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totally fed of the world and its brother

£0.00 @ ITS
anyone got any funny jokes they wanna share
sassie Avatar
banned8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
anyone got any funny jokes they wanna share
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sassie Avatar
banned8y, 9m agoPosted 8 years, 9 months ago
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(28) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
#1
ooh whats buggin you?
#2
what do you call a elephant lying on a tennis court ????
#3
cant be fed up with the world if your dead.....jus sayin
#4
Aww... sassie, cheer up - we all love you :-D
#5
mostwanteddirect
what do you call a elephant lying on a tennis court ????

A dead elephant in a tennis court? :p
#6
does the world have a brother ? probs the sun i would think or the moon maby
#7
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
#8
mostwanteddirect
what do you call a elephant lying on a tennis court ????


annette :w00t:
banned#9
mostwanteddirect
what do you call a elephant lying on a tennis court ????


go on


errrm i dont get it
#10
http://i20.tinypic.com/2q16hq1.jpg
#11
didnt the danny and emma doll cheer you up? just add £48 for free delivery? lol
#12
http://www.zwani.com/graphics/cheer_up/images/commentgreeting5.gif
#13
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd316/bitseylango/dirty.gif
#14
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f...ing red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond .
Dumb ass.
#15
louloo
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f...ing red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond .
Dumb ass.



:-D:-D thats funny sassie
#16
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts
the alligator up on the bar then turns to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place
my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one
minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit
unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you
will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar,
dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's
open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After
a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator
hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the
man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were
delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.

"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush
fell over the crowd.

After a while, a limp-wristed hand went up in the back of the
bar. A man timidly spoke up.

"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with
the beer bottle".
#17
The Facecloth

I was due for a cancer smear with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am . I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pyjamas, wet the facecloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the facecloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?'

I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal - some shopping, cleaning, & cooking. After school when my 7 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mummy, where's my facecloth?'

I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter saved inside it.' !!!!!!!!

NEVER going back to that doctor ever!!
#18
I'm sorry to hear that sassie, you are in my thoughts and i hope you feel better soon, xxx
#19
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be
The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren;'

And *poof* she's gone.
The second says, 'I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.


The third says, 'I want to be Sara Pipalini..'
St. Peter looks perplexed. 'Who?' he ask
'Sara Pipalini,' replies the nun
St. Peter shakes his head and says, 'I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell.'
> >
> >
> >
> > The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St.Peter.
> >
> >
> >
> > St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 'No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.'
> >
> >
> >
> > If you laugh, you're going straight to hell!
#20
Little Red Riding Hood goes skipping through the woods to take her grandma some buns in a basket. She comes across a bush that is shaking.

She says: "Big, bad wolf, what big watery eyes you have."
Big bad wolf replies: "F**k off I'm having a s**t."
:oops:
#21
shibi din
The Facecloth

I was due for a cancer smear with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am . I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pyjamas, wet the facecloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the facecloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?'

I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal - some shopping, cleaning, & cooking. After school when my 7 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mummy, where's my facecloth?'

I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter saved inside it.' !!!!!!!!

NEVER going back to that doctor ever!!


no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy please tell me this is ajoke :w00t:
#22
http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/7333/13210fy2.jpg
#23
mostwanteddirect
no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy please tell me this is ajoke :w00t:


Yeah it is lol. I've heard it before.
#24
Cheer up Sassie, we luvs ya dearly !!
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/sassiesmile.jpg
banned#25
thanks for the jokes and pics guys xx
#26
sassie
thanks for the jokes and pics guys xx


Better now ?? :)
banned#27
hottoshop
Better now ?? :)


\No, not really and have just snapped raymans head off in feedback for something i didnt read properly, time to call it a night i think, so night all xxx
#28
Night sassie, take care, better day tomorrow :)

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