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What a life

skusey Avatar
8y, 3m agoPosted 8 years, 3 months ago
What a life;
My wife only has s*x with me for a purpose. Last night she
> used me to time an egg.
>
>
>
> It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on
> the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
>
>
>
> Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was
> wearing a sexy negligee.
>The only trouble was, she was coming home.
>
>
>
> A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's
> nobody home.'
>I went over. Nobody was home!
>
>
>
> A hooker once told me she had a headache.
>
>
>
> I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
>
>
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> If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no s*x life
> at all.
>
>
>
> I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I
> said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?'
> She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'
>
>
>
> I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger.
> That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head
> comes off.
>
>
>
> I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure s*x
> offenders.
>
>
>
> My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the
> kitchen the roaches hang themselves..
>
>
>
> I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got
> arrested for mooning.
>
>
>
> The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I
> asked him, 'Why?'
> He said, 'Because you came home early.'
>
>
>
> My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for
> Alka-Seltzer.

>
>
>
> My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the
> meal.
>
>
>
> My wife likes to talk on the phone during s*x; she called
> me from Chicago last night.
>
>
>
> My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a
> boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
skusey Avatar
8y, 3m agoPosted 8 years, 3 months ago
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Comments/page:
banned#1
Someone's been recieveing joke emails I see! :w00t:
#2
Lol :)
#3
"My wife likes to talk on the phone during s*x;
she called me from Chicago last night."


i lol'd .. tusk

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