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The Half-Wit

snowtiger Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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The Half-Wit
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A man owned a small farm in Norfolk.

The Department of wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.

I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them, demanded the rep.

Well, replied the farmer, theres my farm hand whos been with me for 3 years. I pay him 200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her 150 per week plus free room and board. Then theres the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about 10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

Thats the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit, says the agent.

That would be me, replied the farmer.
snowtiger Avatar
8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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#1
[CENTER][SIZE=6][COLOR=darkorange]Good morning :)[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=6][COLOR=darkorange]HAPPY MONDAY[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]


[CENTER]http://www.tangischools.org/schools/hhs/Images/Gifs/HHS%20Gifs/Good%20morning%20creature.bmp[/CENTER]
#2
a sunny good morning to you snowtiger

http://i36.tinypic.com/2m43er7.jpg
#3
Good morning Holly .... your picture is absolutely gorgeous !
#4
is the theme today - farm jokes -

Buttercup and Daisy were chatting as they chewed the cud.
"'Ere, have you heard about this mad-cow disease?"
"Yes, sounds nasty."
"I'm glad I'm a chicken."

Or...

Two cows in a field. One says to the other,
"What do you think about this mad cow disease?"
The other replies,
"Crikey, a talking cow!"
#5
[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0227l.jpg[/CENTER]
#6
http://i35.tinypic.com/219new5.jpg
#7
[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0277l.jpg[/CENTER]
#8
http://i340.photobucket.com/albums/o346/hellfire1976/004fy8th.jpg

Hope everyone is well this morning. Have a good week:thumbsup:
#9
hellfire;2667987
http://i340.photobucket.com/albums/o346/hellfire1976/004fy8th.jpg

Hope everyone is well this morning. Have a good week:thumbsup:

Hi Hellfire/Holly, how are you ? I've just got back from my sons (who lives just over the road to me) to accept delivery of a new 2 & 3 seater Cream leather settee.. well they arrived nice & early but ...... !! when they unpacked the 3 seater, which was heavily wrapped in Brown paper & sacking it was Chocolate Brown ! & then the 2 seater had bad marks across the two back cushions !! I wont name & shame the company as it was a small one! They have promised to redeliver replacements by 6 tonight (we'll see !) so I suppose that's not too bad a service ...... .... I just have to wait for a phonecall to go back over again ... the day can only get worse !! .........
suppose I'll have to stay on here to pass the time ! bfn :) (twisted arm!)
banned#10
thought this was a thread about DLM. :giggle:
#11
Welcome to HUKD MLD :)
#12
Like the jokes.
#13
Not a good start to the week then Snowtiger. Sounds as though the company has pretty good customer service......shouldn't have got it wrong in the 1st place but at least they are doing their best to fix it.

I've got my Mum visiting from Yorkshire this week. She moved over there last year so don't get to see her as much as I once did. Lovely to see her but she does tend to try and take over my kitchen! :roll: My son loves it when she comes. The same routine each time at the start for him. She has to bring the book that she keeps all the height measurements in for the family (she started it when my sisters and I were young) and then he gets measured and compares it to how tall I was at the same age.
#14
Nice cheerful start to the week here. Thanks for the jokes and shame about the furniture snowtiger. Mind you, I was thinking your son's very brave to go for cream. :thumbsup: I've got my fingers crossed for you that you'll get through the day in front of the computer :p
#15
hellfire;2669015
Not a good start to the week then Snowtiger. Sounds as though the company has pretty good customer service......shouldn't have got it wrong in the 1st place but at least they are doing their best to fix it.
[COLOR=darkred]Yes mistakes do happen so fingers crossed that all is well when they unwrap the replacement !![/COLOR]

I've got my Mum visiting from Yorkshire this week. She moved over there last year so don't get to see her as much as I once did. Lovely to see her but she does tend to try and take over my kitchen! :roll: My son loves it when she comes. The same routine each time at the start for him. She has to bring the book that she keeps all the height measurements in for the family (she started it when my sisters and I were young) and then he gets measured and compares it to how tall I was at the same age.

[COLOR=darkred]I'm sure your mum will try & make life as easy for you as she can on her visit :), my daughter lives in Chesterfield & I am in Northamptonshire so I don't get to see her very often either ... I miss her so much but we chat on the phone most days.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=darkred]I think the height measurement book is a great idea to pass down the family, wish I'd thought of that ! Hope you have a lovely week together.[/COLOR]
#16
chesso;2669428
Nice cheerful start to the week here. Thanks for the jokes and shame about the furniture snowtiger. Mind you, I was thinking your son's very brave to go for cream. :thumbsup: I've got my fingers crossed for you that you'll get through the day in front of the computer :p

[COLOR=darkred]Hi Chesso, glad to hear that you are enjoying yourself :) [/COLOR]
[COLOR=darkred]................. exactly what I said to him about the Cream furniture, I know he will regret it ! but what do we know eh ? !! [/COLOR]
[COLOR=darkred]Especially when the time comes for him to have little feet running about he will understand ! :roll:[/COLOR]
[COLOR=darkred] I must admit my computer certainly is partly if not entirely responsible for the slow deterioration of the upkeep of my house... but hey at least my priorities are in order ! ............... Hope your week carries on in the good way it started .......... bfn xx :)[/COLOR]

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