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What a girl/boy says - but really means.....

agaveworm Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
When it comes to 'wimmin' I'm a little basic (special needs, if you like) - help me out here.....
agaveworm Avatar
8y, 1m agoPosted 8 years, 1 month ago
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Comments/page:
#1
I'm washing my hair.............
#2
When a woman says "its fine" it really is not :)
#3
... same goes with.. 'yeh im ok' NOT
#4
when i say i'm washing my hair i am.... when my hubby asks am i alright when he knows i'm not i normally say 'yeah fine'
#5
fireheaven
When a woman says "its fine" it really is not :)


If a woman says it's fine....................................go hide.
1 Like #6
You want
= You want

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to make, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.



(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such an jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam
#7
fireheaven
You want
= You want

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to make, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.



(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such an jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam


'king hell !!!! I pity your other half...............:cry:
#8
agaveworm
'king hell !!!! I pity your other half...............:cry:


Lol that was just to help you out :thumbsup:
#9
fireheaven
You want
= You want

We need
= I want

It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk
= I need to complain

Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.

I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.

I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes
= No

No
= No

Maybe
= No

I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to make, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.



(The answer to "What's wrong?")

The same old thing
= Nothing

Nothing
= Everything

Everything
= My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really
= It's just that you're such an jerk

I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam


Typical woman......................................make a list:whistling: ;-)
#10
fox2020
Typical woman......................................make a list:whistling: ;-)


Ok fine! :x










:-D ;-)
#11
fireheaven
Ok fine! :x


Oh dear...:? I'm washing my hair now....:thumbsup:
#12
fireheaven
Ok fine! :x










:-D ;-)


http://www.comicguide.net/images/smilies/lol1.gif
#13
agaveworm
Oh dear...:? I'm washing my hair now....:thumbsup:


:lol:

I am nice...........honest :)

Again just giving you an example. Women are complex creatures at the best of times
#14
fireheaven
:lol:

I am nice...........honest :)

Again just giving you an example. Women are complex creatures at the best of times


Aren't women from Mars...........................?
#15
fireheaven
:lol:

I am nice...........honest :)

Again just giving you an example. Women are complex creatures at the best of times


Think you may have spelt complex wrong it is called psychotic most of the time:-D



;-)
#16
"I'm just checking my email" = "I'm addicted to HUKD Misc" (this one works for either gender)
#17
fox2020
Think you may have spelt complex wrong it is called psychotic most of the time:-D



;-)


I do have to agree with you there - not in relation to myself I might add :-D
#18
fireheaven
I do have to agree with you there - not in relation to myself I might add :-D


;-) and on that note I bid you all....................................goodnight http://board.freeones.com/images/smilies/hatsoff.gif
#19
fox2020
;-) and on that note I bid you all....................................goodnight http://board.freeones.com/images/smilies/hatsoff.gif



Men talk ..........goodnight = spank the monkey :w00t:

Night Fox :-D
#20
Spank the what............? :oops:
#21
agaveworm
Spank the what............? :oops:



Ok...... spank the worm :w00t:;-)
#22
How to Make a Woman Happy




It's not difficult to make a woman happy.



A man only needs to be:





1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes





HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY







1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer
#23
5rannoch
How to Make a Woman Happy




It's not difficult to make a woman happy.



A man only needs to be:





1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes





HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY







1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer


Lol good post :thumbsup::-D
banned#24
How to make a woman happy in 3 easy steps :roll:

Men, get ready. You are about to discover the secret that will revolutionize your relationships.

You are going to learn how to make the love of your life happy.

And it isn't as expensive and complicated as you may think. The secret is known as the three "A's". Integrating these elements into your daily life will guarantee you an exciting, loving, and dynamic relationship. The three "A's" are attention, affection and appreciation. If you give your wife the attention she needs, the affection she longs for and the appreciation she deserves, then you are definitely going to make her happy.

Now, before we begin, I'm going to let you in on an open secret.

Men and Women are Different.

Now, I don't know if they really come from different planets or not, but they are definitely, undeniably different from each other. And one of the ways in which those differences come out is in the needs that each one has from a relationship.

Let's be honest. Who, really, understands relationships on a deeper level - men or women? For some reason, women seem to navigate relationships intuitively. We, on the other hand...need some tips.

So what can we do? How can we have a beautiful relationship with someone who takes relationships so seriously?

We need to invest some time into it. 24/7.

And if we do it well, then she is going to take all that we've put in, turn it around and give back so much more - which will make us happier than we ever dreamed we could be. That's the cycle around which relationships revolve.

That said, let's get moving.

The Three A's.

We'll start with appreciation.

In order to understand what a women needs in order to feel appreciated, let's listen in on a conversation between Jessica and her mom, and Scott and his dad.

"Hi, Mom, how are you?"

"Great, Jessica. How are you? How was Beth's wedding? Tell me everything!"

"Oh, Mom, it was beautiful. Beth's dress was stunning, like she stepped out of a fairy tale. Puffed sleeves, Belgian lace, real seawater pearls, and the fabric was the most gorgeous satin I've ever seen."

"What was her bouquet like?"

"All roses. Cream, white, light pink. And the centerpieces had the same roses, with candles."

"What did you wear?"

You get the picture.

Now we'll flash to Scott's conversation with his dad.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hi, Scott. How's it going?"

"Great. You?"

"Just fine. How was the wedding?"

"Beautiful."

"Glad to hear it. Love you, son. Take care."

"Love you too, Dad."

End of dialogue.

Why did it take Jessica longer to say hello to her mom than Scott's whole conversation with his dad? Because men and women are different. Women go into detail because they use words to connect on an emotional level. Men, on the other hand, use words in order to communicate information. That's why just saying hello and goodbye for a woman can take longer than an entire conversation for a man.

Understanding this is the key to appreciating your wife. If you really want to make her feel appreciated, then allow her to connect to you emotionally through those details. That's what she needs.

Now you understand why, when you ask her how work was today, she answers, "Oh, at the beginning it was great. I was walking down the street, looking at the sky and thinking that maybe..." She's connecting to you.

Be open enough to listen.

She'll feel that you appreciate who she is and what she thinks and feels. And if you want to throw in a bonus now and then, so when she asks you the same question, answer her by telling her how crowded the train was, and the coffeemaker was broken so you went down the street to Starbuck's and on the way you met an old college roommate - to you it may sound boring, but she's going to feel great that you're sharing the details of your day. Trust me.

Attention. Give your wife your undivided attention when she talks to you. What's undivided attention? That means assuming "the position." Put the paper down. Put the computer on standby. Turn off the TV ("off", not "mute"). Make eye contact.

Now, you may be thinking, that's not so hard. I can even fake it if I have to, right? Wrong! Remember what we said earlier about women and relationships? Her relationship-radar will tell her that you are spacing out even before you realize it.

So don't take chances. Put aside whatever you're doing, make eye contact and listen to her with your undivided attention. And if you're really too busy at the moment, then assume that position and say, "You know, honey, I really want to hear what you have to say, but I'm right in the middle of something and I can't drop it. As soon as I finish I'll be able to give you my undivided attention, okay?" Good job.

Affection. The number one tool for showing your spouse affection is to use "affectionate tones". What are affectionate tones, you ask? Using affectionate tones means always speaking in a way that conveys love and respect.

See, we men tend to divide the relationship into various components. Part of it includes affection, so then we'll speak in affectionate tones. Paying the bills? Business tones. Parenting? Parenting tones. Going out with friends? Social tones. But for women, everything in the relationship is a relationship. It doesn't matter what you're doing; for her, it's an opportunity to connect.

So if it's time for affection, use affectionate tones. Balancing the checkbook? Affectionate tones. Whatever you're doing, use affectionate tones.

Now, go find your soul mate. Start giving her the three A's. You'll be shocked at how immediate the results are, and how your relationship will be stronger and more loving than you ever thought it could be.
#25
fireheaven
Men talk ..........goodnight = spank the monkey :w00t:


fireheaven
Ok...... spank the worm :w00t:;-)


OMFG I just laughed hard:w00t:
banned#26
robtallica
OMFG I just laughed hard:w00t:


As long as that was the only thing that was hard
#27
Foosball Chum
As long as that was the only thing that was hard


trust you :oops::p

Nah I'm not PM'ing FH currently so my bloods not boiling over:w00t:
#28
Foosball Chum
As long as that was the only thing that was hard



A bit of a pointless exercise if its not surely :w00t:
banned#29
robtallica
trust you :oops::p

Nah I'm not PM'ing FH currently so my bloods not boiling over:w00t:


She makes your blood boil?

fireheaven
A bit of a pointless exercise if its not surely :w00t:


Take you a little less time on the spray condom though :roll:
#30
Ohh another one - forget it means under no circumstances should you forget :)

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