Friend has an american bulldog-its absolutely enormous and a lovely friendly dog. Problem is,its a bit too friendly and it jumps up on anyone it sees,and usually knocks them over due to its bulk.
My friend saw an advert in the local paper "the glasgow dog whisperer-20 years experience-success guaranteed" So he calls the guy up,explains the problem and the whisperer tells him there is a consultation fee of 80 quid and makes the appointment for today"
He comes round,pockets the 80 quid and then tells my friend to let the dog out,m8 opens the living room door and the dog comes bounding down the hall. Just as it jumps up to greet the whisperer he sidesteps it and knees it right in the chest with full force and the dog runs away and hides in its basket.
The "whisperer" then turns to my m8 and says "fecker wont do that again in a hurry!"
So my friend says to the guy "basically,I just paid you 80 quid to kick my dog?"
"To the untrained eye,it may seem like a random kicking m8 but there is a lot of complicated behavioural science behind it,any problems,give me a call!"
Cesar milian-eat yer heart out!