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There can only be one...

tr2k8 Avatar
banned7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:
M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.
along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
tr2k8 Avatar
banned7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
Wot . . ?
#2
I am scared:?
#3
Possibly the funniest thing I've read today :)
#4
#5
meandog101
Wot . . ?


+1
#6
see it in action


Its a flawed theory imo as the winning m&m in the first bout will undoubtably be weakend as subsequent bouts go on, therefore an m&m that has a winning streak of 10 fights may ultimately be beaten in the final by a fresh unweakened m&m who then is crowned the victor after only one bout :-( needs serious revamping imo/
#7
brilliant
#8
It will only end in tears when m&m's develope the use of nuclear weapons in some several millions of years.....
#9
A quiet day in the office is it?
#10
I'm afraid now. In time they will become -

"self aware"
#11
kungfu
see it in action


Its a flawed theory imo as the winning m&m in the first bout will undoubtably be weakend as subsequent bouts go on, therefore an m&m that has a winning streak of 10 fights may ultimately be beaten in the final by a fresh unweakened m&m who then is crowned the victor after only one bout :-( needs serious revamping imo/


hehe just what I was thinking - how sad are we.

Interesting though
#12
Butterflies
hehe just what I was thinking - how sad are we.

Interesting though


Also need to consider strength of index finger against the thumb. Could be an unfair advantage/disadvantage.
#13
how does an m&m stand up to the smartie
#14
Butterflies
hehe just what I was thinking - how sad are we.

Interesting though


i like my chocolate based confectionary fights to be held on a level playing field thats all, as im sure you do :thumbsup:

ding
how does an m&m stand up to the smartie


different weight class brah, no contest
#15
kungfu
different weight class brah, no contest
is it tho? or is the smartie just a little flatter than the m&m making it look bigger
#16
kungfu
i like my chocolate based confectionary fights to be held on a level playing field thats all, as im sure you do :thumbsup:


I'm totally against injustice - whether it be for M&M or maltesars which I have a totally different game for. Could try the same M&M game with smarties.....

In fact could hold a contest between M&M and smarties - just a trial run.... The losing team would be completely crushed - hahahhahahahahahaaaa :-D
#17
ding
how does an m&m stand up to the smartie


Aaah just seen this post! :thumbsup:
banned#18
wow - random
#19
ok...this is getting out of hand as i was actually considering a smartie/m&m face off for this afternoon

*back to reality* :p
#20
kungfu
ok...this is getting out of hand as i was actually considering a smartie/m&m face off for this afternoon

*back to reality* :p


Could make my afternoon very pleasant!

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