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Top Ten Blonde Jokes

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10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions! 9 The assistant asked the blonde i… Read More
Naeem786 Avatar
9y, 3m agoPosted 9 years, 3 months ago
10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"

7 A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

6 Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Second Blonde:

Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

5 Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

4 A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

3 A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

2 A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

1 A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Naeem786 Avatar
9y, 3m agoPosted 9 years, 3 months ago
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#1
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:JgAPe9sWW0OoLM:http://members.home.nl/twoboxers/haha.gif
#2
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
Order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
Purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.


Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
Decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul
It home."


The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
She wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
Less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
Sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph
Office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her
That I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer
To our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."


The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
Adds, it will cost 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull,
The brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
Word.


After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send
Her the word "comfortable."


The operator shakes his head "How is she ever going to know that you
Want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
Haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
"comfortable?"


The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read
It very slowly... "com-for-DA-bul."
#3
lol :)
#4
Lol Brilliant!:-D
#5
lol @ number 4! :thumbsup:

How do you make a blondes eyes light up?
...shine torch in her ear!
#6
lol..

what do you call a group of blondes lined up ear to ear?










a wind tunnel
#7
You're blonde

Thats it......its all ive got
#8
"he ler ee us" - im not blonde, i sware
#9
Nout wrong with blondies thank you!!
#10
i love these jokes :D
banned#11
Brilliant :)

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