The alnbowes ONE LINERS Thread. - HotUKDeals
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The alnbowes ONE LINERS Thread.

Prissymiss Avatar
banned8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
Please post you one liners here.
Prissymiss Avatar
banned8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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#1
Got home and found the cat dead in the washing machine earlier. I'm gutted, but at least the cat died in comfort!!!!
#2
Cowboy walks into a German car show room, and says "Audi":w00t:
#3
Suicide bomber runs into a pet shop, and shouts you've all got 30 secs to get out. The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts :-

You *******
#4
Money talks... but all mine ever says is "Good-bye"
:-(
#5
alnbowes
Cowboy walks into a German car show room, and says "Audi":w00t:


:whistling:

not quite a 'one liner'
#6
.. . . . . .. . . ... . . .. . . .. . ....... . .. ... .......
.. . . . .. . ... . . .. . . . . . ... . ... .. .. ..
. . .. . ..... ........ .. .. ... . . . .. . . . . . . . . . ..
.. .. ..... . . ... .. . .... . . . .. . .
.. . . . . . . ....... . .. . . . . Lots of love. Stevie Wonder.
#7
Schizophrenia beats being alone:thumbsup:
#8
Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig
#9
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough
#10
mbgringo
.. . . . . .. . . ... . . .. . . .. . ....... . .. ... .......
.. . . . .. . ... . . .. . . . . . ... . ... .. .. ..
. . .. . ..... ........ .. .. ... . . . .. . . . . . . . . . ..
.. .. ..... . . ... .. . .... . . . .. . .
.. . . . . . . ....... . .. . . . . Lots of love. Stevie Wonder.


Liking it ......whats it say :whistling:
#11
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
#12
What's that smell...................... Joan of Arc
banned#13
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
#14
alnbowes
Liking it ......whats it say :whistling:


Was a quick essay about his favourite colour . . . . . . corduroy :)
#15
Karim786
:whistling:

not quite a 'one liner'


well there aint more than one line ......is there ??

(always one)
#16
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
#17
For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
#18
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
#19
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
#20
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
#21
Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?
#22
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
#23
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
#24
Mick Hucknall's been arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit, apparently he was holding back the ears and the bunny was too tight to mention (sorry in advance :oops:)
#25
sting like a bee, float like a butterfly
#26
Jesus loves you! It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.
#27
A closed mouth gathers no foot
#28
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.


When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
#29
mbgringo
Mick Hucknall's been arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit, apparently he was holding back the ears and the bunny was too tight to mention (sorry in advance :oops:)


Mick Hucknall and Mark Knopfler are forming a new band.............Simply Dire.
#30
Guys walks into a bar carrying jump leads. Barman says "Don't you start anything in here!"
#31
Divorce, Latin for ripping out a mans wallet through his testicles.
#32
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
#33
Alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
#34
I'm going to live forever, or die trying.
#35
NOW ON SALE AT IKEA . . . . lesbian beds, no screwing involved, its all tongue and groove . . .
#36
Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.
#37
Research has uncovered that excessive masturbation can lead to dyslexia, hwoeevr, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse
#38
Give me a min....I've got plenty of short jokes.
#39
hottoshop
Mick Hucknall and Mark Knopfler are forming a new band.............Simply Dire.


love it
#40
mbgringo
Research has uncovered that excessive masturbation can lead to dyslexia, hwoeevr, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse


loooooooooool:w00t:

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