An English ventriloquist visiting the town of Tain in the Scottish
highlands walks in and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Highlander
'Good day, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Highlander : 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Sasenach.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Yeah, doing all right.'
Highlander : (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Fine. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
great food And takes me to the loch once a week to play.'
Highlander : (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Highlander : 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Not bad'
Highlander : (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the Highlander )
Horse: 'Right enough'
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me
from the Elements.'
Highlander : (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Highlander : (in a panic) 'The sheep's a liar dont trust it......'