Weekend jokes! - HotUKDeals
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Weekend jokes!

moose109 Avatar
5y, 5m agoPosted 5 years, 5 months ago
We needs them!
moose109 Avatar
5y, 5m agoPosted 5 years, 5 months ago
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2 Likes #1
I was clearing out an attic earlier and came across an old lamp, rubbing it clean, a genie popped out and said he'd grant me one wish! I said 'I want to live forever', genie said 'I can't do that', so I replied 'ok then, I want to live until Spurs win the Premiership', 'damn' said the genie...
#2
what do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo, a wolly jumper
#3
What do you get if a joke thread is posted every week.

Bored.
#4
Whats the difference between a german girl and a walrus?






1 has a moustache and smells of fish, the other is a walrus.
#5
Only in Wales do you get:

a) a jumper
b) meat
c) a ****

from one animal!
#6
I hear in the Crimewatch re-enactment, Joanna Yeates is going to be played by her mum.

Do you think they will let me play myself?

Edited By: dtovey89 on Jun 17, 2011 17:35
1 Like #7
Ok, I asked my neice earlier what her favourite joke was and she came back to me with this:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get a Happy Meal... (_;)

Edited By: niminator on Jun 17, 2011 17:37
1 Like #8
mrperrect1976
what do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo, a wolly jumper


huh, i always thought id get a wooly jumper
#9
magicbeans
mrperrect1976
what do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo, a wolly jumper


huh, i always thought id get a wooly jumper

Crimbo gift sorted
#10
The Government

also weekday jokes too
banned#11
moose109
I was clearing out an attic earlier and came across an old lamp


Mods?
#12
My wife says she's leaving me because of my OCD ....

So i said close the door 5 times on your way out
#13
Due to the cucumber and broadbean E.Coli outbreak, the public have been taking things into their own hands!
They even killed a vegetable on emerdale last week!
#14
Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
#15
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by his first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

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