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The Man Rules

fskinner Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
Finally , the guys' side of the stor
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it..
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one < /B>

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do
we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act
like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1.. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
fskinner Avatar
8y, 8m agoPosted 8 years, 8 months ago
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#1
Very good. :)

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


But this needs updating to:

"But did you know men really don't mind that? It's closer to the xbox" ;-)
#2
ok you've had your say but.....................................


1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't.

4. Girls are petty, get over it.

5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7. If you talk about having a big d..., we know you don't.

8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you.

9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.

10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.

12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

16. We are drama queens.

17. Fashion police do exist.

18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc.

20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.

25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.

26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)

28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.

30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't.
#3
Absolutely spot on - the pair of them!! They are great!! :thumbsup::thumbsup:
#4
nightswimmer
Very good. :)



But this needs updating to:

"But did you know men really don't mind that? It's closer to the xbox" ;-)


Couldn't agree more!!:roll:
#5
lesleysherrock
ok you've had your say but.....................................


Typical! Always have to get the last word. :p

*Grins, Ducks and Runs*
#6
nightswimmer
Typical! Always have to get the last word. :p

*Grins, Ducks and Runs*

as if ........................................................................... !!
#7
lesleysherrock
as if ........................................................................... !!


:lol:
#8
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii78/chesso_photos/little-miss-PMT_big.jpg

WTH has Christopher Columbus got to do with anything? He didn't even spell his name like that.

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