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What would you do?

Benjimoron Avatar
6y, 9m agoPosted 6 years, 9 months ago
Just want to find out what other people would do in this situation, particularly parents.

Took my son to a friend's house to play and one of the parents gave my son a laser pointer to play with (without my permission obviously).

What would you do?
Benjimoron Avatar
6y, 9m agoPosted 6 years, 9 months ago
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#1
How old is your son?
#2
Celticsun
How old is your son?


Good point, forgot to add that.

He's 4.
[mod][Moderator]#3
I would explain to your son, that some things aren't toys, and shouldn't be played with as such
#4
I would tell his parents in the nicest way possible you don't want him playing with that stuff. No nastey comments, just your boy doesn't play with that sort of stuff, especially when a laser pen depending on grade of pen can effect the eyes.
#5
Bit Silly really of the other parent, obviously either not very bright or just naive to the fact they are generally bad for your retinas, I would just have pointed out the error of there ways and been a bit short when explaining it to them but not OTT.

and this
wishihadadonkey
I would explain to your son, that some things aren't toys, and shouldn't be played with as such
banned#6
Depends how big the pointer was and if it was a choking hazard.
#7
FilthAndFurry
Depends how big the pointer was and if it was a choking hazard.


you weren't the other parent were you? :-D
#8
Were you there when he was playing with it,did you say anything there and then..............although i don't even know what a laser pointer is!
#9
deb8z
Were you there when he was playing with it,did you say anything there and then..............although i don't even know what a laser pointer is!


Yes, I took it off him and explained to him that they can be dangerous and are most certainly not kids toys!

It just annoys me that another parent would do it and I won't always be there to stop it. What if someone does it again and it causes him eye damage? I know I can't protect him forever but is it too much to ask that parents don't go giving 4 year olds laser pointers to play with???

Laser pointers are the things that shine a bright red dot, the things people doing presentations use to point at things on the board. They can be very dangerous for your eyes, particularly with kids who like to shine things in people's eyes and won't realise the danger. The higher the power of laser pointer the more damage it can do. I believe that no one under 18 has a proper use for one unless they're using one at school for example, they are most certainly not kid's toys!! They shouldn't be encouraged to play with them at the age of 4!!!

The other danger is that alot of laser pointers aren't labeled correctly, this means you may have a high power one whilst thinking you have a low power one. I believe they do this to allow them to be sold where high power ones wouldn't be allowed if that makes sense?

"Many of the laser pointers assessed by the HPA were either incorrectly labelled or not labelled at all. It was also unusual to find any information on laser safety or warnings on the implications of potential misuse supplied with the products."
banned#10
tell him to point it at police helicopters
#11
I think by your question that you are not to happy about the situation but its not easy is it when you leave your child in the care of others and expect them to have the same rules and ethics. I suggest that you thank your friend for the playtime but ask in a rational way if its a good idea to allow such items to be used as toys.
#12
In Australia they are illegal unless you have a proper use for one, ie you're doing presentations.

http://news.slashdot.org/news/08/04/21/0340249.shtml

This even goes to say they are being classed as a weapon.

I don't really watch the news but I have seen them mentioned several times, most recently with regards to them being used to blind pilots of planes that are about to land.
#13
I wouldn't leave my child with this person ever again!
#14
snowtiger
I wouldn't leave my child with this person ever again!


Really? Or are you winding up? Personally I think that's a bit extreme, but I'd like to feel confident that I could do something reasonable to make sure it doesn't happen again.

To be honest, I'm still suprised that they did it.
#15
I think a lot of it is down to educating your child as well.

Lol if your worried about them playing with a laser pointer...you are gonna have a few rough years when they hit their teens :-D

snowtiger
I wouldn't leave my child with this person ever again!


Oh come on its not like it was a potato peeler!
#16
Celticsun
I think a lot of it is down to educating your child as well.

Lol if your worried about them playing with a laser pointer...you are gonna have a few rough years when they hit their teens :-D


Yes and I try to educate him best about things like that. But then he's only 4 and when he's given a (toy!!!) laser pointer and told to play with it then he's going to isn't he. He's not old enough to tell the parent, "my dad has asked me not to play with these things (he'd have to recognise the difference between a laser pointer and a torch) so I will graciously decline your invitation thankyou!"

When he's a teen he will have the knowledge and experience to make his own choices, sure he's gonna make mistakes, but I think by then he will have learnt the basics on how to protect himself and it's up to him to make the right choice then. Something he is not really capable of at the age of 4.
#17
Benjimoron;8022154
Really? Or are you winding up? Personally I think that's a bit extreme, but I'd like to feel confident that I could do something reasonable to make sure it doesn't happen again.

To be honest, I'm still suprised that they did it.


No I really would NOT leave my child with this person again! Anyone who gives a laser pen to a 4 year old to play with is not competent in my book.
#18
Benjimoron
He's not old enough to tell the parent, "my dad has asked me not to play with these things (he'd have to recognise the difference between a laser pointer and a torch) so I will graciously decline your invitation thankyou!"



Then I don't think he is being taught well enough, and you should have a word with his nursery/school and yourself and get him up to speed with his communication skills, maybe have him held back at nursery for a year to catch up.


(yeah I can make silly comments as well, seriously don't take things so personally)
#19
Adam2050
I would tell his parents in the nicest way possible you don't want him playing with that stuff. No nastey comments, just your boy doesn't play with that sort of stuff, especially when a laser pen depending on grade of pen can effect the eyes.


The problem though is that it's almost better if he is the one who plays with it, as it'll go in other people's eyes. I don't just want my son not to play with them, I want to make sure that no other kids he is around are playing with them as it'll damage his eyes.
#20
Benjimoron
The problem though is that it's almost better if he is the one who plays with it, as it'll go in other people's eyes. I don't just want my son not to play with them, I want to make sure that no other kids he is around are playing with them as it'll damage his eyes.


Yep. But that would of been in the speach too, you don't give someone elses kid the toy, its likely to be either through the other kid taking it or the parents just not giving a hoot, which if they don't respond the way you like Snowtiger has a point.
#21
Celticsun
Then I don't think he is being taught well enough, and you should have a word with his nursery/school and yourself and get him up to speed with his communication skills, maybe have him held back at nursery for a year to catch up.


(yeah I can make silly comments as well, seriously don't take things so personally)


Was worried for a sec there!

What do you mean take things personally? There's nothing personal about it, I consider the parent in question to be one of my friends. But I need to do the best I can to ensure my son's safety, I don't want him getting eye damage because I didn't do something that I knew I should.
#22
Adam2050
Yep. But that would of been in the speach too, you don't give someone elses kid the toy, its likely to be either through the other kid taking it or the parents just not giving a hoot, which if they don't respond the way you like Snowtiger has a point.


I don't follow totally, maybe re-word it a little and I might understand, sorry.

I saw the parent give it to my son to "play" with ("play" being the parent's word, not mine), I was standing just a metre away and heard and saw it all and stepped in.
#23
Sorry switching from work to play to quickly.

As to your reponse about seeing the parent give it him, did you not stop him or say no?
banned#24
get over it you bunch of nannies
#25
Adam2050
Sorry switching from work to play to quickly.

As to your reponse about seeing the parent give it him, did you not stop him or say no?


You're still switching too quickly then!

Benjimoron
heard and saw it all and stepped in.


Benjimoron
Yes, I took it off him and explained to him that they can be dangerous and are most certainly not kids toys!
#26
Benjimoron
Was worried for a sec there!

What do you mean take things personally? There's nothing personal about it, I consider the parent in question to be one of my friends. But I need to do the best I can to ensure my son's safety, I don't want him getting eye damage because I didn't do something that I knew I should.


I know what you are saying, and bringing up kids is surely although not intentionally so very much trial and error, I would have been annoyed but its part of the learning curve of life sometimes they are harsh.

The parent clearly didn't realise how dangerous the pointers can be, if you stop and think about it anything can happen at play groups or parties and you can end up worrying yourself sick about it.

Unfortunetly there are a lot of very dim people out there who shouldn't be allowed to look after themselves let alone children. All you can do as a parent is the best you can.
#27
Benjimoron
You're still switching too quickly then!


Okay so the parent saw you do this?
#28
Adam2050
Okay so the parent saw you do this?


Yes, I stepped in the second it happened.
#29
Benjimoron
Yes, I stepped in the second it happened.


Don't think theres much point in taking it further, should of explained this in the first place :p

You have made your stance very clear.
#30
Adam2050
Don't think theres much point in taking it further, should of explained this in the first place :p

You have made your stance very clear.


I wanted to know what other people would've done in the situation without being influenced by what I did, so I asked what would you do? Not what do you think of what I did?

I explained to my son about the dangers etc but I'm not sure that the other parent heard or took in what I was saying. Obviously my son will need reminding as he's not going to have totally remembered or be able to recognise the difference between torch and laser at the age of 4.
#31
Celticsun
All you can do as a parent is the best you can.


Yep, which is why I'm now wondering what I need to do to try to make sure it won't happen again. Personally I think I should have a word with the parent and make sure they understand the danger and hopefully they'd then agree that it won't be near my son again. I understand I've just got to deal with situations as they come up, I can't totally stop it ever happening again, but I can take reasonable steps.

Problem is that my wife thinks it's a bad idea to mention it to the other parent. I can't see the harm in having a 30 second chat about the danger and hopefully agreeing that it shouldn't be used as a toy for kids. But my wife thinks I'm overreacting and you've just got to hope that things like that won't happen as you can't 100% guarentee their safety. I think you have to take reasonable steps to keep them safe, not just hope for the best!
[mod][Moderator]#32
Benjimoron
I wanted to know what other people would've done in the situation without being influenced by what I did, so I asked what would you do? Not what do you think of what I did?

I explained to my son about the dangers etc but I'm not sure that the other parent heard or took in what I was saying. Obviously my son will need reminding as he's not going to have totally remembered or be able to recognise the difference between torch and laser at the age of 4.


My nephew is not quite 4 and understands that he mustn't play with certain items, I'm sure my son did too when he was 4, and I will bring my daughter and the one on it's way up the same way, I try to educate them as young as possible to say no to something they are uncertain of if in someone else's care until they check with me/daddy, as you can never be certain how other people view items that you consider dangerous or not suitable, hope that makes sense am typing whilst feeding lo:thumbsup:
#33
wishihadadonkey
My nephew is not quite 4 and understands that he mustn't play with certain items, I'm sure my son did too when he was 4, and I will bring my daughter and the one on it's way up the same way, I try to educate them as young as possible to say no to something they are uncertain of if in someone else's care until they check with me/daddy, as you can never be certain how other people view items that you consider dangerous or not suitable, hope that makes sense am typing whilst feeding lo:thumbsup:


Yes, but every kid is different. My son, if given something that looks like a toy and told to play with it by another parent will play with it. A few kids would say no, but not many.

Different if he was given a knife, I expect he would recognise the danger and say no. But a laser pointer looks like a toy, the problem is that a kid can't instinctively recognise the danger.


And again, the problem isn't really that my son was told to play with it, the more important thing is that other kids were playing with it and it proably would've ended up getting shined in my son's eyes (as kids like to do with torches etc).
#34
I was just going to ask if the other parent knew of the dangers, but it seems like they may not.

Have a word, if they understand your concerns, end it there. No drama.
#35
Adam2050
I would tell his parents in the nicest way possible you don't want him playing with that stuff. No nastey comments, just your boy doesn't play with that sort of stuff, especially when a laser pen depending on grade of pen can effect the eyes.


+1
#36
thesaint
I was just going to ask if the other parent knew of the dangers, but it seems like they may not.

Have a word, if they understand your concerns, end it there. No drama.


I would hope they had heard when I explained it to my son. I know I would want to find out why someone interrupted and took something from their son that I was giving them, I made it pretty obvious that I was taking it from him for safety reasons.
#37
I would go up to the offending parent and talk to them nicely about the dangers of laser pointers, before clobbering them over the head and knocking em out.
Then I would bundle em into the boot of my car, drive to the woods and tie em to a tree with their eyes taped wide open, whilst pointing the laser into their eyes for at least 30 minutes.

Simples really.
banned#38
Benjimoron
I would hope they had heard when I explained it to my son. I know I would want to find out why someone interrupted and took something from their son that I was giving them, I made it pretty obvious that I was taking it from him for safety reasons.


Just hoping they heard isn't good parenting on your part if you plan to have your son around them again. You should have mentioned it clearly to your friend and your safety fears so your friend or son aren't in the same position again because if they didn't hear they may have thought you weren't allowing your son toys as he may have misbehaved earlier
[helper]#39
As others have suggested, I'd have words with the other parent and make sure they know its dangerous. If they don't take any notice you then have a bit of a dilemma ie do you want your child playing at their house and possibly getting their eyesight damaged? There is a risk to everything and although its probably only very small risk if the parent doesn't take your concerns seriously, I'm not sure I would let my child go round un-supervised....
#40
Paddy Charlie
Just hoping they heard isn't good parenting on your part if you plan to have your son around them again. You should have mentioned it clearly to your friend and your safety fears so your friend or son aren't in the same position again because if they didn't hear they may have thought you weren't allowing your son toys as he may have misbehaved earlier


Which is why I intend to speak to the parent as I already said. Although my wife thinks that's a bad idea. I don't really want to annoy my wife but I want to do all I can reasonably to keep my kids safe.

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