Tommy Cooper - HotUKDeals
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Tommy Cooper

junkenstein73 Avatar
6y, 2m agoPosted 6 years, 2 months ago
I went to the doctor i said doctor my arm hurts when i lift it up!
He said 'dont lift it up then'

i said 'no serious my arm is broken in 3 places'
He said dont go those places then'

Got a new car for the wife ' good swap i thought'

Wife called my she said 'the car wont start theres water in the carburettor'
I Said 'wheres the car?'
In the river she said !!!

Just like that !!
junkenstein73 Avatar
6y, 2m agoPosted 6 years, 2 months ago
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#1
Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says: 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says: 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

A guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'
(You have to know about cricket to understand this one.)

Two elephants walk off a cliff...... Boom, boom!
#2
nikkib123
Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...' A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says: 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says: 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'A guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.''How's that?''Don't you start.'(You have to know about cricket to understand this one.)Two elephants walk off a cliff...... Boom, boom!

lool, like em

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