Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
A woman walked into a hair salon with her husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
A woman was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls as she was unhappy with the women's type she'd had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, she was approached by a gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help and without thinking, she looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'.
A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help.
She replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
While in line at the bank one afternoon, a woman's toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. After grabbing hold of her, she told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To the womans horror, she looked her in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
A womans three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and she was on at him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, she smelled something funny, so she asked him if he needed to go toilet, and he said 'No' .
She kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then she said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
She just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, she asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
A female news anchor was on TV the day after snow had been predicted, no snow fell so she turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'