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Who wants a £10 amazon voucher? Come cheer me up!

£0.00 @ Amazon
First of all merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all So I have been feeling really fed up and a bit down of late, now I have a chest infection too which is hurting quite bad :( Anyway thou… Read More
nortyangel Avatar
6m, 3w agoPosted 6 months, 3 weeks ago
First of all merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all

So I have been feeling really fed up and a bit down of late, now I have a chest infection too which is hurting quite bad :(
Anyway thought I would inject some Christmas cheer around by giving away an amazon voucher for £10..................
All you have to do is just tell me something to cheer me up, something funny, something stupid or a funny pic! Whatever you want!
1 entry per person and I will pick a winner on boxing day
Good luck people :)
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nortyangel Avatar
6m, 3w agoPosted 6 months, 3 weeks ago
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(5)
9 Likes
“I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.
9 Likes
Bought all my Christmas presents from amazon and used the gift wrapped service BIG MISTAKE amazon didn't put names on them, I now have no idea what is in each present it's like a big game of secret santa.
banned 8 Likes
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102014/1414497531_little_girls_fairy_flies_directly_into_fireplace.gif
7 Likes
https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15355562_1786311841638402_8059544656249661737_n.jpg?oh=768c790d9960e7b762ffd3261c94f7bd&oe=58EF1B9A
6 Likes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?'

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banned#1
You are bribing people to make you happy?

At this time of year?

In the words of The Beatles "Money cant buy you antibiotics"
6 Likes #2
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?'
#3
Something funny? The voucher has already been used :p

Thanks.
#4
no matter how bad it gets you'll not be mutley

..unless you're a multi..

Edited By: brilly on Dec 24, 2016 20:40
#5
Akaptel94
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?'

This one has got to be a winner - just wonderful.
1 Like #6
This was my chickens reaction when I told her of your offer https://s28.postimg.org/m2wlailbx/IMG_9067.gif
4 Likes #7
Give the 10£ to some one really needy or some small kid . Kid smile will make u happy...
#8
Did you hear about the native american that died from drinking too much tea and not going to the toilet? He died in his tipi. (Don't want an entry, just sharing something funny :D )
1 Like #9
brilly
no matter how bad it gets you'll not be mutley
..unless you're a multi..

I would like to like this comment, but i am not sure if i should X)
2 Likes #10
Thought of cooking my Christmas lunch but heard that raw meat is the way to go....
3 Likes #11
question :what is ET short for
Answer. : because he's got little legs.
That always cheers me up. :)
4 Likes #12
I will tell u a little story not to cheer you up but just wat I experienced wen I got home from work this Christmas evening.....I found my wife sitting on the floor with my 9 year old boy counting out the penny jar(we all have one)....weird thing was I looked at her and she was absolutely sweating...looking really anxious and really moody....I thought to myself this is going to go one of two ways...so I say to her..."are you ok, wat are you doing?....too which I got the response...."I'm going through the change" ;)
1 Like #13
And you think you are unlucky??

My sister wouldnt believe me when I said Webbs Of Wychbold was jinxed/cursed for our family, and decided to go ice skating there yesterday.
Now she is holed up at mums house with her baby daughter, a badly broken arm, painkillers she is allergic to, and facing an operation and 8 weeks in plaster.

LAST year, while she was there, her husband fell through a roof and killed himself, so I suppose this year she got off lucky.

Will a £10 voucher buy her better drugs???
#14
SAM_Londn
Give the 10£ to some one really needy or some small kid . Kid smile will make u happy...


im needy and also 5 years old ;)
#15
Going to post something funny on Boxing Day.
#16
cooliomoolio
This was my chickens reaction when I told her of your offer https://s28.postimg.org/m2wlailbx/IMG_9067.gif

I would like to see the reaction of the white chicken. Have you got another pic?
#17
theshepherd83
SAM_Londn
Give the 10£ to some one really needy or some small kid . Kid smile will make u happy...
im needy and also 5 years old ;)

Needy or Greedy?
#18
Save thee brass, infact put another 10 bob to it and get this: MAN UP
#19
it's Christmas not Halloween so bit late for trick or treat, or early for April fool's, cheer up always someone worse out there if you wanna give it away go find a homeless person who is lying in a shop door whilst your all with your families
1 Like #20
SAM_Londn
theshepherd83
SAM_Londn
Give the 10£ to some one really needy or some small kid . Kid smile will make u happy...
im needy and also 5 years old ;)

Needy or Greedy?


im 5 wat do u expect
1 Like #21
What's a fish with no eyes?

Fsh
1 Like #22
fozzeh
Going to post something funny on Boxing Day.

Not a spontaneous person then? :)
#23
I get sad a lot aswell because women always call me ugly, then they find out how much money I earn..... and then they call me ugly and poor.
#24
matt1982villa
Thought of cooking my Christmas lunch but heard that raw meat is the way to go....


mmmmm! uncooked maple and cola glazed ham ;)
1 Like #25
This festive holiday I found out my 15 year old daughter had never seen the die hard or lethal weapon movies..... bad parent!!!!!

She has now seen all 9 and all is now right with the world.
1 Like #26
Eden0032
What's a fish with no eyes?
Fsh

A blind fish.
2 Likes #27
I’ve decided to sell my Hoover…........ well, it was just collecting dust.:D
3 Likes #28
mutley1
cooliomoolio
This was my chickens reaction when I told her of your offer https://s28.postimg.org/m2wlailbx/IMG_9067.gif

I would like to see the reaction of the white chicken. Have you got another pic?


The white one wasn't interest.. but gizmo who you couldn't see in my first gif did seem to think "wtf!?!"..

https://s24.postimg.org/5j56x2jvp/IMG_9068.gif

sorry, quality isn't as good since it is a longer clip.
#29
3 Likes #30
My wife said she could hear music coming from the printer upstairs, I said ' oh no, the paper's jammin' again'
2 Likes #31
mutley1
cooliomoolio
This was my chickens reaction when I told her of your offer https://s28.postimg.org/m2wlailbx/IMG_9067.gif

I would like to see the reaction of the white chicken. Have you got another pic?


I shouted out your offer again in case the white chicken never heard, she is the eldest of them all so hearing isn't as good.. but this time I think she heard me..

https://s24.postimg.org/f0qklnu6t/IMG_9070.gif

If that isn't excitement then I don't know what is!
2 Likes #32
Chivas Regal
My wife said she could hear music coming from the printer upstairs, I said ' oh no, the paper's jammin' again'

This wins for me!!! Made me chuckle
banned 8 Likes #33
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102014/1414497531_little_girls_fairy_flies_directly_into_fireplace.gif
4 Likes #34
Some Christmas advice from experience.

be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks.
One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea.
Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a Bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a Bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from....

;)
3 Likes #35
Existence is ultimately futile and everything dies in the end.
2 Likes #36
Error440
Existence is ultimately futile and everything dies in the end.


I bet your an absolute blast to hang about with.......... oO
#37
In my day, a Groupon was a multiway strap on dildo
1 Like #38
Interviewer: So your CV says you used to be a pufferfish. Would you like to expand?
1 Like #39
Don't use Amazon and gave away one of their vouchers myself, but just want to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you are feeling better soon. X)
3 Likes #40
I would donate £10 to Breast Cancer...... this time last year I was bald and half way through chemo.... but now I am fine!!! Loving Life!! Loving everyone!! Merry Christmas to all! xx

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