At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger
congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because
he is so popular.
Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships stands up and proclaims:
'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Buick every year and
his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,
'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy
lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'
Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side,
while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F*** him'.