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Trauma in the Bedroom - Advice Needed

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Last night I was startled awake by a large shadowy figure shining a torch in my eyes, and something shiny in the other hand,when I recovered from my heart attack, I realised it was my husband hissing …
wishihadadonkey Avatar
[mod] 6y, 7m agoPosted 6 years, 7 months ago
Last night I was startled awake by a large shadowy figure shining a torch in my eyes, and something shiny in the other hand,when I recovered from my heart attack, I realised it was my husband hissing at me to keep very still and not move. Mid life crisis flashed into my mind, I've pushed him too far with my unreasonable demands in the early hours I thought, perhaps I shouldn't of flicked his ear or held his nose until he woke up, then ask for coffee icecream or jellybabies at 3am. I was babbling away but all he said was slide down the bed, dont look up and slowly get up, so I immediately looked up and there not 2 inches from my face on the headboard was the biggest, hairiest spider I've ever seen, I could see his evil grinning face, venom dripping from his fangs, he was rubbing his front paws together and I distinctly saw cutlery being brandished around, anyway I leapt from the bed tried to jump into my husbands arms, whereupon he sidestepped and I fell into a chair ( he later said catching me would of been like catching a demented, overweight, athritic Shamu and he valued his back too much, he has and will pay for that remark!!).
Anyway, the shiny thing turned out to be a glass, and after much chasing he eventually cornered the beast and caught him, he was going to empty him into the garden, but I made him go at least 200 yrds up the road to empty him out ( here I would like to apologise to the residents of Devon, if you saw a 6ft 4 man dressed in a white fluffy dressing gown meant for a 5ft 2 woman, wearing a pair of prescription sunglasses emptying something into your garden at 4am this morning, it was my husband and not a pervert )
Anyway after many pregnancy induced hormonal tears ( my husband saw nothing wrong in leaving me asleep in the same room as this mutant beast, whilst he spent 10 mins looking for a torch/glass/piece of cardboard, then waking me up waving a torch in my face ) he's now popping home at lunchtime with a bottle of illicit cherry coke and a red bounty bar, chinese has also been mentioned for tea. The advice I need is how far do I milk it, do I perhaps push for Indian tomorrow night for tea and maybe kfc thurs, could I possibly keep it going until the weekend, what would you do?
I have been traumatised, share my pain ( but not my takeaway's )
wishihadadonkey Avatar
[mod] 6y, 7m agoPosted 6 years, 7 months ago
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2 Likes #1
youre a woman,so obviously you milk it for everything you can get,cast it up to him at every opportunity and still mention it in 20 years time.
#2
Typical woman .... self, self, self ....... no thought for the danger or considerable risk that this unsung hero had to endure .... you should be showing your appreciation in ways only a woman can!;)
banned#3
Your scared of a little insect oO
#4
There will be more of these threads,it's mating season,i've been checking for spiders every night and now you've made me more paranoid arghhhhhhhh

But fancy not waking you up as soon as he saw it,defo milk it all week hehe
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #5
barky
youre a woman,so obviously you milk it for everything you can get,cast it up to him at every opportunity and still mention it in 20 years time.

Good idea, will write it down in my baby journal so I don't forget, that way we could actually ensure my daughter is able to milk it for years too:)

jellybaby22
Well at least he got the spider for you...My OH is more scared of them than me......so if that was us we would have to wake up our 8 year old to rescue us.....but I think in your condition you should be able to milk this for all its worth :p

Luckily spiders he's ok with, if it was snakes he'd be leaping into my arms lol, son paranoid about earwigs, he used to wake me up at night when he was little to shine a torch in his ears to check for them lol

MikeL
Typical woman .... self, self, self ....... no thought for the danger or considerable risk that this unsung hero had to endure .... you should be showing your appreciation in ways only a woman can!;)

What nagging him? I do daily:p

deb8z
There will be more of these threads,it's mating season,i've been checking for spiders every night and now you've made me more paranoid arghhhhhhhhBut fancy not waking you up as soon as he saw it,defo milk it all week hehe

Oh god, my son said this morning it's prob got a mate somewhere, will be going for all week I think, and I'm not going to stop flicking his ears either:D
#6
So basically you were woken up by your other half trying to catch a spider? Is that right? Whats the problem? Should he just leave it next time?
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #7
cdm22
So basically you were woken up by your other half trying to catch a spider? Is that right? Whats the problem? Should he just leave it next time?

I think it was more the way he woke me up, shining a torch into the face of a 38 week pregnant woman whilst standing over her in a menacing manner is prob not the best way to do it, surprised I didn't give birth there and then or whack him before I realised who it was ( even when I did realise I was tempted to lol )
1 Like #8
He was trying not to wake you up and doing you a favour by trying to catch the spider before you noticed! Its true, you really can't please some people can you? oO;)
#9
lol, your story gave me a chuckle. I hate spiders too.
#10
Class donks! funniest thing I've read on here for long time and believe me, I'm a miserable old get!
:D
#11
lol if it was my bf he prob would of got the camcorder then woke me up to see the beast
#12
barky
youre a woman,so obviously you milk it for everything you can get,cast it up to him at every opportunity and still mention it in 20 years time.


+1
#13
Was it this one?

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:53lySJ8LQ0JIaM:b
#14
You're lucky - it would have been the other way round if it has been my OH - he's terrified of them and I have to catch them all. Big girl's blouse. Even our 4 year old laughs at him!
banned#15
Jumpingphil
Was it this one?

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:53lySJ8LQ0JIaM:b


Awaits screaming girlies :p
#16
DLM
Your scared of a little insect oO


Spiders are not Insects.

They are Arachnids.
banned#17
micoo
DLM
Your scared of a little insect oO


Spiders are not Insects.

They are Arachnids.


Thanks for that information :)
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #18
[quote=Jumpingphil]Was it this one? http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:53lySJ8LQ0JIaM:b[/quote

is it waving cutlery about, does it have an evil cackling laugh? if so, it could be:p
banned#19
http://members.iinet.net.au/~pterren/Spider_Dads_hand.JPG
#20
I hate the bloody things. They must have been going the gym this year as they seem sooo much bigger! I feel your pain. Horrid things
#21
"6ft 4 man dressed in a white fluffy dressing gown meant for a 5ft 2 woman".....and you only mentioned YOU was traumatised!!!!
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #22
lumoruk
http://members.iinet.net.au/~pterren/Spider_Dads_hand.JPG

Thats a horrible photo, not sure whats worse the hairy hand or the hairy spider!! But thats very similar to the one on my headboard, just add fangs dripping with venom and bloodlust in its eyes and it would be identical
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #23
jcaho7
"6ft 4 man dressed in a white fluffy dressing gown meant for a 5ft 2 woman".....and you only mentioned YOU was traumatised!!!!

Serves him right, his was in the wash, he was wearing prescription sunglasses too, he'd taken his contacts out when he went to bed and the dog ate his glasses last week and he hasn't picked his new ones up yet, don't feel sorry for him, he has nice knees
#24
http://i629.photobucket.com/albums/uu16/vicki4903/P1010085.jpg

I found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #25
vicki4903
http://i629.photobucket.com/albums/uu16/vicki4903/P1010085.jpgI found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.

Son just informed me they climb up the toilet??? I really hope not!! Really need to go for a wee, but am trying to hold on now until oh gets home so he can inspect the u bend, don't fancy having my bottom frisked by 8 hairy arms lol men have it so easy!!
banned#26
pmsl he was taking a chance wasnt he, i am surprised you didnt knock him out
#27
vicki4903
http://i629.photobucket.com/albums/uu16/vicki4903/P1010085.jpgI found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.

That's the same as the ones we get too - they're HUGE aren't they? They don't fit under a pint glass either as they go all scrunched up up. We get loads when the weather's damp as well. I'm always checking walls and ceilings when I go into any room.
#28
vicki4903
found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.

They probably just lived in the house since they were tiny but you just haven't seen them before! :)
#29
Pmsl at whole story (well put ) hehe, and having visions of your hubby at 4 in the morning with shades on in a womans dressing gown running down the road with a glass in his hand makes me literally pmsl !!! poor man,lol .................................still milk it though, (_;)
#30
i feel your pain and would defo hold out for the curry tomorrow night!!!

i have the worst phobia for spiders ever, all my friends wreck me over it
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #31
ilovepink
i feel your pain and would defo hold out for the curry tomorrow night!!!i have the worst phobia for spiders ever, all my friends wreck me over it

I knew you'd understand, you are worse than me over them!! Just deciding between singapore noodles or duck in plum sauce, can't make my mind up lol
#32
wishihadadonkey
vicki4903
http://i629.photobucket.com/albums/uu16/vicki4903/P1010085.jpgI found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.


Son just informed me they climb up the toilet??? I really hope not!! Really need to go for a wee, but am trying to hold on now until oh gets home so he can inspect the u bend, don't fancy having my bottom frisked by 8 hairy arms lol men have it so easy!!


I know when you flush them down the toilet they close there legs over and create a bubble so they don't get flushed but I still thought they couldn't climb out cos the ceramic surface being too smooth so they couldn't get a grip. Will checking the toilet anyway.lol
#33
kaks26
vicki4903
http://i629.photobucket.com/albums/uu16/vicki4903/P1010085.jpgI found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.


That's the same as the ones we get too - they're HUGE aren't they? They don't fit under a pint glass either as they go all scrunched up up. We get loads when the weather's damp as well. I'm always checking walls and ceilings when I go into any room.


didn't even attempt to catch it, cos I thought we wouldn't have glasses big enough.lol
#34
vicki4903
kaks26
vicki4903
http://i629.photobucket.com/albums/uu16/vicki4903/P1010085.jpgI found this one in my house last week. Just waiting for its mate to come in. I just can't work it out how they get in when they are so big.
That's the same as the ones we get too - they're HUGE aren't they? They don't fit under a pint glass either as they go all scrunched up up. We get loads when the weather's damp as well. I'm always checking walls and ceilings when I go into any room.
didn't even attempt to catch it, cos I thought we wouldn't have glasses big enough.lol

Ain't your boots big enough? :p
#35
very funny thread btw - and brilliantly written OP that had me lmao X)
#36
This beauty was caught walking across one of my bed pillows. Safely extracted to the garden.
Please don't kill spiders, they do more good than harm, honest !!!!!!

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/296bdd4b.jpg
#37
bossyboots
very funny thread btw - and brilliantly written OP that had me lmao X)

+1

Just finished reading it.
Don't normally bother to read mammoth story threads but glad I did.
Funny lady :D
#38
I just thought,why was he shining a torch,why not just switch the light on lol
#39
deb8z
There will be more of these threads,it's mating season,i've been checking for spiders every night and now you've made me more paranoid arghhhhhhhh


noooo dont tell me that,I'll touch,snakes,rats.mice,anything, but I cant stand spiders,I've got the latest Argos book sat in the corner of the room, underneath it is the biggest spider, squashed, well at least I'm hoping its squashed, I've not lifted it yet, seriously its massive, I'm talking blokie massive here, not girlie massive. caught it of the corner of my eye, running along the carpet & dropped the catalogue on it, I swear it was trying to lift the thing off its self !!!! oO

funny story though OP, made me chuckle :D

Edited By: richp on Aug 10, 2010 18:16: .
[mod][Moderator] 1 Like #40
deb8z
I just thought,why was he shining a torch,why not just switch the light on lol

He didn't want to scare the spideroO

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