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Thrown out of B&Q

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I've just been banned from every B&Q in the country. I went in my local store and some kid in an orange apron came up and asked me if I wanted decking? I wasn't going to take any chances so I hi…
johnpayne Avatar
8y, 11m agoPosted 8 years, 11 months ago
I've just been banned from every B&Q in the country.

I went in my local store and some kid in an orange apron came up and asked me if I wanted decking?

I wasn't going to take any chances so I hit him first!
johnpayne Avatar
8y, 11m agoPosted 8 years, 11 months ago
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banned#1
congrats on being the 100th member to post this this week - ll
#2
seems to be country-wide!!
#3
sassie;1961656
congrats on being the 100th member to post this this week - ll


:whistling::thumbsup:
#4
old but oh it makes me laugh ever so much!!!!!!!!!
banned#5
i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more vouchers - lol
#6
Is this Ground Hog Day ?
#7
sassie
i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more vouchers - lol


:lol:
#8
sassie
i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more vouchers - lol

Looooooooooooooooooooool!!!!
banned#9
I thought you were telling the trith at first! :oops:
#10
I'm going to post this again tomorrow so i become the 101st person to post it.
#11
This should be a sticky :)
#12
Very ground hog day, it has felt that way for pretty much ten years now ...
[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="3"][CENTER][FONT="Courier New"][FONT="Fixedsys"][SIZE="4"]Hey ... I got banned from b and q the other day cos some spanner asked me if I wanted decking and i said no I'd like a spanner please..[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR].
banned#13
sassie
congrats on being the 100th member to post this this week - ll


hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahah! i love iiiiiitttt!
banned#14
stora
This should be a sticky :)


hahahhaha!
banned#15
lol never hear that before lol
#16
zezlez
I'm going to post this again tomorrow so i become the 101st person to post it.


By then you'll be the 508th.
banned#17
Shengis
By then you'll be the 508th.


lmfao
#18
I went into B&Q and this bloke dressed in orange and black just inside the the door said 'Good afternoon sir', so I hit him.

Well everybody else seems to be doing it so I didn't want to feel left out..... :lol:
1 Like #19
[COLOR="Red"]I found a tin of paint in B&Q, it was dented so I went to the helpdesk for discount.
The assistant said " I can take 20% off it for you"
I said "okay, great"
She took the lid off the paint, threw it in the bin and then charged me full price...
[/COLOR]
....Geddit? I am so proud it's the firstest ever brilliant and funny joke i have evr made up on here....
I want a congratulations post for this!!!
1 Like #20
awwww sheriff well done you. that is fab wonderful congrats, rep left.













did i get it right . your owe me big time for kissing ass
#21
i went into B&Q the other day..
and i hit myself

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:w00t:
#22
jennie-jack
awwww sheriff well done you. that is fab wonderful congrats, rep left.

[COLOR="Red"]Thank you for being the 6th person on this here forum to congratulate me, your kindness will not be forgotten....:-D[/COLOR]











did i get it right . your owe me big time for kissing ass
#23
I went in to B&Q all I got was a long weight!
#24
next time ask for a skirting board ladder or a left handed screwdriver:thumbsup:
#25
Tarby25
next time ask for a skirting board ladder or a left handed screwdriver:thumbsup:


Or tartan paint :-D
#26
or vanilla glue...
#27
I went into B&Q the other day and asked this guy in orange for a long stand, he said 'no problem sir, wait there and I'll get you it'......half an hour later he came back and asked....'is that long enough?'
#28
i went into b&q the other day as i wanted to become a orange and black worker
next day on my job i asked a group of rugby type guys if they wanting decking
lets just say i beat the sh-it outta all of them and got fired
#29
I went into B&Q the other day and asked for a Jigsaw, he came back with a 1,000 piece puzzle. I said no thats not what I want, what about a wrench...he went away and came back with a scantily clad woman, again I said i think you've missed my point. Have you got a plane then, this time he came back with a model spitfire, ok I said this is your last chance, have you got some plaster then....yes you guess it he came back with his first aid kit......so I punched him anyway and went to homebase instead
#30
:giggle::giggle::giggle:

think there should now be a 'comedy' section added to this forum:idea:
#31
i have not laughed so much in ages. you mad bunch!
#32
Well, don't know where I've been but I've never seen it and I think it's fab Loooooooooooooool :-D
#33
Sheriff Waffles
:giggle::giggle::giggle:

think there should now be a 'comedy' section added to this forum:idea:


Actually thats a good idea, would get my vote :thumbsup:
#34
I went into B&Q the other day and somebody pinched a wheeltrim off the car and it cost me £17 to get a new one.

Not funny.
#35
zezlez
I went into B&Q the other day and somebody pinched a wheeltrim off the car and it cost me £17 to get a new one.

Not funny.

If thats a joke, i don't get it?
#36
Lulu'sMammy
If thats a joke, i don't get it?


No not a joke wish i had gone to another DIY store and i would have saved £17

Not blonde are you.
banned#37
zezlez
No not a joke wish i had gone to another DIY store and i would have saved £17

Not blonde are you.


Did you notice a little while after driving over a roundabout?

Buy some cable ties!
#38
100pk for 1 quid in B&Q.
#39
I don't get it. Why did the store employee want to deck you in the first place? You must have done something wrong...? :?
#40
JDeal
Did you notice a little while after driving over a roundabout?

Buy some cable ties!


Thats what i went into B&Q for in the 1st place, cable ties, just in case someone tried to pinch my wheeltrims but thay pinched one whilst i was in there............

Only Joking.

Yeah I got the ties on the wheeltrims now but a bit late dont you think ! ! !

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