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Uh oh, another friends post

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Well, since ive spotted 2 this morning i thought id share my own :giggle: Ive got a little mates dilemma of my own. I only have a couple of close friends, then theres just the other ones who i … Read More
Joshanna Avatar
9y, 11m agoPosted 9 years, 11 months ago
Well, since ive spotted 2 this morning i thought id share my own :giggle:

Ive got a little mates dilemma of my own.

I only have a couple of close friends, then theres just the other ones who i see once in a while/text a bit.

I fell out with my "best friend" at the back end of last year.

Weve been friends for 7 years (quite alot i guess since ive only lived here 10 years, and im only 22....) and i thought we were best mates, did stuff together etc.
Then she met her fella, things always seemed a bit akward, cos i knew he fancied me and used to text me :geek: asking me to sleep with him(nice i know!) needless to say, i never replied or even told her, as i didnt want to lose my friend, i stopped going round as much, as i didnt want to bump into him, as i thought it would be weird, so when i went round id make sure he was out, so i didnt stop seeing her.

Anyway, we fell out, due to the fact, that last year, she didnt even sent a text or a card to me or my little boy on our birthdays (usually get each other cards and presents) but i decided to let it go, and make up.
In the couple of weeks we'd fell out, shed gone and got herself engaged to her fella.
So, anyway, we started talking wedding arrangments etc, then i found out i wasnt asked to be a bridesmaid :shock: I personally felt really hurt, that she has people who shes been friends with ONLY a year as a bridesmaid, but not me, and i guess that hurt alot, so i brought it up with her one day.
The reply i got was "I dont want any of the bridesmaids showing me up with being prettier than me"

So, i tried to carry on and be happy for her, but i guess i was really hurt by the fact i wasnt asked, and would just be a normal guest. But i decided i couldnt anymore, due to the fact i thought we were as close as sisters and i felt snubbed by it.
She texted and rang me, and i just didnt reply.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, but, she lives on the same street as my mum, went to see my mum, and saw her house is up for sale now :geek: so what on earth do i do?
If i dont contact her shes going to move away to god knows where and itll definatly be the end of our friendship.
She is still on my myspace, and im still on hers (she obviously knows ive fallen out with her as we used to see each other every week) so, she obviously isnt that mad with me or shed have deleted me.

Meh, i just dont know what to do, and i guess im a bit upset at the prospect of never seeing her again :-( Or do i just let her go?
Joshanna Avatar
9y, 11m agoPosted 9 years, 11 months ago
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#1
Wow must be the season for it :giggle:

Truthfully I can understand how you would be hurt about not being asked to be a bridesmade but Is that really somthing to throw a freindship away over. I'd go and clear the air even if things don't go back to the way they were.
Loosing a GOOD friend hurts alot. Sometimes a lifeline is all they want and she sounds like she would still be receptive over it



Yunno I think I just answered my own dilema too - thanks
#2
I hope you get yours sorted!

I guess ive been thinking about it for a while, but i guess it just really hit home when i saw her house up for sale, as it means i wont know where she is anymore!

And, im questioning whether we are really as gooder friends as i thought if she didnt ask me to be a bridesmaid?
I know we'd fell out at the time, but, at the end of the day, we always make up again, it never lasted more than a couple of weeks in all fairness LOL!

We have been through alot together though, but maybe people change and weve changed?
#3
This may have something to do with your actions at the start of your thread.

She get's a new boyfriend and you admit that your relationship wth her cooling off from your side.

She see's this and thinks your relationship is fading away, she want's her bridesmaid to be longlife friends and maybe thinks that you will drift away.

Maybe she genuinely forgot the birthday(we've all done it) and you are reading too much into that.

Looking from her point of view she probably thought that you were jealous of her relationship so picked another friend to be bridesmaid.

You not even going to her wedding (I assume you didn't) and not replying to her texts has compounded any thoughts she may have had.

To be honest she has tried to be your friend and you have rejected her so it is no wonder she is not being too friendly lately. She see's no reason why you have fell out with her, only you know the reasons

Go and see her and make friends before she moves and you lose her forever.

Explain about how you feel and try and make up, if it works great, if it doesn't at least you will have tried and you will not regret it forever.
#4
greg_68
Go and see her and make friends before she moves and you lose her forever.

Explain about how you feel and try and make up, if it works great, if it doesn't at least you will have tried and you will not regret it forever.


Wise words there :thumbsup:
Might give her a text when ive decided what to say :-D
#5
If you want to be friends with her again rather than telling her the truth about
her new husband(which you don't want to do) explain to her that you were jealous of her new life (not true but a way round it).

Tell her you would love to be friends with her again and try put all the past behind you both.

The only problem is how are you going to feel when her husband is around. If she sees you being cool with her again when he's around she going to think something funny is going on.
#6
LOL im not sure if ive made things perfectly clear, there not actually getting married until next year :giggle:

Thing is, does she really want to be marrying someone whos texting her best mate trying to get it on with them :geek:

End of the day, i feel a bit crap about not telling her, but i dont want to upset her, and i certainly DONT want to split them up, as i have NO interest in him.

Thinking of just texting her, saying "sorry for being mardy, ive seen your house is up for sale, and i dont want you to move without being friends, or even just saying goodbye"
#7
I think he has probably put paid to your relationship ever really lasting as you will always feel uncomfortable about it.

I think the dilema of whether to tell your friend her boyfriend is having/thinking about an affair is one of the most complicated situations to be put in.

I guess the best scenario is she moves away as a friend and you either only ever chat on the phone or meet up without him.

When their relationship ends (which is probable given his actions towards you) you can be the friend she needs then.
#8
Why did you have to go and tell everyone that I asked to sleep with you by text....and you'll not be bridesmaid cos the fiance fears I'll say no at the altar cos you'll be in my sight....still we could always meet the night before so you'll get a taste of what you'll be missing for the rest of your life.

My final offer...so text me with your decision....I promise I will not tell a soul.
#9
currychops
Why did you have to go and tell everyone that I asked to sleep with you by text....and you'll not be bridesmaid cos the fiance fears I'll say no at the altar cos you'll be in my sight....still we could always meet the night before so you'll get a taste of what you'll be missing for the rest of your life.

My final offer...so text me with your decision....I promise I will not tell a soul.


Text sent :thumbsup:
#10
replied and ordered the free condoms!
#11
if you tell her about the texts too soon she'l think your jealous and are making it up
#12
currychops
Why did you have to go and tell everyone that I asked to sleep with you by text....and you'll not be bridesmaid cos the fiance fears I'll say no at the altar cos you'll be in my sight....still we could always meet the night before so you'll get a taste of what you'll be missing for the rest of your life.

My final offer...so text me with your decision....I promise I will not tell a soul.


Might have known it was you. Leave her alone she is not interested :giggle:
#13
I would try and keep in contact with her, you may be the one making all of the effort now but it will be worth it in the long run. These things take work but are always worth it

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