basis now, they just dont get on. The youngest is the one with the attitude, cheeky, not naughty, always got to be right etc

It actually brings me to my knees and I just wonder how other parents cope. I know what I need is a break from them, but I never get that and cant, but I just wonder how other parents cope.


Can you not send each of them round to one of their mates for the day so you can get some you time? :)
#12
the bank of mum and dad closes on good behaviour interest rates, defo works
#13
Take em mountain biking :-p
#14
Tell them that they make you sad by the way they behave.If they don't care then neither should you.

There is a point when a teen asserts to be an adult and should be treat in that manner.At that point you treat them as you would an adult relative that behaved in that way.

It will all pass (eventually)
#15
This is why I'm asking, I do the usual, seperate them when I physically can, take things off them, but it doesn't stop the arguing and fighting, it can be over the slightest thing, Ive tried not getting involved, but that just ends up in major punch ups and me being accused of not stopping one or the other.

I'm really at my witts end :-(
#16
Ignore what you can, but have boundaries that have consequences.
They are growing up, and need to test how far they can go.

Number one failure for parents is that they say "This will happen if you do that again", and when it happens the parent thinks to themselves "Oh, forget it, I want an easy life".

These type of parents are making a rod for their own back, and deserve the life they are fostering.
#17
Part of a being a parent involves being put upon,it is thankless task.One way they will see how lucky they were to have a home with love.
#18
Ahhhh so this is why you are being so petty with me :whistling:

Your annoyed with teenage boys....
#19
Syzable
Can you not send each of them round to one of their mates for the day so you can get some you time? :)


I get the odd breather when they go out with their mates, but it just doenst last long enough, I could have a whole day when they both go out, but when they get back, same old. :-(

Alfonse
the bank of mum and dad closes on good behaviour interest rates, defo works


I do, they both have little jobs/paper rounds etc, so doesn't bother them.

wib_1
Take em mountain biking :-p


Not tried this, not sure I wouldn't be tempted to fiddle with their breaks :w00t:

whitbyfish
Tell them that they make you sad by the way they behave.If they don't care then neither should you.

There is a point when a teen asserts to be an adult and should be treat in that manner.At that point you treat them as you would an adult relative that behaved in that way.

It will all pass (eventually)


Thankyou, this post gave me hope x
#20
firstly arrange for them to spend at day at their friends house, give you some space to breath. Then I would think about organising some sort of team building trip for them, something they have to work together to complete, this usually helps.
#21
thesaint
Ignore what you can, but have boundaries that have consequences.
They are growing up, and need to test how far they can go.

Number one failure for parents is that they say "This will happen if you do that again", and when it happens the parent thinks to themselves "Oh, forget it, I want an easy life".

These type of parents are making a rod for their own back, and deserve the life they are fostering.


No honestly, I always act on what they do, I don't say this will happen next time, but it's just got to the point where I am so tired of always being in the middle of a battle. Im not confrontational at all in real life, dont shout or smack etc, and have and do all the usual take things away stop friends sleeping over stop them going out etc, but Im more after advice on how other parents got through this stage age etc i think.

I am very proud of my kids, dont get me wrong, they are really well mannered intelligent kids, no one ever has a bad word to say about them, ever, quite the opposite, but indoors, with me, with each other, ww3 could and does break out at any minute :?
1 Like #22
snowflake
This doesn't work very well as I have to 'get between' them when they fight, they are both bigger than me, I have no family and am a single parent. Both are really well mannered and do well at school, but the school holidays has brought them to fighting on a daily basis now, they just dont get on. The youngest is the one with the attitude, cheeky, not naughty, always got to be right etc

It actually brings me to my knees and I just wonder how other parents cope. I know what I need is a break from them, but I never get that and cant, but I just wonder how other parents cope.


I can understand this as there is no male parent, hope you don't think i'm being patrenising in anyway but you sound like your doing your best, and they only show up because they know you can't actually do anything. :x

They will grow out of it i'm sure.
1 Like #23
You could just guilt them into behaving, lol... Next time they are fighting, split them up and then just stand their and cry, sob your heart out in front of them, they will feel so bad. lol
1 Like #24
snowflake - sounds just like mine - 2 girls - must be normal

as you have said you are on your own - hard for you hon

sort out stuff and go do a carboot - if you havent got a car - get a taxi :thumbsup:

and send them away for a week - ask around to see if you can get help - no joke - theres lots of groups out there - good luck

http://www.pgl.co.uk/PGLWeb/individuals/holidaylist.html?&source=Google&kwd=activity+holidays
#25
Adam2050
I can understand this as there is no male parent, hope you don't think i'm being patrenising in anyway but you sound like your doing your best, and they only show up because they know you can't actually do anything. :x

They will grow out of it i'm sure.


No, that's ok, I realise this has a lot to do with things I only hope I can last until they do grow out of it if that's my only option. I do do my best and I'm not a pushover, but what I wish I could do is stop the conflict/attitude in the first place, not have to keep dealing with the after effercts of it, if you get me.

They know it upsets me, but other than bursting into tears every time this happens and putting a noose around my neck lol (not going to ever) I cant figure out what I do to get through to them :?
#26
ChipSticks
You could just guilt them into behaving, lol... Next time they are fighting, split them up and then just stand their and cry, sob your heart out in front of them, they will feel so bad. lol


holly100
snowflake - sounds just like mine - 2 girls - must be normal

as you have said you are on your own - hard for you hon

sort out stuff and go do a carboot - if you havent got a car - get a taxi :thumbsup:

and send them away for a week - ask around to see if you can get help - no joke - theres lots of groups out there - good luck

http://www.pgl.co.uk/PGLWeb/individuals/holidaylist.html?&source=Google&kwd=activity+holidays



Thankyou both x
#27
sign them up to join the "Armed Forces"
1 Like #28
i have three teenages and they argue and fight between themselves but when they are out they protect each other. i try to ignore their rows unless it gets out of hand and then i stop them by threaten to turn of power in their rooms, so no internet, music or tvs this normally works and i do stick to what i say
mine are 20, 18 and 15 so hopefully it will get easier now (i hope lol) it does get on my nerves i have even been sitting there crying with frustration (this also stops the arguments or fights)
people that know me and my children often comment on how well my lot get on if only they had been in my house moments earlier when they were threatening to kill each other
#29
snowflake
No, that's ok, I realise this has a lot to do with things I only hope I can last until they do grow out of it if that's my only option. I do do my best and I'm not a pushover, but what I wish I could do is stop the conflict/attitude in the first place, not have to keep dealing with the after effercts of it, if you get me.

They know it upsets me, but other than bursting into tears every time this happens and putting a noose around my neck lol (not going to ever) I cant figure out what I do to get through to them :?


Hope you don't mind me asking, but have you asked them are they bored?

I know I tended to get irrated as a young lad because I frustrated and bored.

The second point yeh I used to fight a lot when I was younger with my other brother (1 year younger), and the only thing that would stop me is when we actually upset my mother.
1 Like #30
ttwcd
i have three teenages and they argue and fight between themselves but when they are out they protect each other. i try to ignore their rows unless it gets out of hand and then i stop them by threaten to turn of power in their rooms, so no internet, music or tvs this normally works and i do stick to what i say
mine are 20, 18 and 15 so hopefully it will get easier now (i hope lol) it does get on my nerves i have even been sitting there crying with frustration (this also stops the arguments or fights)
people that know me and my children often comment on how well my lot get on if only they had been in my house moments earlier when they were threatening to kill each other


Thankyou, that gives me hope and you sound like you understand :)

Adam2050
Hope you don't mind me asking, but have you asked them are they bored?

I know I tended to get irrated as a young lad because I frustrated and bored.

The second point yeh I used to fight a lot when I was younger with my other brother (1 year younger), and the only thing that would stop me is when we actually upset my mother.


They have no right to be bored at all, they live by the beach, have access to lots of amenities, have bikes, have pc/tv/ps3's each and bored just doesn't wash with me. They are 14 and 16, very different, oldest is quiet and tends to just have a couple of good friends, youngest is very popular and plays football for the best team where we live, has the girls chasing him etc etc
#31
snowflake
Thankyou, that gives me hope and you sound like you understand :)



They have no right to be bored at all, they live by the beach, have access to lots of amenities, have bikes, have pc/tv/ps3's each and bored just doesn't wash with me. They are 14 and 16, very different, oldest is quiet and tends to just have a couple of good friends, youngest is very popular and plays football for the best team where we live, has the girls chasing him etc etc


Sounds lucky as, actually sounds like where I live. But maybe a better area.

I know but you know how teenagers get lazy, I was a lazy so and so at that age I had to be pushed to do things from 14-16. I was a bit like your eldiest for a while.

Chasing girls watch out there.:thumbsup:
#32
Seriously, I'd buy them a punchbag, as soon as they even look like they are about to start send them for 5 minutes whacking the hell out of it while the other holds it steady then swap em over for another 5 minutes, too much pent up energy in them.

I know encouraging punching may seem like a step backwards but its a controlled aggression you need to throw the punches at the bag squarely.

I have suffered anger/stress problems myself during my 20's and this is one thing that worked for me whacking seven kinds of sh...smelly stuff out of it for a few minutes (I'm not a teenage boy BTW a 33 year old dad instead) really laying into it will soon drain them of energy to fight.
#33
how old are they?

i have 2 teenage boys, the same here sometimes, fancy an exchange a brother scheme, you send me one, i'll send you one :lol: a bit of peace and a change of scenery for the boys
#34
snowflake
Thankyou, that gives me hope and you sound like you understand :)



They have no right to be bored at all, they live by the beach, have access to lots of amenities, have bikes, have pc/tv/ps3's each and bored just doesn't wash with me. They are 14 and 16, very different, oldest is quiet and tends to just have a couple of good friends, youngest is very popular and plays football for the best team where we live, has the girls chasing him etc etc


Do they go out at all?

If they don't sometimes the material things aren't enough, i have a laptop, PS3 in my room and downstairs, sky+ in my room and downstairs, sometimes kids dont just want the material things in life. they want to spend time with their family, kids are different, this is just my opinion coming straight from a teenager. :thumbsup:
#35
Know how you feel SF, my boys are at that physical stage and are both taller than me......doesnt stop me wading in though.
When it has got too much I have ordered them both downstairs, TV off, no distractions and have actually told them how much it hurts me to see them bickering and hurting each other. I tell them how proud I am of them re: school, manners with other people and and how lucky they are to have each other, thay may not realise it now but I use my nephews as an example......same age gap between them and the fights were awful, but they are now older and were best men at each others weddings.
It must be 10 times more difficult for you as I have my OH to lean on.
I do try to ignore their bickering as much as I can, and if they do start I tell them no matter who started it they will both be punished, i.e no internet, xbox, TV etc.
Make time for yourself, have some time on your own window shopping, have a manicure/pedicure and tell them that you are going out for a few hours for some "me time" and that you would really appreciate it if they could show some respect for you and each other so you can come back to a good atmosphere then you can all have a treat of Pizza, chinese or whatever.
It will get better,but the testerone flying around at the moment is awful and they are trying to assert their authority as men of the house. xxxxx

sorry that was so long......hope it made sense :oops:
#36
loupomm;6021667
how old are they?

i have 2 teenage boys, the same here sometimes, fancy an exchange a brother scheme, you send me one, i'll send you one :lol: a bit of peace and a change of scenery for the boys

16 & 14 I think I read.
#37
harlzter
Seriously, I'd buy them a punchbag, as soon as they even look like they are about to start send them for 5 minutes whacking the hell out of it while the other holds it steady then swap em over for another 5 minutes, too much pent up energy in them.

I have suffered anger/stress problems myself during my 20's and this is one thing that worked for me whacking seven kinds of sh...smelly stuff out of it for a few minutes (I'm not a teenage boy BTW a 33 year old dad instead) really laying into it will soon drain them of energy to fight.



I very good idea actually, seriously, cheers

loupomm
how old are they?

i have 2 teenage boys, the same here sometimes, fancy an exchange a brother scheme, you send me one, i'll send you one :lol: a bit of peace and a change of scenery for the boys


Yes, no hesitation :w00t: you're on! 14 and 16 lol
#38
snowflake
I very good idea actually, seriously, cheers



Yes, no hesitation :w00t: you're on!


actually its not a bad idea :giggle: would prob work too, but hey you live by the beach, i'm coming too :w00t:
#39
bitseylango
Know how you feel SF, my boys are at that physical stage and are both taller than me......doesnt stop me wading in though.
When it has got too much I have ordered them both downstairs, TV off, no distractions and have actually told them how much it hurts me to see them bickering and hurting each other. I tell them how proud I am of them re: school, manners with other people and and how lucky they are to have each other, thay may not realise it now but I use my nephews as an example......same age gap between them and the fights were awful, but they are now older and were best men at each others weddings.
It must be 10 times more difficult for you as I have my OH to lean on.
I do try to ignore their bickering as much as I can, and if they do start I tell them no matter who started it they will both be punished, i.e no internet, xbox, TV etc.
Make time for yourself, have some time on your own window shopping, have a manicure/pedicure and tell them that you are going out for a few hours for some "me time" and that you would really appreciate it if they could show some respect for you and each other so you can come back to a good atmosphere then you can all have a treat of Pizza, chinese or whatever.
It will get better,but the testerone flying around at the moment is awful and they are trying to assert their authority as men of the house. xxxxx

sorry that was so long......hope it made sense :oops:


Thanks Bitsey xx it did make sense. x
#40
loupomm
actually its not a bad idea :giggle: would prob work too, but hey you live by the beach, i'm coming too :w00t:


Im serious, this would be perfect, lol

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