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The Birds and the Bees

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My 8 year old son came home from school today to excitedly tell me that the dictionary in his class contained the word "sex" He asked if I wanted to know what it meant so I told him to go ahead. H… Read More
fireheaven Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
My 8 year old son came home from school today to excitedly tell me that the dictionary in his class contained the word "sex"

He asked if I wanted to know what it meant so I told him to go ahead. Here is his version which I suspect he mixed up a little:-

A man shoots a penis into a woman's vein which then makes a seed which is planted in an umbrella cone and turns into a baby!!

Have your little angels come out with any funny versions.
fireheaven Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
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#1
A man shoots a ***** into a woman's vein which then makes a seed which is planted in an umbrella cone and turns into a baby!!
OMG...ur telling me, thats not what really happens??! :w00t:
suspended#2
LMAO hahahaha bless him

mine are a bit old for that kind of analogy

but i do remember my son dominic talking into my belly button when i was pregnant with his brother lol
#3
so thats what i have been doing wrong hes a smart little fella!!
#4
I remember bathing with my 2 youngest boys when they were 2 and 4, the eldest looked at me and said " I know why you havent got a willie...........the devil took it away!" Someone at pre-school had told him :)
#5
big willy style
so thats what i have been doing wrong hes a smart little fella!!



Appropriate user name for this thread :w00t:
banned#6
Bless:-D
suspended#7
bitseylango
I remember bathing with my 2 youngest boys when they were 2 and 4, the eldest looked at me and said " I know why you havent got a willie...........the devil took it away!" Someone at pre-school had told him :)

pmsl .... kids have the strangest thoughts
#8
my 4 yr old little boy asked for a knife and a spoon yesterday, when asked why he said he wanted to take the baby out!!. . . .
:p
im 8 wks pregnant
banned#9
bless, they are so innocent, nothing really sporings to mind from either of mine, except daughter asking if my bum was supposed to be that low, but shes 15 so to big to slap - lol
#10
my 8 year old daughter is watching hollyoaks - asked me what a virgin is :oops:

i told her someone who has never had sex - she asked what do you call someone who has :?
#11
When my son was 2 or 3 he couldn't say "Willy" - it came out as "Wiggy". And to this day, all my kids have called it a "Wiggy"!
banned#12
loupomm
my 8 year old daughter is watching hollyoaks - asked me what a virgin is :oops:

i told her someone who has never had sex - she asked what do you call someone who has :?


did you say mummy - lol
#13
sassie
did you say mummy - lol


well the word lucky sprang to my mind :whistling:

i ashamedly changed the subject :oops:
#14
sassie;2948204
did you say mummy - lol

:w00t:ouch!!! That was ..........
banned#15
loupomm
well the word lucky sprang to my mind :whistling:

i ashamedly changed the subject :oops:


lmfao - good one :thumbsup:
#16
loupomm
well the word lucky sprang to my mind :whistling:

i ashamedly changed the subject :oops:


lol good job you didn't say what you called me on the other thread
#17
tracy013
lol good job you didn't say what you called me on the other thread


least i didnt send her to my brother to ask him, which is what my mum done to me when i asked her what virginity was after hearing my sister telling her friend you can lose it horse riding :giggle:
#18
angelsmummy
my 4 yr old little boy asked for a knife and a spoon yesterday, when asked why he said he wanted to take the baby out!!. . . .
:p
im 8 wks pregnant



was it a little fork that put it in there :?
1 Like #19
owlass
was it a little fork that put it in there :?


:-D

my 11 yr old finished school today and she was admiring my little baby bump :) stroked it and told me i was getting bigger it was all so sweet!!

5 mins later we got home i was walking up the steps to my house and she said "so mum . . . when does the baby come out your ass" :giggle: cheeky little *&?* . .. . !
#20
angelsmummy
:-D

my 11 yr old finished school today and she was admiring my little baby bump :) stroked it and told me i was getting bigger it was all so sweet!!

5 mins later we got home i was walking up the steps to my house and she said "so mum . . . when does the baby come out your ass" :giggle: cheeky little *&?* . .. . !




haha, must have looked like the biggest exit :p
#21
when my son was about 5 he asked how he got in my tummy we said daddy plants a seed in mummys tummy,a couple of days later we were in kfc and he asked could he and his sister come and watch next time dad plants the seed,hes now 12 and mortified when we mention it
#22
What is the birds and the bees story, i've heard it mentioned many times, but never heard it :oops:
#23
peodude
What is the birds and the bees story, i've heard it mentioned many times, but never heard it :oops:


Updated for the 21st century

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Dad, how was I born?"

The father answers: Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on HUKD

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male.
banned#24
pluves1
Updated for the 21st century

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male.


Cute:-D
#25
Reminds me of when my sister asked her son if he knew what a prostitue was.
His reply was ,"Its a religion.":whistling:
1 Like #26
My niece whe she was little said she wanted to be a dancer. When her mother asked her what kind of danceing she would like to do, you know balet ,tap,highland ect, she said.....

'Pole dancing mummy'

I laughed for about a week
banned#27
susanemily
Reminds me of when my sister asked her son if he knew what a prostitue was.
His reply was ,"Its a religion.":whistling:


I'm a nun :whistling:
#28
jennybubbles
My niece whe she was little said she wanted to be a dancer. When her mother asked her what kind of danceing she would like to do, you know balet ,tap,highland ect, she said.....

'Pole dancing mummy'

I laughed for about a week


I would loved to have seen her mother's face


:giggle:
#29
jennybubbles
My niece whe she was little said she wanted to be a dancer. When her mother asked her what kind of danceing she would like to do, you know balet ,tap,highland ect, she said.....

'Pole dancing mummy'

I laughed for about a week


fireheaven
I would loved to have seen her mother's face


:giggle:




:w00t: buy her a pole for xmas jen
#30
These made me laugh...My daughter (aged 8yrs) asked my Mum (Grandma!) what a 'virgin' was while they were preparing lunch, my Mum told her that it was a lady that wasn't married (my Mum's a bit of a prude)...my daughter was quiet and then asked how olive oil got married!

My mum then told her she would have to ask me... I had a very confused little girl by this time!

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