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The Geriatric Alphabet

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
The Geriatric Alphabet
.
.
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!

P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.

W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!
snowtiger Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/pju/lowres/pjun271l.jpg[/CENTER]
#2
lol, love it x
#3
[CENTER]http://www.streamingradio.co.uk/minisites/dean/images/010%20FLOPPY%20DISC.jpg[/CENTER]
#4
http://www.multimediapalace.com/animations-02/people-gifs/granny.gifhttp://www.animationplayhouse.com/rockin_granny.gifhttp://www.barbaralarkin.com/images/granny.gifhttp://z.about.com/d/movies/1/0/w/h/O/meettherobinsonspic10.jpg
#5
These are so funny :)

Thanks for making me laugh!
#6
[CENTER]http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/getting-older-3rules.jpg[/CENTER]
#7
[CENTER]http://www.raspberriescards.com/images/cards/170.jpg[/CENTER]
#8
[CENTER]http://www.teamsputnik.co.uk/blog/content/binary/worry%20man%20camping%20BLOG.jpg[/CENTER]
#9
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in the car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.
One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting."
#10
[CENTER]http://www.dvorak.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/nuns.jpg[/CENTER]
#11
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii78/chesso_photos/oldwoman2.jpg
#12
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/dpa/lowres/dpan1117l.jpg
#13
[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/cgo/lowres/cgon496l.jpg[/CENTER]

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